So.... after finishing adventures of black sheep and a scapegoat (or at least it's some shorter or longer time pause for now)... I want to talk about boundaries. Previously in the first (after a few year pause) spontaneous blog entry about relationships I wrote on needs and preferences in bonding, everyone could have their preferences verbalized just to be more clear, about what they are looking for and what would be surely a way to a good connection. So now... I have a strong need to go for boundaries... This is somewhat, maybe an opposite thing but mostly is about the same... Needs are about, what you want and boundaries are about, what you don't want. Because some things, if they are crossed, people can be hurt in ways that are either not repairable or it would take a super long time and super heavy efforts, so sometimes it's just better to let go... And most of all it is also better to be aware, you have those boundaries and even more better 🙌 - to verbalize them. Just my opinion but I think these things could ease so much of the burden and misunderstandings that relationships bare within... They evoke our bond with our parents: every tiny traumatic experience will let you know, how fcked up you and your wounds are... not to mention, that your partner/friend will have that precious opening and hurt all the way too... so you can't turn somewhere much, this all is your to care and to heal and to verbalize it. So.... less fog (even, if it's pink and rosy :D) and confusion - at the start, the better outcome - in the longer run. That's the recipe I try to write down here, take it or not - up to you.
Here are my own rough, raw put boundaries... I'm fully aware we all meet wonderful people and it's no end to it until we are alive. Still... if the connection with my partner is real and mature enough, meeting walking wonders ✨ can make some temporary soul wondering, maybe even body rush but... it's never serious or not serious enough and eventually, it becomes something else: a lesson, a friendship, a working project, a joy of meeting someone great. And personally, I wouldn't accept breaking these below, or at least not 3-4 times in a row without any signs of change:
There are also love, acceptance, respect, and empathy... these must be (in every bond actually, can't imagine anything without). I'm still learning them... It is hard art.. patience and courage help, maybe. I'm not sure but let's find out on the way :)
And this is how you look and think when your boundaries are intact and your preferences aren't shattered... :D almost like Frank Sinatra... just more open, another time - another fashion.
I would also recommend very very very much this channel on YouTube: Psych2Go - super easy understandable content, cutest ever drawings - like sprouted plants 🌱, important topics (love, life, and s**t), many videos to choose from... mmm... one of my favorites next to the morning cup or on a short break.
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This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes.