Path of self discovery

So... One more message from me about diagnoses.
I'll try to keep it short while the avalanche of hostile people because we don't agree hasn't turned into a quantity that would allow social media algorithms to monitor my activity as if it were, well, terrorism at the very least :D Just kidding, I have a deep belief that it can be avoided this cancel culture or, let's say, victim culture and if it's inevitable for someone, it might be a certain sign that you have broken away from the flow of time and no longer feel the so-called Zeitgeist (EN: Spirit of time, that was very popular movement around 2007-2011 based on film series with the same name, and it helped me to become an atheist then)... Well... and this cancel culture phenomenon is nothing new at all, it's just a modernized and digitized Lynching. And just for the sake of a good little rant I just point out that here we can experience another example of historically blind belief that this kind of phenomenon wasn't with us before, just like the belief that LGBT people "didn't exist" before XXc... or that people, and even more so ALL men, are completely perverted only in these terrible times while at the same time, the internet is full of drawings and sculptures of ancient civilizations with ANY possible deviation from the missionary pose, etc., not to mention the generally inexplicable drawings or the so-called Womb Cave (Ultroba Cave) created by humans (not nature) in the shape of a vagina. So.. but what I wanted to write about is not that big of a topic, but it is important, I think, and now let's do that.
So... Shortly - I am not a supporter of the opinion that if you have a problem or uniqueness: overweight, a different orientation, an internal barrier to employment, an inability to find a partner, etc., well, that having something that is actually not so good or so common, that such a thing only needs acceptance and approval, that it is not so much a problem and that the most important thing is to accept it and live with it. In my opinion, this is the first and therefore perhaps the most important step in the construction of any life, but it is certainly not the final step, well, not in my life. And it's not only about physical, financial, sexual, and professional health but also about the emotional, and relationship side of our everyday. Perhaps I needed to enlighten and update myself that this direction - acceptance is currently even more acute in the emotional health sector and people are encouraged not to hide and open up about their problems and in this way to integrate into the surrounding society. And really, this step is super important, to accept the way it is here and now for you, because, first of all, without this step, it is impossible to go or even come to the idea of some kind of change, but... But this acceptance and thinking that that's all people need... well, that's not really the best solution in my eyes. Not to mention physical health… It's not enough to just accept that your leg just broke, for example.
But let's move on to emotional health. I don't know if it's known to many, but the most life-threatening disorders aren't schizophrenia, not even depression or anything, it is rather disorders related to food, and weight regulation because they are likely to end up rapidly leading to serious problems, and even fatal ones (good read on that here). I don't know if it's worth explaining something very strongly here, but accepting yourself alone won't really help you to overcome difficulties and change the current situation to a less dangerous one. And it's really not just about the opinions of others, although almost 100% of the time it's this increased attention to the opinions of others that leads to such behavior towards oneself. Just to make a long story short, my goal with this article is to make the point that simply accepting your uniqueness is not necessarily the end of the road. Just as you can find ways to lose weight and get in good physical shape, or, say devote your life to reaching marriage equality if you're gay, so can you work on your emotional problems, which (after all) are mostly nurture, not nature-based IMHO, in other words, not innate, but acquired. The good news here is that acquired problems are usually possible to restore and those defensive mechanisms of behavior or attitude towards oneself and others can be changed, not always but most often. Unlike in physical health care, in the psychological health area all diagnostics are based, let's say, not necessarily on empirical observations and proofs at all, not to mention that diagnostics based on symptoms can hardly be considered very reliable and objective or even scientific. Much more can be mentioned here (you can check this article too), but the main point is that just accepting the ailment that has emerged is super important, but I would not advise you to dwell on it until it becomes clear to the person him/herself, with or without help, that he/she either cannot or does not want to change the situation... Because simply adapting to cultural norms and/or denying the problem is definitely not optimal.

​And if you really know and you've checked enough times and you're on the path to either healing or control your condition, then you're doing the best you can for yourself and your environment and you're a cool person. Good luck to you.

​Mainly I simply invite you to question things and check them... Just like I would encourage not to put yourself in the role of a ethernal laboratory rat, so that you never be able to come to terms with your less than ideal health... which is the reality of each of us, unfortunately :)) And that's it. Best wishes. Well, if you ever meet a perfectly healthy person, it will probably only happen in a dream. 

Hello, I just hope this post won't be full of anger and sadness because that's exactly how I've been feeling these past few days.
Would you buy someone's heart, feelings...? Would you sell it for money or other material wealth to someone else? How much it determines relationships and how we combine internal and external resources... Is happiness really not in money and how much people would give for the career turn they want or the simplest house with a normal washing machine, not to mention the right medicine for their sick pet, or even for oneself.
It's strange... how often we just gulp all and completely go to swirl inside and so become royal beggars, because we don't learn to earn, gain material, or even physical independence, after all, how many adult children still live with their parents or other guardians... Well, or we give ourselves up to becoming completely materially self-sufficient and spiritually dependent on others... Well, in other words, we need to have around us those who need our support... And again... how many adults are able to be fully self-sufficient, and then part of that ability is still also provided to parents or other guardians still living with them.
To be honest, I don't know a good balance between co-/counter-dependency and whether this dynamic really creates a relationship where a person wants to belong and be someone to belong to, where they want to help and be helped... I say it's one thing about a relationship where a person is themselves and does it - create a relationship because of our natural, inevitable social needs... And another thing where these are habitual actions, even thinking, with which we just barricade ourselves... where we become inaccessible neither to others nor to ourselves... but somehow still virtuous and as if vulnerable?? Because we accept help if not one particular type of help, then another type of it.
I want a person to give because they are doing it and, well, in the sense that they are absolutely happy to do it and are blessed to see that you enjoy it... without any desire to get something in return...
I want a person to accept because he can and besides, it is not vitally necessary for him/her, but he is pleased to see that it brings a smile and joy to someone else, when they accept someone's gifts... For him it is like, as Teal Swan says - "positive social behavior"... it makes sense because we socialize whether we want to or not, we through hints and peeps in one way or another, if not literally sitting in each other's arms :D or at least we dream some nonsense or some image with a very caring person passes before our eyes when we accidentally fall onto the floor of a store or forget where our cart with products is :D well, it happens... like some kind of guards or just demons, pushing away from things that you have to be pushed away from.

Well, how much will we sell the heart for... and how much will we buy it for... and are you the seller or the buyer or both?? Do you just care about the exchange, where we win and lose... where we are communal and willing to share, but still choose the environment of "our league"... inevitably?​

Somehow, the further I go, the more I am convinced that trauma, like anything that seriously affects a person, whether it happens in the family, or the family is simply not very consciously able to follow the norms of society, so they adapt them without empathy or even compassion, rather with panic and anxiety about their offspring's abilities to become a good citizen, a part of everything that is the world for all of us. So different...and so unapologetically real. So withdrawn into their own things and affairs... and infinitely related to anything, even to the dust that you can see floating in the air in the room, illuminated by the rays of the sun....

I don't know, it's hard to write and there's a lot of confusion, so that I wouldn't inevitably end up with oversimplification or too long a litany about things that are mundane... I stop here and wish everyone as much trust/faith as togetherness/love.

​and

But rather just in freestyle float between them?? 🤟

So continuing on the theme of freedom and now also on stability... I really liked the question from a member of my group about freedom and stability, what I particularly liked was the naming. Freedom and stability, what insight! Because I have always thought that freedom and security/safety go as if on the sides of opposite polarity... And really, no hell! It is stability that goes against freedom, and security can be as much in one pole as in the other, as well as not being in it. Again... very often I think about how strongly security/safety is mocked in our dysfunctional families, and not necessarily in families, but in the general society... And it is precisely those polarities that are actually on opposite sides that seem to distract a person and he has to choose one or the other pole and consider it some kind of essential choice without much flexibility. Indeed, as the attachment styles show, choosing the "right" pole is not always the solution... The solution is in safety, and whichever pole is safer at the time, that's what you choose...

​So... then what does stability mean when a person changes, his life changes and both home, family, and country do not change... That person becomes a prisoner of his stable environment both inside and outside. As they say, "Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.” - Mandy Hale. Stability becomes precarious.​
Well, how can freedom not be safe?? (Blog's entry on freedom) Oh... well, how many people have "accidentally" ended up in solitary confinement for "accidentally" smoking a joint... Ooor for ?? burning money in public to show they are against it?? capitalism... For ignorance, for riding a bus without a ticket or driving drunk, and so on... It's just that sometimes freedom is not the same as irresponsibility or unconsciousness and rejection of accepted universal laws or normative behavior... sometimes freedom is the understanding of these things and the ability to deal with them while staying safe.
​If you live in a country where human rights are difficult, you can leave, if you can't leave, you can join the movement to change the situation in the country and do it in a way that the risks become calculated, not crazy, even if you end up in prison, etc. It's all choices, the most important thing is to choose safety or/and calculate risks... because simply put as cool as it is with freedom, nobody needs you dead or hidden somewhere or stuffed with drugs ... or brainwashed, etc. We all make some kind of compromises because complete freedom means running around naked when it's raining, smashing windows of "the enemies", and burning their cars... well, it's :)) worse than in the animal world. As the saying goes "We normally consider stability to be the constant in life and accidents to be the exception, but it’s exactly the opposite. In reality, the accident is the rule and stability is the exception." — Gabriel Orozco. Freedom becomes precarious.

So without any longer due, what I want to tell is a thing about stability this time... I see it as safe when it works as a loss prevention of resources. It is not about focusing on obtaining resources by any means, at any time, from any possible or even impossible source. With this kind of behavior, a person is in conflict with the environment, himself, his inner peace, and even his self-confidence. He just runs as a junky to satiate for a short time, - the very next hype, next fashion scream... next short-term gain, ANY gain. At a time when you can focus on what you already have, what is already happening and is sufficient, maybe even fun... and try to keep it and wrest it from others who want to consume it for themselves, because we all tend to accumulate things, and get more of them or at least enough... and it's not necessarily about the material side of life, it's also about friends, and even if we don't want more of them, then we really want better ones - closer, more inclined to cooperate and so on or maybe even improve the relationship with already existing ones, deepening or daring to pursue or allow oneself to be pursued... These are simply unavoidable needs that no one even thinks of somehow controlling, but rather MEETING them... so :) one or another competition is inevitable... and by accepting it, it is possible to look at it through the prism of the same security, where life is like a sports game, we all play sports and because of this good sporting spirit, you can try and win... And winning requires not only striving but also trying to avoid failure. So here it is... in simple terms, I think stability is about being able to avoid failure without chasing unrealistic tasks or unrealistic goals; just as freedom is an attempt to focus on success, on one's own goals, and not on failure or someone else's aspirations.
It is similar to earning and saving polarities, just earning well is not useful, and the same goes for knowing how to save well... Sometimes one is more important, and sometimes the other is more important, flexibility is the answer.
As if freedom would be allowing yourself to be focused on your directions in life, and then stability would relate to allowing yourself to avoid disconnection from them. Simply put. :) Enjoy