Paradoxical dichotomy

This one is about paradox and dichotomy.

PARA comes from the Latin “Distinct from” and DOX means “our opinion”. The word paradox is literally “Distinct from our opinion”. So everyone who says don't ever pay attention to what others think about you, simply says you to be a paradoxical one :D There are many types of paradox and in general, it's a very interesting thing.

Simply put you have to break through the barrier of fear and anxiety that trauma creates in some area of your life. An example can be a gender phenomenon for trans people, you have to care about it until the point where you already don't... Only then you are ok with it... I will describe this in the Greezer paradox later on. It's just firstly I wanted to pay my duty to the paradox itself... As something unexpected and strange. 

Some things don't rely on our opinions. It's good to have them, it's just... not always that they count so much. Criticizing and censoring doesn't count at all, that only stops you from getting desirable freedom, it doesn't matter if you criticize, censor yourself, or others... you demand it from others or you experience the need to share this :D rather a trash (than a treasure) with them... as if there wouldn't be anything better to share. It is a lose/lose situation you want to keep yourself, and others in.. or be maintained by others or keep them in it. And only breaking out of this circle that is supposed to bring you that peace and happiness... will make it true. OUT OF THE OPINION... beyond it.

Ok, now... a simple example is called the Geezers paradox: the idea that people don't become cooler with age, but instead care less about being cool. The paradox is expressed as, "You don't become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool"

Get it? You don't need more opinions, more influence... or to give more opinions and influence. Care-less (not careless). That can also be seen as some sort of dichotomy. You need to hold some opposites in you and express them to at least get some trust about your truth being true... And to get some trust at least from you, if not others. Pushing only one side makes you unbelievable, false, scary... some, alienated, detached, inconceivable. If you care about something that gave you huge trauma (and it is rather ok to care about it), you can also heal until the stage, where you don't care too. And until then it's healthy to just stay harmonious in each step until the goal where everything is solved and ok. It's about dichotomy, baby. 

I didn't mention all the other stages of healing here, of course:
- denial. Never accept that you were traumatized in a particular area.
- fight. Opening the wound and bouncing straight into the opposite of what traumatic experience made you identify with. Loads of high emotions and difficult states. People start projects, change countries, and names, leave their non-working relationships, break primitive barriers in this stage, and experience frequent black/white mood shifts. 
- grief. Feeling isolated, alone, detached, pushover, not self, faded, and on. Loads of time alone, scarcity. This stage might be a long-lasting one, especially because it's highly acceptable to be a victim these days, people are reliving the hurt they experienced because of trauma in this stage until it is enough to go to an easier state.
- bargaining. Here people start to talk, measure, still split, and go back into a personal cocoon, and then return they aren't convinced to hold on to older hurt but are not so keen on just losing their pathological border yet, and so on.
- enlightenment. People experience relief and awakening, peace and being whole again but. They drop what isn't theirs, they feel normal and ok and connect authentically. It's easy and warm to be around them.
Very often people in denial will and ARE expressing enlightenment, in this way they justify their unwillingness to experience healing. 
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Yep...IYKYK 
“The paradox of simplicity is that making things simpler is hard work." - Bill Jensen