This one is about paradox and dichotomy.
PARA comes from the Latin “Distinct from” and DOX means “our opinion”. The word paradox is literally “Distinct from our opinion”. So everyone who says don't ever pay attention to what others think about you, simply says you to be a paradoxical one :D There are many types of paradox and in general, it's a very interesting thing. Simply put you have to break through the barrier of fear and anxiety that trauma creates in some area of your life. An example can be a gender phenomenon for trans people, you have to care about it until the point where you already don't... Only then you are ok with it... I will describe this in the Greezer paradox later on. It's just firstly I wanted to pay my duty to the paradox itself... As something unexpected and strange. Some things don't rely on our opinions. It's good to have them, it's just... not always that they count so much. Criticizing and censoring doesn't count at all, that only stops you from getting desirable freedom, it doesn't matter if you criticize, censor yourself, or others... you demand it from others or you experience the need to share this :D rather a trash (than a treasure) with them... as if there wouldn't be anything better to share. It is a lose/lose situation you want to keep yourself, and others in.. or be maintained by others or keep them in it. And only breaking out of this circle that is supposed to bring you that peace and happiness... will make it true. OUT OF THE OPINION... beyond it. Ok, now... a simple example is called the Geezers paradox: the idea that people don't become cooler with age, but instead care less about being cool. The paradox is expressed as, "You don't become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool" Get it? You don't need more opinions, more influence... or to give more opinions and influence. Care-less (not careless). That can also be seen as some sort of dichotomy. You need to hold some opposites in you and express them to at least get some trust about your truth being true... And to get some trust at least from you, if not others. Pushing only one side makes you unbelievable, false, scary... some, alienated, detached, inconceivable. If you care about something that gave you huge trauma (and it is rather ok to care about it), you can also heal until the stage, where you don't care too. And until then it's healthy to just stay harmonious in each step until the goal where everything is solved and ok. It's about dichotomy, baby. I didn't mention all the other stages of healing here, of course: - denial. Never accept that you were traumatized in a particular area. - fight. Opening the wound and bouncing straight into the opposite of what traumatic experience made you identify with. Loads of high emotions and difficult states. People start projects, change countries, and names, leave their non-working relationships, break primitive barriers in this stage, and experience frequent black/white mood shifts. - grief. Feeling isolated, alone, detached, pushover, not self, faded, and on. Loads of time alone, scarcity. This stage might be a long-lasting one, especially because it's highly acceptable to be a victim these days, people are reliving the hurt they experienced because of trauma in this stage until it is enough to go to an easier state. - bargaining. Here people start to talk, measure, still split, and go back into a personal cocoon, and then return they aren't convinced to hold on to older hurt but are not so keen on just losing their pathological border yet, and so on. - enlightenment. People experience relief and awakening, peace and being whole again but. They drop what isn't theirs, they feel normal and ok and connect authentically. It's easy and warm to be around them. Very often people in denial will and ARE expressing enlightenment, in this way they justify their unwillingness to experience healing. Yep...IYKYK “The paradox of simplicity is that making things simpler is hard work." - Bill Jensen
0 Comments
I thought initially that this post would be repetitive about the grey rock method... and aimed straight toward people, who can't deal with simple and plain "no"... this is a serious issue because it causes loads and loads of problems and unnecessary drama if not worse than that. People ignore you, provoke you, accuse you... threaten you, suspect you... It's such a pathetic circus where whenever you turn you see a clown dealing with you as if you would be them... It's overwhelming... Nowhere to look so often, so often. But... I turned back to the person that I am... Since the old truth says that if everyone around seems to be a broken mirror, it must be it reflect yourself. So.... How to become someone, you dreamed of for so long and now you can't.. at least seemingly you can't and the only reason for it is pure fear and anxiety for novelty. There are several examples in the animal kingdom of metamorphosis when animals change their being into completely different shapes such as some insects like butterflies, dragonflies, bees, ants and so many others. Or some crabs :) reptiles also change their skin completely, although they remain in their initial shape. This isn't so new... We - people, have our becoming too and lose our old selves in the mystical past that we still can access mentally, and emotionally while remembering it. And certainly, we don't do it once in life... There are at least a few times we do that and never look back eventually :) or we do look back but later on and with some newly gained smile and peace in the heart. If people can experience hell or heaven while they live this life, they also can reincarnate from one another... You don't have to die for that to happen to each of us :) And just as animals we require additional measures of safety and security to complete such a metamorphosis... It takes time, an enormous amount of energy, and other resources just for that... and it usually goes without much help but rather much danger from outside. We are vulnerable, and we don't behave or seem like ourselves often... this confuses and makes others question our sanity or morals or whatever else too. Our usual social circle might not recognize us much... and it might be temporary or for long, depending on the situation. It isn't only a gain to dare to become, it's a loss as well... and after all new you mean a new world from within... when this process occurs it breaks you from within, and you often don't recognize either you or your view of your surroundings... You see your new eyes, you hear your new inner voice... they are so fragile and soft yet... or unusually sharp and therefore scary... and this novelty is still hiding and running from the signs of especially bit insecure people... Your heart doesn't know its compass very well yet... people drag it to love them, if they lack love... to respect them, if they lack that too. They accuse you of it while pretending to be virtuous themselves... as if they never changed or simply did it so long ago that this thing you do... seems like an insult of chosen stagnation compared to stability... You also recognize beauty and purity in people and fall for that... so often... with a wish to hold on to that... and incapability to stop in your process... It's so f***ing sad... my friend, so sad. And you know your old self will be slaughtered for you or by you... And you know, what kind of pain this is, pain and suffering... you know some stuff, and stuff you can not know yet frightens you even more.. just as all people experience turbulent anxiety towards novelty... Even if it's freeing... And that's why it is hard... Why is it essential? Because you may keep being stuck and happy... never lose stuff, never gain new you... but if you want to reach your dream... Your old self must die several times before you become someone who can ACTUALLY make your dreams come true, realistically, eventually, in an unstoppable and inevitable way. So... happiness is overrated... I am in the time and place of my life, where purpose and meaning are everything... and peace and happiness will come a bit later... Breathe in, close your eyes, let go, and jump towards your aim... as many times as it is required to make it. or... it's ok to die trying. There is always some time after reaching your dreams... to create a new dream. That it isn't an argument that "I won't have anything to reach after" :) funny but not an argument. Neither "you" nor "they" will be ever perfect... although we all are ideal still. somehow. Chill, go, rest, repeat, and enjoy
Recently few people showed me some words in which the prefix para' was replaced with meta- one ooor just what this meta- prefix can reveal to us. I was astounded by these 2: - metacognition & - metanoia Both words have their option with the prefix para-, accordingly, one would be spelled paracognition and the other paranoia. A little bit more about both. Metacognition - seems like this one means literally thinking about thinking, some sorta observation from of your own thinking process aside, not from inside. In this way, you could catch some patterns that aren't correct and later work on them. And dear reader, I hope you know, that we are most effective and fulfilled and happy so when we understand things in a way that is most near their objective reality. In this way we make fewer mistakes, we get up faster after a fall, and we are more flexible and gentle and strong and beautiful :) so on. So this tool - going out to observe your own mind's processes and patterns seems solid and valuable to have in your pocket and use from time to time. I made a few images for myself to better understand it. I haven't dug into this any deeper yet but you can also look up this document if you want some more expanded info: Google doc Paracognition has mostly to do with telepathy if I understood correctly. And then there is Metanoia... It was fascinating to understand, what this word means and holds within. First time I heard it on A.Arestovich's video, where he was answering questions from his followers. You can find some descriptions here or here. As a person, who had to deal with my own leaning to cluster A mess, I instantly recognized that this was the exact correct name for some experiences that I had after starting my first proper coaching process back in 2012. Mostly it was a strange experience because it was not only hard and messy but is scary and it really seemed like temporary insanity... What I found even stranger was that it always, and I mean ALWAYS had a positive outcome and I really felt like a new human being after it. Why this is important? I think it is important not to fear this... when you are in a proper genuine healing, growing process you will hit periods like metanoia and it is a very good idea to go through it. Especially if you were facing something really opposite before in your life and now hesitate to experience it again... You basically need to go through that barrier or stay stuck in life... "happy", "safe" and seriously stuck. In fewer words - you have to love the meta- prefix... seems like a really optimistic one. :) Well, paranoia means a feeling of persistent attention by others. In general, what importance there is in the words that we use :) I don't know if there is a lot to tell about the power of words, and how we use them with others and ourselves.
No one knows when language appeared among us...Might be it appeared with the first anatomically modern humans.. so it is earlier than fire or anything... Words can kill, and words can resurrect people from fatal illnesses, that's basically what psychotherapy is for... We share feelings and knowledge through our words, it might inspire and shame, it might lift or shatter your mood, it might brainwash or enlighten you so on... I am a speaker of words of affirmation as my primal love language, so believe me... I know the power of the word, the way you tell it, the worth and message it holds... the presents and parasites it may hold... it's magic and it's lead into a world of pure fantasy to create your future life to travel to... with a company or alone, if needed. You may not speak and be mysterious, you may speak everything like a radio and still be unreadable. You can do whatever with words and that is why it is so important. A few sentences can change your life without the ability to go back to who you were before knowing them. Please, be aware of what you bring with your words, and what magic you provide with them. Are your words harsh, powerful, and supporting your shattered backbone, are they humorous and tickling your numbed funny bone and later the heart :) or are they uplifting and crushing dark clouds upon you or within you just remind you of the existence of a wishbone to get back to your dreams again :)) After all: I will try to bring some little update-upgrade about health. First of all, I was literally blown away after watching a TV series called: Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones It is about various daily life habits that lead to longevity. So, what do you need to live long? Several things repeated in every blue zone on the planet: - diet filled with plants. The US blue zone is vegan, but other zones aren't. Italian zone was using quite a bit of a pastry and that isn't held as a healthy food but their whole pastry was based on sourdough, therefor it's quite different. Greece used wine and honey often, and again, these were made in a very old method, with no chemistry or quick fix, Greeks blue zonists are big in herbal teas too. Kosta Ricans and Japanese made loads of old recipes as well, not from shops or restaurants. - keep being physically active. Italian zone had very steap surroundings that made people keep fit by just walking, the Japan zone had this cultural interior design with no cushions, chairs so on, people squat a lot every day, the Costa Rica zone had people, who did loads of chores without technique, helped them to stay active. - close community, plenty of activities together, and care for each other. They played sports together in the US, they danced in Greece, they gardened in Japan, and so on. Siestas, dinner together, visits to the hospital. People gardened a lot, valued theirs loved ones the most. - having some strong underlying principles, philosophy, in some zones - even faith. Mostly it was communal beliefs like staying together and helping one another, some were practical: standing at the table while only 80% full to not overeat, doing your part that is required, and being grateful. That is what keeps people being motivated and looking forward. So these are principles that I got from this long time study, I think it's amazing. Not only because of probable longer life but these habits seem to bring happiness and certainty as well. Another thing I found myself over and over again is maybe the principle "Live and let live". Because, you know, each has their own perception of how to be healthy, how to live longest, and if to live long :) For me personally healthy means happy, so the aim here is about that... and then again, maybe happiness is overrated and people need just simply to be who they are. Maybe our illnesses are here to find someone, who is a match to take care of it. :)) Making us see it not as an obstacle but rather as a part of someone that we love and care for. Important part that makes them into a strong person, who has their own battles and fight the best way they can. Individuals are so important and have a right to make their own, unique choices, that is the only way to stay fit and free. No one is safe from making mistakes and learning from them. The thing is though.... it's a way of showing you care for someone, if you try to change their perspective, at least influence it, try to polish your arguments... try to feel deeper, to be patient with more and more imperfect parts of them. Try to take risks they point you to... try to take them in fully, not only parts you like but parts you literally fear and shiver and still put them in your field... bare them until you see, what's really up. Usually, they are simply unforgiven, clueless but willing to be seen as good and held dearly... or to be taken for proud and elegant rebels and be seated on the throne of treasures although you are at the anxiety level of blowing up every 3 seconds :D about how messy and weird they are. I am learning to team up and just be flexible more. There is a space in us where we can fit in more than we think and people can do more than they believe to :) It is often said about relationships: - the worst is to be alone and in bad relationships with yourself, it might be fatal... - the less evil is to be in a bad relationship with someone. it's a hard time and place to be. - good to be alone and in a good relationship with yourself though. That is actually a cool loner place :) and plenty of good times with some waves of strong longing for someone. - and the best is a good union with someone... That's where we all long to appear, some of us are lucky enough to be there already :) deep, sincere, simple, and safe time and place. So... how to appear on the number one stand and does it come easy? I just name all of the stages of the relational journey we all have to go through first of all (source):
I think this image illustrates it accurately (source)⬇️ Some people can't even enter the Power struggle stage fully, not to mention successfully going through it. It's where our masks and fancy dress-up fall off, it's where we after being convinced of mutual love/like start to be more open and show our less attractive or healthy side... It's the stage, where you might have thoughts like: "I was betrayed", lied to", "I never signed up for this", "This is a completely different person than the one that I met", "I was duped, bamboozled", "What a mess, unacceptable", "It's not meant for me". Ooor or it can be thoughts similar to: "Oh god, it's visible who I really am now, I will melt down and just disappear, silently", "Oh no, no one can realize that about me, I just will find someone else quickly not to experience this shame and pain", "This isn't me and this isn't love, I need another one", "No one will love and like me now... I was better off alone, what was I thinking, I'm not good enough", "I'm so flawed, almost defected, broken... Jesus... I need so much more time to prepare for this, I can't do this, I give up", "It can't be happening to me AGAIN, I'm leaving this so it will not get into the ugly as before", "NEVER AGAIN, what on earth I can't understand in these 2 words: never again... now I have to face this, I just... I won't". You know these? If you're still a bachelor or simply can't decide after 20+ attempts, I am sure, you know some of these thoughts. Yes, there are polyamorous or asexual people, sure, but the rest of us... So many struggle to appear as their real selves and accept the real selves of their loved ones too. We can't stop pleasing or being pleased. There are a few important mentions for those who are willing to take a chance and do it right though. - Stay open and try to hear and accept the needs and boundaries of your loved one. It might take a while, just keep going, that is enough. - Stay sincere and state your needs and boundaries And: - Never silence you or a loved one, that will 100% lead to disaster - Learn about your needs and boundaries if you need to and stay loyal to them. - If you feel/sense your needs/boundaries:
- If you see/know your expression of needs/boundaries isn't healthy, for example:
And that's it, mainly. The image below can illustrate/remind you how to manage your focus during the power struggle stage: And for a final encouraging word:
I hope you enjoyed this piece of info and will get on your own path to good relational health
You can find out more about attachments in my blog beginning here 🥊 Everybody knows that the higher income you get, the happier and more satisfied you feel but maybe not everyone knows that this stops happening after reaching a particular income. That is why I decided to write about this, might be useful to know that it's not true that only endless money makes people feel good, and that there are more nuances to that. The initial study on this topic was conducted by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton in 2010, both authors are Nobel prize winners, and you can find this study here. This study shows that there is a particular sum after which people don't get an emotional boost, in other words - after a particular sum emotions start to flatten. Researchers found that after $75,000 on average in the US (– roughly £50,000 then, in 2010) people don't feel more satisfaction/less negative emotions There is an assumption that emotions settle because after reaching a certain level of comfort, any excess no longer gives the same satisfaction, and the overall responsibility for managing money remains the same or even increases. This sum limit is different for each country and city, in more advanced countries and cities it's higher, and in less advanced lower. And yes, apparently a majority of people name similar sums in the same country aaaand the same city. Here are some examples of some countries statistically: I took this source because of the more realistic sums portrayed in it. There are other figurative, visual articles as well, for example - the Daily Mail one. Another important factor to name about finances and satisfaction is from Ramit Sethi - an American writer and self-proclaimed personal finance adviser. He is the author of several books, shows (on Netflix too), and so on. The main key in his teachings is not to be fearful of the financial systems that we have but rather to know them and use them for our benefit and our older days. And more than only that... He has an incredibly useful insight that every person is different and everyone needs another kind of "rich life" style. It's a simple idea: - John wants to travel and can't see the benefits of owning property, so his rich life is spending everything he can on journeys and cutting off everything possible on the property. He will maybe visit even most rich countries but he will never buy a flat or even a room. - Magda wants to create charities and feel rich by giving back to the community and she doesn't see value in clothing, fashion, and similar things. So she will create the most demanding charity project from time to time but might wear the same dress to represent her projects for 3 years in a row. It's because she sees her as rich in this and no other way EVER. Well, you got the idea, I think. It is about knowing yourself and letting yourself have anything you want the most and not being bothered by any norms to care about something you just don't value and see more as an obstacle. So, the main points I wanted to convey are: 1) Money gives satisfaction only up to a certain level of income. 2) It is useful to know your "Rich Life" style and stick to it.
This time I write about defense mechanisms they are plenty and could be called quite milder names for example: artistic and creative problem-solving. Usually, it's about people (all people), who just happen to not want to appear in the same situations that have caused them lots of distress and emotional discomfort. People say it gave me "bad feelings", "I felt bad" because of it so on, not that it had to be bad in general but...that's a different topic. So defense mechanisms are ways to somehow avoid and go around these problematic situations so as not to appear in a similar mental/emotional state again. People often have multiple defense mechanisms and they use them in some combinations. One example of a classification of such mechanisms can be this witchy-looking enneagram (not a pentagram :D You're safe, promise) So let's extrapolate a little about each and every one of these: 1. REACTION FORMATION – feeling one thing and expressing the opposite. 2. REPRESSION - suppressing “unacceptable” feelings and converting them into a more acceptable form of emotional energy 3. IDENTIFICATION - taking on a role so completely that we lose contact with who we are inside. 4. INTROJECTION - unconsciously incorporating the characteristics of a person or object into one’s own psyche. 5. ISOLATION - can be physical withdrawal from others, but also means staying in the head and withdrawing from one’s emotions. 6. PROJECTION - attributing inner concerns and fears to others and external situations. 7. RATIONALIZATION - staying in the head, explaining away or justifying feelings and behaviours to avoid pain or accepting responsibility. 8. DENIAL - the forceful re-directing of attention and feeling based on willfulness and control. 9. NARCOTIZATION - using food, drink, entertainment or repetitive patterns of thinking and doing to “put oneself to sleep”. P.S.: This exact classification is based on Nine Enneagram Personality Types and each type tends to use one most default, primary defence mechanism (source - here). Let's leave this personality type classification for future blog entries. More about nine enneagram personality types - here with a free test, if anyone fancy. This theory was developed out of Big Five personality traits (more in this blog entry) And a few words about classical, academic input of defence mechanisms: Several people developed different theories and classifications, the first of them was Anna Freud, daughter of Sigmund Freud, they both studied these mechanisms. Other people to mention: Otto F. Kernberg, George Eman Vaillant, and Robert Plutchik. Defence mechanisms were also grouped into some categories by several authors, I personally like George Eman Vaillant's four-level classification:
Let's get all artistic, shall we, and in a mature way preferably :) 🎨
Ok.. Without much hesitation let's go to the list of personal boundaries, ie. those things that should not be done or I shouldn't be provoked to do:
Ok... I think that's it for now. Long entry, but at least clear and detailed. I hope it will help someone to understand what you would like for yourself and what you really can't allow in the circle of your loved and closest ones... Building a kind of beacon ⛯ for those who aren't indifferent about people who are close to them and to whom they would like to be close to themselves. Important notes: - The mentioned genders/sexes vary in this entry mostly because of our brain/bodies being eternally just as complicated as the universe itself and you usually can't address the person as one solid piece of the one and only one thing. You can read more on this here or here, etc. ☯️☯️☯️ - You can look up my previous attempt to set personal boundaries in this entry - here. - If you tried to connect with me and accidentally calculated your answers to what I wrote here and got more than 50% (or didn't understand most of my entry), be a good pal and just direct your attempts for friendship towards someone more suitable. Best day wishes to anyone !!! 💐
This post will probably be repetitive and only with a simple change that happened over time due to experience, or maybe not necessarily so, but let's see what we'll get before judging. I want to write in my preferences (and personal boundaries in the next post) for a purely friendly relationship, and I mean not necessarily romantic, as I almost always did before. Maybe I wasn't conscious, maybe I was still succumbing to the initial chemistry there and the desire for heat, etc. Now I want some kind of calmer approach, to start calmly and not suddenly, although that suddenness doesn't seem to be a huge obstacle, but, well, it's often not very sober, super stormy, and the brain tries its best to somehow catch up, but still unsuccessfully, and when it gets to me finally, then even the heart is already convinced that "all of this is pure nonsense" :D and that's it... Or maybe the brain isn't so much late, but in the beginning, the voice of the mind is specifically silenced for sure... And so be it, but again it's good to have some landmarks for orientation. Cold, calm, controlled, peaceful guidance. Friend preferences: A person knows their areas of interest, and their goals in life and/or has come to terms with life's meaninglessness and feels comfortable because of it (well, this is the dilemma of free will, how much of everything is determined and how much is created by us). I want to know if our ways won't clash, so, please, don't confuse us both unnecessarily. +15% A person understands their preferences, boundaries, and desired/current lifestyle in a relationship (just for a simple compatibility check). For both genders: how much physical closeness is needed, how much communication is needed, whether it is possible to adapt to our differences, and whether sameness does not interfere. For women: Do you want a family or do other important goals conflict? +15% A person knows their most important values and wants to know you. :) +15% Knows or wants to know their attachment style and work on it if necessary (this is important for any relationship). Understand that the well-being of both people in a relationship is a matter for both. +15% A person is comfortable and safe both alone and in company with me, meaning: he/she is financially, emotionally more or less independent adult. +10% They have no serious bad habits, and if they have, they would like to or are already trying to give them up. They exercise, take care of nutrition, sleep, etc. +10% A person is not against psychology and LGBT people, they don't stick to either side in politics, and if they do, they aren't blindly hostile to the opposite side. Not hostile to believers/atheists. Just simply does not have an extremely critical black/white mindset. +5% A person knows or wants to know the love and apology languages of both so that communication and spending time together would be easier and more satisfying :) +5% They like to live more in the suburbs, away from the noise (I'm sensitive to noise and clutter). Not a sworn, adamant carnivore. +5% Likes to travel or doesn't mind me traveling, would like to live near or together.+ 5% Well... It's changed a lot... but now it will be clearer for both sexes because it's quite difficult to quickly catch up with all the escalation at the beginning of the meet-up otherwise :)) Here is a previous attempt at putting it together. So, it's not a problem if we don't end up at the top of the mountain, orange is also a color. Have you tried to write down your preferences, wishes, wants needs?? Can you verbalize them in your conversations, clearly and simply? Would you like to receive a similar list from someone else? Do you like clarity and honesty in communication in general? How many preferences should be "covered" to calmly go into a relationship and to hope it will grow into something, well, beautiful, enriching, and just fine? How fast would you want the person to share their answers? How long could you wait for their transparent attempts to check your compatibility? How much unconsciousness in this could you tolerate, since the majority are more or less unaware about this? PS: Aha!! If you accidentally calculated your answers to what I wrote here and got more than 50%, be a good dude and just :D message me. 😊 💚 As I mentioned, I will write the boundaries in another post, because I do not want to present a novella-length text to the modern person who has one and a half million things to do and cannot delve into another's affairs with the same attention. So, happy reading, and until next time! :P So, about the educational system and why those diplomas, qualifications, and courses are so important, the number of completed projects/clients, the number of organizations/events created, the number of books written... Groups, courses.. mentors, followers, and a whole lot more. All possible cultural, let's say, indicators of the success of a person, a specialist. Loads of questions appear: - How much time is needed just to prove your qualification and the possibility for at least some people to trust you as a specialist? - Is it really true that after so many indicators confirming success and reliability, people will really choose you, and not necessarily a person who hasn't that much, but who, let's say, is simply younger or simply does not care so much about those officially accepted achievements, but purely about the results of his real work and the people with whom he has to work? - Where is the line or the healthy balance between that internal drive and fire and that, shall we say, more external evaluation and recognition (which is not necessarily only external)? There are still a lot of related questions too, for example: - Why people are so inclined to swear by everything possible that their relationships are and SHOULD BE based only on that inner cry, feeling, fire, etc., when in the meantime when choosing a specialist, they will DEFINITELY and WITHOUT A DOUBT choose something with external evidence, signs of success. - Where does that divide come from and is it healthy at all, even if it's normal because it really is very common and normalized...anyone who has their own preferences, and boundaries, and knows exactly what can and can't work in a relationship is considered something of an ufo, abnormal, just like someone who works and is very successful without special diplomas, countless courses, organizations, etc. well, but let's go back to the building own professional image. Again, I probably won't turn out to be very popular, and hopefully, I won't give in to the desire to run after "likes", although this is by no means a bad thing, to have an audience that cares about what you do and what you share, we are already terribly separated from each other the other due to all kinds of traumas and the hard-to-understand cultural norms, for example, exalted independence and individualism... (again, for example in the healing period or therapy, such a period is inevitable). But I hope, at the same time, there will not be a particularly cold and rationalized presentation, which completely cripples the message being transmitted, because even AI is being tried to be made socially acceptable and "emotional" :D Our good, growing, and nurturing relationships with each other are impossible to erase and we must have true cultural norms and boundaries, according to which we could navigate when choosing those specialists that we cannot be ourselves, although such jobs are sometimes simply necessary in our every day, etc. And how much attention is there to time too... - you won't have time, - it's too late, - there are other areas of life: you want to create something alike a family, possibly, you want to travel, see the world, you want to deal with traumatic experiences, you want to push on physical health, and maybe even strongly, you want a house, just want to go and develop that or this hobby. - How much time do you have to make sure you look like a reliable specialist and also not lose or forget your inner fire, take care of your passion, purify it, ensuring it burns and develops, even if without great official formalities? Everything has its price, time = money... and how often there just simply aren't enough hours in one day. - Will we be able to reconcile things... maybe there will just be times when the fire will be left to fend for itself... And is that an entirely bad thing? etc. I think it's really necessary to have your eyes on both spots somewhat, if you really want to be a specialist who is not only good because he's, well, a little crazy about what he does and what his fire is, but also has that officially recognized baggage, so that his work is recognized and available to those who may need it most. Spots that feed each other and complement each other as well. If you are a complete outsider with considerable talent and quite a workload, but which, let's say, can not necessarily impress others, then such a situation can gradually turn into self-sabotage, because simply, why follow a path that is fine and necessary only for you and your inner self social circle? After all, this is more the image of a hobby than a profession... And again, if you are not passionate about what you do, what you study, volunteering for some organizations, etc... Well, maybe you chose it because of direct/indirect family pressure, or maybe you chose it because it was considered a popular wave of that time, maybe because of money, because of an image, to be among ok people and something else... It can simply die out, get exhausted, if it doesn't lead to the growth of that liked related thing, for example - money... or social recognition among colleagues, or your family will not be satisfied either way. Well, in other words, the thing that your chosen profession guarantees, it will not grow or grow temporarily or not so impressively. To be honest, I don't know when there is no passion, and the profession is based on a different foundation, if that choice will last, but I am convinced that such a specialist is often a completely frozen landscape, which is based on pure intelligence alone, not emotions... and we all are emotional creatures basically, well, just because of that trauma alone, even if you understand it intellectually, it doesn't heal at all, and it's because nothing changes on an emotional level. But then again, to expect that only emotions/passions will lead to reaching professional ambitions and drives... well, that's not the attitude of a sober or mature person... or say, although the story of Don Quixote is romantic enough, maybe it's just a bit painful too.
P.s.: anyway the best diploma of my life is for endurance and sportsmanship, when I finished the distance with a broken ski while falling behind everyone by a good few hundred meters... 🏅 well, apart from all the annual ones for good studying, loads of them.
|
This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes. Archives
May 2024
Categories
All
|