Path of self discovery

This one is about paradox and dichotomy.

PARA comes from the Latin “Distinct from” and DOX means “our opinion”. The word paradox is literally “Distinct from our opinion”. So everyone who says don't ever pay attention to what others think about you, simply says you to be a paradoxical one :D There are many types of paradox and in general, it's a very interesting thing.

Simply put you have to break through the barrier of fear and anxiety that trauma creates in some area of your life. An example can be a gender phenomenon for trans people, you have to care about it until the point where you already don't... Only then you are ok with it... I will describe this in the Greezer paradox later on. It's just firstly I wanted to pay my duty to the paradox itself... As something unexpected and strange. 

Some things don't rely on our opinions. It's good to have them, it's just... not always that they count so much. Criticizing and censoring doesn't count at all, that only stops you from getting desirable freedom, it doesn't matter if you criticize, censor yourself, or others... you demand it from others or you experience the need to share this :D rather a trash (than a treasure) with them... as if there wouldn't be anything better to share. It is a lose/lose situation you want to keep yourself, and others in.. or be maintained by others or keep them in it. And only breaking out of this circle that is supposed to bring you that peace and happiness... will make it true. OUT OF THE OPINION... beyond it.

Ok, now... a simple example is called the Geezers paradox: the idea that people don't become cooler with age, but instead care less about being cool. The paradox is expressed as, "You don't become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool"

Get it? You don't need more opinions, more influence... or to give more opinions and influence. Care-less (not careless). That can also be seen as some sort of dichotomy. You need to hold some opposites in you and express them to at least get some trust about your truth being true... And to get some trust at least from you, if not others. Pushing only one side makes you unbelievable, false, scary... some, alienated, detached, inconceivable. If you care about something that gave you huge trauma (and it is rather ok to care about it), you can also heal until the stage, where you don't care too. And until then it's healthy to just stay harmonious in each step until the goal where everything is solved and ok. It's about dichotomy, baby. 

I didn't mention all the other stages of healing here, of course:
- denial. Never accept that you were traumatized in a particular area.
- fight. Opening the wound and bouncing straight into the opposite of what traumatic experience made you identify with. Loads of high emotions and difficult states. People start projects, change countries, and names, leave their non-working relationships, break primitive barriers in this stage, and experience frequent black/white mood shifts. 
- grief. Feeling isolated, alone, detached, pushover, not self, faded, and on. Loads of time alone, scarcity. This stage might be a long-lasting one, especially because it's highly acceptable to be a victim these days, people are reliving the hurt they experienced because of trauma in this stage until it is enough to go to an easier state.
- bargaining. Here people start to talk, measure, still split, and go back into a personal cocoon, and then return they aren't convinced to hold on to older hurt but are not so keen on just losing their pathological border yet, and so on.
- enlightenment. People experience relief and awakening, peace and being whole again but. They drop what isn't theirs, they feel normal and ok and connect authentically. It's easy and warm to be around them.
Very often people in denial will and ARE expressing enlightenment, in this way they justify their unwillingness to experience healing. 
​
Yep...IYKYK 
“The paradox of simplicity is that making things simpler is hard work." - Bill Jensen

And just as animals we require additional measures of safety and security to complete such a metamorphosis... It takes time, an enormous amount of energy, and other resources just for that... and it usually goes without much help but rather much danger from outside. We are vulnerable, and we don't behave or seem like ourselves often... this confuses and makes others question our sanity or morals or whatever else too. Our usual social circle might not recognize us much... and it might be temporary or for long, depending on the situation. It isn't only a gain to dare to become, it's a loss as well... and after all new you mean a new world from within... when this process occurs it breaks you from within, and you often don't recognize either you or your view of your surroundings... You see your new eyes, you hear your new inner voice... they are so fragile and soft yet... or unusually sharp and therefore scary... and this novelty is still hiding and running from the signs of especially bit insecure people... Your heart doesn't know its compass very well yet... people drag it to love them, if they lack love... to respect them, if they lack that too. They accuse you of it while pretending to be virtuous themselves... as if they never changed or simply did it so long ago that this thing you do... seems like an insult of chosen stagnation compared to stability... You also recognize beauty and purity in people and fall for that... so often... with a wish to hold on to that... and incapability to stop in your process... It's so f***ing sad... my friend, so sad.
And you know your old self will be slaughtered for you or by you... And you know, what kind of pain this is, pain and suffering... you know some stuff, and stuff you can not know yet frightens you even more.. just as all people experience turbulent anxiety towards novelty... Even if it's freeing... 
And that's why it is hard...
Why is it essential? Because you may keep being stuck and happy... never lose stuff, never gain new you... but if you want to reach your dream... Your old self must die several times before you become someone who can ACTUALLY make your dreams come true, realistically, eventually, in an unstoppable and inevitable way. So... happiness is overrated... I am in the time and place of my life, where purpose and meaning are everything... and peace and happiness will come a bit later... Breathe in, close your eyes, let go, and jump towards your aim... as many times as it is required to make it. or... it's ok to die trying. 

There is always some time after reaching your dreams... to create a new dream. That it isn't an argument that "I won't have anything to reach after" :) funny but not an argument. 
Neither "you" nor "they" will be ever perfect... although we all are ideal still. somehow. Chill, go, rest,  repeat, and enjoy ​

Recently few people showed me some words in which the prefix para' was replaced with meta- one ooor just what this meta- prefix can reveal to us. I was astounded by these 2:
- metacognition
&
- metanoia
Both words have their option with the prefix para-, accordingly, one would be spelled paracognition and the other paranoia. A little bit more about both.
Metacognition - seems like this one means literally thinking about thinking, some sorta observation from of your own thinking process aside, not from inside. In this way, you could catch some patterns that aren't correct and later work on them. And dear reader, I hope you know, that we are most effective and fulfilled and happy so when we understand things in a way that is most near their objective reality. In this way we make fewer mistakes, we get up faster after a fall, and we are more flexible and gentle and strong and beautiful :) so on. So this tool - going out to observe your own mind's processes and patterns seems solid and valuable to have in your pocket and use from time to time. I made a few images for myself to better understand it.

I haven't dug into this any deeper yet but you can also look up this document if you want some more expanded info: Google doc
Paracognition has mostly to do with telepathy if I understood correctly.

And then there is Metanoia... It was fascinating to understand, what this word means and holds within. First time I heard it on A.Arestovich's video, where he was answering questions from his followers. You can find some descriptions here or here.
As a person, who had to deal with my own leaning to cluster A mess, I instantly recognized that this was the exact correct name for some experiences that I had after starting my first proper coaching process back in 2012. Mostly it was a strange experience because it was not only hard and messy but is scary and it really seemed like temporary insanity... What I found even stranger was that it always, and I mean ALWAYS had a positive outcome and I really felt like a new human being after it.
Why this is important? I think it is important not to fear this... when you are in a proper genuine healing, growing process you will hit periods like metanoia and it is a very good idea to go through it. Especially if you were facing something really opposite before in your life and now hesitate to experience it again... You basically need to go through that barrier or stay stuck in life... "happy", "safe" and seriously stuck.
In fewer words - you have to love the meta- prefix... seems like a really optimistic one. :)
Well, paranoia means a feeling of persistent attention by others.

I will try to bring some little update-upgrade about health. 
First of all, I was literally blown away after watching a TV series called:
Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones

It is about various daily life habits that lead to longevity. So, what do you need to live long? Several things repeated in every blue zone on the planet:
- diet filled with plants. The US blue zone is vegan, but other zones aren't. Italian zone was using quite a bit of a pastry and that isn't held as a healthy food but their whole pastry was based on sourdough, therefor it's quite different. Greece used wine and honey often, and again, these were made in a very old method, with no chemistry or quick fix, Greeks blue zonists are big in herbal teas too. Kosta Ricans and Japanese made loads of old recipes as well, not from shops or restaurants. 
- keep being physically active. Italian zone had very steap surroundings that made people keep fit by just walking, the Japan zone had this cultural interior design with no cushions, chairs so on, people squat a lot every day, the Costa Rica zone had people, who did loads of chores without technique, helped them to stay active. 
- close community, plenty of activities together, and care for each other. They played sports together in the US, they danced in Greece, they gardened in Japan, and so on. Siestas, dinner together, visits to the hospital. People gardened a lot, valued theirs loved ones the most.
- having some strong underlying principles, philosophy, in some zones - even faith. Mostly it was communal beliefs like staying together and helping one another, some were practical: standing at the table while only 80% full to not overeat, doing your part that is required, and being grateful. That is what keeps people being motivated and looking forward.

So these are principles that I got from this long time study, I think it's amazing. Not only because of probable longer life but these habits seem to bring happiness and certainty as well. 

It is often said about relationships:
- the worst is to be alone and in bad relationships with yourself, it might be fatal...
- the less evil is to be in a bad relationship with someone. it's a hard time and place to be.
- good to be alone and in a good relationship with yourself though. That is actually a cool loner place :) and plenty of good times with some waves of strong longing for someone. 
- and the best is a good union with someone... That's where we all long to appear, some of us are lucky enough to be there already :) deep, sincere, simple, and safe time and place.
So... how to appear on the number one stand and does it come easy? I just name all of the stages of the relational journey we all have to go through first of all (source):

1. Dating
2. Honeymoon
3. Power struggle
4. Stability
5. Commitment
6. Bliss

Quite a lot of people usually get 3 first stages and then it's over, the crucial part for many is exactly the 3rd one - Power struggle. 
I think this image illustrates it accurately (source)⬇️

Everybody knows that the higher income you get, the happier and more satisfied you feel but maybe not everyone knows that this stops happening after reaching a particular income. That is why I decided to write about this, might be useful to know that it's not true that only endless money makes people feel good, and that there are more nuances to that.
The initial study on this topic was conducted by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton in 2010, both authors are Nobel prize winners, and you can find this study here. This study shows that there is a particular sum after which people don't get an emotional boost, in other words - after a particular sum emotions start to flatten. Researchers found that after $75,000 on average in the US (– roughly £50,000 then, in 2010) people don't feel more satisfaction/less negative emotions There is an assumption that emotions settle because after reaching a certain level of comfort, any excess no longer gives the same satisfaction, and the overall responsibility for managing money remains the same or even increases.
This sum limit is different for each country and city, in more advanced countries and cities it's higher, and in less advanced lower. And yes, apparently a majority of people name similar sums in the same country aaaand the same city. Here are some examples of some countries statistically:

Another important factor to name about finances and satisfaction is from Ramit Sethi - an American writer and self-proclaimed personal finance adviser. He is the author of several books, shows (on Netflix too), and so on. 
The main key in his teachings is not to be fearful of the financial systems that we have but rather to know them and use them for our benefit and our older days. And more than only that... He has an incredibly useful insight that every person is different and everyone needs another kind of "rich life" style. It's a simple idea:
- John wants to travel and can't see the benefits of owning property, so his rich life is spending everything he can on journeys and cutting off everything possible on the property. He will maybe visit even most rich countries but he will never buy a flat or even a room.
- Magda wants to create charities and feel rich by giving back to the community and she doesn't see value in clothing, fashion, and similar things. So she will create the most demanding charity project from time to time but might wear the same dress to represent her projects for 3 years in a row. It's because she sees her as rich in this and no other way EVER.
Well, you got the idea, I think. It is about knowing yourself and letting yourself have anything you want the most and not being bothered by any norms to care about something you just don't value and see more as an obstacle.

Let's get all artistic, shall we, and in a mature way preferably ​ :) 🎨

Ok..  Without much hesitation let's go to the list of personal boundaries, ie. those things that should not be done or I shouldn't be provoked to do:

• Ghosting -10%. I completely and utterly do not like blocks and disappearings without any comments or taking the situation and twisting it towards some angle, which somehow guarantees the possibility or even need of blocking, and disappearing. Or - alternatively, if both of us in the relationship have been acting impulsively and emotionally, reactively and without big predictions for n years... Then it is allowed for both of us and both of us must remain blameless, not ashamed of it, because otherwise the relationship will not last. But it's best not to do it at all, or if it happens, it is supposed to be temporary... Because everything happens to everyone, but I need at least something... something to know that the person hasn't left, any kind of consensual message, or some note through others or any other sign, no matter how meaningless and incomprehensible :D
• Distancing -10%. I need a person to communicate with me, not only in private and not only in public, but not to be afraid to flirt together in public or on the Internet or live, and also to be able to spend time together freely, if that is the case. I don't see any need to be dragged to someone's personal space only, for their own needs, like some kind of animal, or that the other person I am attracted to should be kept in the role of such a creature, and I don't see any need to stay in the place of some drooling fan or ideal, almost god alike on a pedestal. I kind of dislike extremes... Unless shortly for thrills. 
• Immaturity -10%. Well, it is hard to have a person with a disability, including financial...emotional as well. Well, you want maturity, I understand that it is very difficult for almost everyone, we are all lame in some way, and sometimes even blind. It's just that safety in the relationship is important... And you really rely on the fact that both separately and together won't fail and will be just fine. That everything will be fine...and it is so at this moment too. And maybe it's even more desirable that the traumas of the two of us and results of these traumas simply match, and not cross, because an ideally independent person is not healthy, in reality... it smells like counter-dependency - where a person is sooooo independent that he/she needs another person to depend on them. You don't want that. 
• Manipulation -15%. Well, the truth is that women have learned this because it's the best tool for defense and getting what they need without much fighting (with men)... But in a relationship, it's unreliable, intolerable, and provokes behavior that no one involved wants to remember later, not at all... And we, most probably, all had similar women as guardians growing up, so I suggest that anyone is okay to pay attention to this, not necessarily only women. Also, gaslighting is an even more sophisticated and cruel version to manipulate. It works, but for a short time and with painful consequences... It's better not to do it... Trust, and faith in each other help here.
• Dissociation -15%. Separateness, even when physically being together. What you don't want is to sit in a room and feel like you're alone in it, with no connection, no love, no togetherness. That's not acceptable. You're not a thing, I'm not a thing, we connect, we need connection and it really doesn't have to be super physical, although hugs or slaps on the shoulder are always good C: It's so much simpler and easier... with some awareness a connection seems much more pleasant than just a social obligation that kinda seems to be imposed on you C: Well... By the way, complete detachment and even a kind of loss of self is a complete horror, when your comrade seems to be attacked by some non-existent enemies who most likely just came down from the chimney... Well, or you suddenly become that enemy for him, and that "enemy" needs to be neutralized by any means or at least distanced from it. And well.. this is not a hospital, and neither you nor we are patients... Also if I eternally need to play a patient so that you feel valuable, oh the saint doctor, an eternal benefactor... well. Maybe then you need to exercise some or something because that much stressful bond is definitely not going to do any good for either of you. In other words, this circus is not necessarily acceptable.
• Infidelities -20%. Of course, both physical and emotional infidelity are indelibly painful and hardly forgiven unless both parties are willing to take responsibility for their contribution to such events... Whoever is unfaithful needs to learn self-discipline for firmness of good behavior with a close one. And the one with whom someone was unfaithful should take responsibility for establishing a firmness of good behavior with him/herself. That is a fact with women for me...I'm not clear here yet about emotional infidelity though. Anyway, emotional betrayal is no easier than physical betrayal, I think so at this point. Just as everyone wants to know whose offspring the child really is, they also want to know if a person won't disappear one day without saying a word to raise that child. So, let's talk, let's say what's wrong before it explodes or we will start looking for shelter in another heart, let's listen, and explain until we understand each other... accept one another's reality, and then we'll slowly find a way out. Sometimes a beautiful breakup or a change of relationship status (for example, from friendship to acquaintances) is also a way out, much better than silent disappearance or an avalanche of conflicts... a wall of silence, even if you stay together, or the getting rid of relational "shit" outside the relationship or even on own children.
• Inequality -20%. I'd like to have fun with a friend, not be too serious or have a painful relationship that I'd rather avoid than be around... where there's some kind of minefield.. impenetrable rooms, labyrinths... inaccessibility, playing a star, not being able to get close because after all, the gentleman connects only with his equals, and you are not equal... I want honesty, not being led like a donkey somewhere behind a carrot... I like equality in a relationship, I consider the formation of a different dynamic a betrayal. And I don't want to do everything alone also... I want a safe person who sees this in me too... so that we both grow safety for each other and for oneself at the same time... if I see that I work too much or the other does way more than I can, it oppresses me... I want there to be a sharing of work, roles, load, and responsibility... also without cheating and forever putting themselves in the position of the winner... and without that desire to put me on the throne of some king, I have nothing against sitting on it for a while, if I deserved it, but not for the reason to be milked all the time... I am inclined to give anyway, so just wait and you will get some :)... and it's even worse when they're milking, but they pretend that hint that I also have to pretend that it's not happening... in other words, all the milkmen - OUT. And cows too... It's not a barn, we can both help and accept help, you just have to try to find a suitable exchange partner for it... otherwise, no one survives. And that's it. Failure to accept the exchange mutually benefits, to the extent that it exists in the capacity of each person... is to me a betrayal of the principles of friendship. This is not friendship then, but some kind of perversion.

Ok... I think that's it for now. Long entry, but at least clear and detailed. I hope it will help someone to understand what you would like for yourself and what you really can't allow in the circle of your loved and closest ones... Building a kind of beacon ⛯ for those who aren't indifferent about people who are close to them and to whom they would like to be close to themselves.

Important notes:
- The mentioned genders/sexes vary in this entry mostly because of our brain/bodies being eternally just as complicated as the universe itself and you usually can't address the person as one solid piece of the one and only one thing. You can read more on this here or here, etc. ☯️☯️☯️
- You can look up my previous attempt to set personal boundaries in this entry - here.
- If you tried to connect with me and accidentally calculated your answers to what I wrote here and got more than 50% (or didn't understand most of my entry), be a good pal and just direct your attempts for friendship towards someone more suitable.

Best day wishes to anyone !!! ​💐

This post will probably be repetitive and only with a simple change that happened over time due to experience, or maybe not necessarily so, but let's see what we'll get before judging.
I want to write in my preferences (and personal boundaries in the next post) for a purely friendly relationship, and I mean not necessarily romantic, as I almost always did before. Maybe I wasn't conscious, maybe I was still succumbing to the initial chemistry there and the desire for heat, etc. Now I want some kind of calmer approach, to start calmly and not suddenly, although that suddenness doesn't seem to be a huge obstacle, but, well, it's often not very sober, super stormy, and the brain tries its best to somehow catch up, but still unsuccessfully, and when it gets to me finally, then even the heart is already convinced that "all of this is pure nonsense" :D and that's it... Or maybe the brain isn't so much late, but in the beginning, the voice of the mind is specifically silenced for sure... And so be it, but again it's good to have some landmarks for orientation. Cold, calm, controlled, peaceful guidance.
Friend preferences: 
A person knows their areas of interest, and their goals in life and/or has come to terms with life's meaninglessness and feels comfortable because of it (well, this is the dilemma of free will, how much of everything is determined and how much is created by us). I want to know if our ways won't clash, so, please, don't confuse us both unnecessarily. +15%
A person understands their preferences, boundaries, and desired/current lifestyle in a relationship (just for a simple compatibility check). For both genders: how much physical closeness is needed, how much communication is needed, whether it is possible to adapt to our differences, and whether sameness does not interfere. For women: Do you want a family or do other important goals conflict? +15%
A person knows their most important values ​​and wants to know you. :) +15%
Knows or wants to know their attachment style and work on it if necessary (this is important for any relationship). Understand that the well-being of both people in a relationship is a matter for both. +15%
A person is comfortable and safe both alone and in company with me, meaning: he/she is financially, emotionally more or less independent adult. +10%
They have no serious bad habits, and if they have, they would like to or are already trying to give them up. They exercise, take care of nutrition, sleep, etc. +10%
A person is not against psychology and LGBT people, they don't stick to either side in politics, and if they do, they aren't blindly hostile to the opposite side. Not hostile to believers/atheists. Just simply does not have an extremely critical black/white mindset. +5%
A person knows or wants to know the love and apology languages ​​of both so that communication and spending time together would be easier and more satisfying :) +5%
They like to live more in the suburbs, away from the noise (I'm sensitive to noise and clutter). Not a sworn, adamant carnivore. +5%
Likes to travel or doesn't mind me traveling, would like to live near or together.​+ 5%

Well... It's changed a lot... but now it will be clearer for both sexes because it's quite difficult to quickly catch up with all the escalation at the beginning of the meet-up otherwise :)) Here is a previous attempt at putting it together. So, it's not a problem if we don't end up at the top of the mountain, orange is also a color.

Have you tried to write down your preferences, wishes, wants needs?? Can you verbalize them in your conversations, clearly and simply? Would you like to receive a similar list from someone else? Do you like clarity and honesty in communication in general? How many preferences should be "covered" to calmly go into a relationship and to hope it will grow into something, well, beautiful, enriching, and just fine? How fast would you want the person to share their answers? How long could you wait for their transparent attempts to check your compatibility? How much unconsciousness in this could you tolerate, since the majority are more or less unaware about this? 

PS: Aha!! If you accidentally calculated your answers to what I wrote here and got more than 50%, be a good dude and just :D message me. 😊 💚

So, about the educational system and why those diplomas, qualifications, and courses are so important, the number of completed projects/clients, the number of organizations/events created, the number of books written... Groups, courses.. mentors, followers, and a whole lot more. All possible cultural, let's say, indicators of the success of a person, a specialist.
Loads of questions appear: 
- How much time is needed just to prove your qualification and the possibility for at least some people to trust you as a specialist?
​- Is it really true that after so many indicators confirming success and reliability, people will really choose you, and not necessarily a person who hasn't that much, but who, let's say, is simply younger or simply does not care so much about those officially accepted achievements, but purely about the results of his real work and the people with whom he has to work?
- Where is the line or the healthy balance between that internal drive and fire and that, shall we say, more external evaluation and recognition (which is not necessarily only external)?
There are still a lot of related questions too, for example:
- Why people are so inclined to swear by everything possible that their relationships are and SHOULD BE based only on that inner cry, feeling, fire, etc., when in the meantime when choosing a specialist, they will DEFINITELY and WITHOUT A DOUBT choose something with external evidence, signs of success.
- Where does that divide come from and is it healthy at all, even if it's normal because it really is very common and normalized...anyone who has their own preferences, and boundaries, and knows exactly what can and can't work in a relationship is considered something of an ufo, abnormal, just like someone who works and is very successful without special diplomas, countless courses, organizations, etc. well, but let's go back to the building own professional image.
Again, I probably won't turn out to be very popular, and hopefully, I won't give in to the desire to run after "likes", although this is by no means a bad thing, to have an audience that cares about what you do and what you share, we are already terribly separated from each other the other due to all kinds of traumas and the hard-to-understand cultural norms, for example, exalted independence and individualism... (again, for example in the healing period or therapy, such a period is inevitable). But I hope, at the same time, there will not be a particularly cold and rationalized presentation, which completely cripples the message being transmitted, because even AI is being tried to be made socially acceptable and "emotional" :D Our good, growing, and nurturing relationships with each other are impossible to erase and we must have true cultural norms and boundaries, according to which we could navigate when choosing those specialists that we cannot be ourselves, although such jobs are sometimes simply necessary in our every day, etc.

And how much attention is there to time too...
- you won't have time,
- it's too late,
- there are other areas of life: you want to create something alike a family, possibly, you want to travel, see the world, you want to deal with traumatic experiences, you want to push on physical health, and maybe even strongly, you want a house, just want to go and develop that or this hobby.
- How much time do you have to make sure you look like a reliable specialist and also not lose or forget your inner fire, take care of your passion, purify it, ensuring it burns and develops, even if without great official formalities? Everything has its price, time = money... and how often there just simply aren't enough hours in one day.
- Will we be able to reconcile things... maybe there will just be times when the fire will be left to fend for itself... And is that an entirely bad thing? etc.

I think it's really necessary to have your eyes on both spots somewhat, if you really want to be a specialist who is not only good because he's, well, a little crazy about what he does and what his fire is, but also has that officially recognized baggage, so that his work is recognized and available to those who may need it most. Spots that feed each other and complement each other as well. If you are a complete outsider with considerable talent and quite a workload, but which, let's say, can not necessarily impress others, then such a situation can gradually turn into self-sabotage, because simply, why follow a path that is fine and necessary only for you and your inner self social circle? After all, this is more the image of a hobby than a profession... And again, if you are not passionate about what you do, what you study, volunteering for some organizations, etc... Well, maybe you chose it because of direct/indirect family pressure, or maybe you chose it because it was considered a popular wave of that time, maybe because of money, because of an image, to be among ok people and something else... It can simply die out, get exhausted, if it doesn't lead to the growth of that liked related thing, for example - money... or social recognition among colleagues, or your family will not be satisfied either way. Well, in other words, the thing that your chosen profession guarantees, it will not grow or grow temporarily or not so impressively. To be honest, I don't know when there is no passion, and the profession is based on a different foundation, if that choice will last, but I am convinced that such a specialist is often a completely frozen landscape, which is based on pure intelligence alone, not emotions... and we all are emotional creatures basically, well, just because of that trauma alone, even if you understand it intellectually, it doesn't heal at all, and it's because nothing changes on an emotional level. But then again, to expect that only emotions/passions will lead to reaching professional ambitions and drives... well, that's not the attitude of a sober or mature person... or say, although the story of Don Quixote is romantic enough, maybe it's just a bit painful too.

P.s.: anyway the best diploma of my life is for endurance and sportsmanship, when I finished the distance with a broken ski while falling behind everyone by a good few hundred meters... 🏅 well, apart from all the annual ones for good studying, loads of them.