So continuing on the theme of freedom and now also on stability... I really liked the question from a member of my group about freedom and stability, what I particularly liked was the naming. Freedom and stability, what insight! Because I have always thought that freedom and security/safety go as if on the sides of opposite polarity... And really, no hell! It is stability that goes against freedom, and security can be as much in one pole as in the other, as well as not being in it. Again... very often I think about how strongly security/safety is mocked in our dysfunctional families, and not necessarily in families, but in the general society... And it is precisely those polarities that are actually on opposite sides that seem to distract a person and he has to choose one or the other pole and consider it some kind of essential choice without much flexibility. Indeed, as the attachment styles show, choosing the "right" pole is not always the solution... The solution is in safety, and whichever pole is safer at the time, that's what you choose...
So... then what does stability mean when a person changes, his life changes and both home, family, and country do not change... That person becomes a prisoner of his stable environment both inside and outside. As they say, "Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.” - Mandy Hale. Stability becomes precarious.
Well, how can freedom not be safe?? (Blog's entry on freedom) Oh... well, how many people have "accidentally" ended up in solitary confinement for "accidentally" smoking a joint... Ooor for ?? burning money in public to show they are against it?? capitalism... For ignorance, for riding a bus without a ticket or driving drunk, and so on... It's just that sometimes freedom is not the same as irresponsibility or unconsciousness and rejection of accepted universal laws or normative behavior... sometimes freedom is the understanding of these things and the ability to deal with them while staying safe.
If you live in a country where human rights are difficult, you can leave, if you can't leave, you can join the movement to change the situation in the country and do it in a way that the risks become calculated, not crazy, even if you end up in prison, etc. It's all choices, the most important thing is to choose safety or/and calculate risks... because simply put as cool as it is with freedom, nobody needs you dead or hidden somewhere or stuffed with drugs ... or brainwashed, etc. We all make some kind of compromises because complete freedom means running around naked when it's raining, smashing windows of "the enemies", and burning their cars... well, it's :)) worse than in the animal world. As the saying goes "We normally consider stability to be the constant in life and accidents to be the exception, but it’s exactly the opposite. In reality, the accident is the rule and stability is the exception." — Gabriel Orozco. Freedom becomes precarious.
So without any longer due, what I want to tell is a thing about stability this time... I see it as safe when it works as a loss prevention of resources. It is not about focusing on obtaining resources by any means, at any time, from any possible or even impossible source. With this kind of behavior, a person is in conflict with the environment, himself, his inner peace, and even his self-confidence. He just runs as a junky to satiate for a short time, - the very next hype, next fashion scream... next short-term gain, ANY gain. At a time when you can focus on what you already have, what is already happening and is sufficient, maybe even fun... and try to keep it and wrest it from others who want to consume it for themselves, because we all tend to accumulate things, and get more of them or at least enough... and it's not necessarily about the material side of life, it's also about friends, and even if we don't want more of them, then we really want better ones - closer, more inclined to cooperate and so on or maybe even improve the relationship with already existing ones, deepening or daring to pursue or allow oneself to be pursued... These are simply unavoidable needs that no one even thinks of somehow controlling, but rather MEETING them... so :) one or another competition is inevitable... and by accepting it, it is possible to look at it through the prism of the same security, where life is like a sports game, we all play sports and because of this good sporting spirit, you can try and win... And winning requires not only striving but also trying to avoid failure. So here it is... in simple terms, I think stability is about being able to avoid failure without chasing unrealistic tasks or unrealistic goals; just as freedom is an attempt to focus on success, on one's own goals, and not on failure or someone else's aspirations.
It is similar to earning and saving polarities, just earning well is not useful, and the same goes for knowing how to save well... Sometimes one is more important, and sometimes the other is more important, flexibility is the answer.
As if freedom would be allowing yourself to be focused on your directions in life, and then stability would relate to allowing yourself to avoid disconnection from them. Simply put. :) Enjoy
And once again I invite you to remember that no matter how in your environment, where you grew up or where you are still, security is compromised... by equating it with arrogance, cowardice... boredom, or cunning... this is probably the most attractive quality for those with whom it is possible to establish really good relations. And☝️ everything else is not that important.
the one and only in whole world :) the gracefully grateful شکیرا
This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes.