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I thought initially that this post would be repetitive about the grey rock method... and aimed straight toward people, who can't deal with simple and plain "no"... this is a serious issue because it causes loads and loads of problems and unnecessary drama if not worse than that. People ignore you, provoke you, accuse you... threaten you, suspect you... It's such a pathetic circus where whenever you turn you see a clown dealing with you as if you would be them... It's overwhelming... Nowhere to look so often, so often. But... I turned back to the person that I am... Since the old truth says that if everyone around seems to be a broken mirror, it must be it reflect yourself. So.... How to become someone, you dreamed of for so long and now you can't.. at least seemingly you can't and the only reason for it is pure fear and anxiety for novelty. There are several examples in the animal kingdom of metamorphosis when animals change their being into completely different shapes such as some insects like butterflies, dragonflies, bees, ants and so many others. Or some crabs :) reptiles also change their skin completely, although they remain in their initial shape. This isn't so new... We - people, have our becoming too and lose our old selves in the mystical past that we still can access mentally, and emotionally while remembering it. And certainly, we don't do it once in life... There are at least a few times we do that and never look back eventually :) or we do look back but later on and with some newly gained smile and peace in the heart. If people can experience hell or heaven while they live this life, they also can reincarnate from one another... You don't have to die for that to happen to each of us :)  And just as animals we require additional measures of safety and security to complete such a metamorphosis... It takes time, an enormous amount of energy, and other resources just for that... and it usually goes without much help but rather much danger from outside. We are vulnerable, and we don't behave or seem like ourselves often... this confuses and makes others question our sanity or morals or whatever else too. Our usual social circle might not recognize us much... and it might be temporary or for long, depending on the situation. It isn't only a gain to dare to become, it's a loss as well... and after all new you mean a new world from within... when this process occurs it breaks you from within, and you often don't recognize either you or your view of your surroundings... You see your new eyes, you hear your new inner voice... they are so fragile and soft yet... or unusually sharp and therefore scary... and this novelty is still hiding and running from the signs of especially bit insecure people... Your heart doesn't know its compass very well yet... people drag it to love them, if they lack love... to respect them, if they lack that too. They accuse you of it while pretending to be virtuous themselves... as if they never changed or simply did it so long ago that this thing you do... seems like an insult of chosen stagnation compared to stability... You also recognize beauty and purity in people and fall for that... so often... with a wish to hold on to that... and incapability to stop in your process... It's so f***ing sad... my friend, so sad. And you know your old self will be slaughtered for you or by you... And you know, what kind of pain this is, pain and suffering... you know some stuff, and stuff you can not know yet frightens you even more.. just as all people experience turbulent anxiety towards novelty... Even if it's freeing... And that's why it is hard... Why is it essential? Because you may keep being stuck and happy... never lose stuff, never gain new you... but if you want to reach your dream... Your old self must die several times before you become someone who can ACTUALLY make your dreams come true, realistically, eventually, in an unstoppable and inevitable way. So... happiness is overrated... I am in the time and place of my life, where purpose and meaning are everything... and peace and happiness will come a bit later... Breathe in, close your eyes, let go, and jump towards your aim... as many times as it is required to make it. or... it's ok to die trying. There is always some time after reaching your dreams... to create a new dream. That it isn't an argument that "I won't have anything to reach after" :) funny but not an argument. Neither "you" nor "they" will be ever perfect... although we all are ideal still. somehow. Chill, go, rest, repeat, and enjoy
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Recently few people showed me some words in which the prefix para' was replaced with meta- one ooor just what this meta- prefix can reveal to us. I was astounded by these 2: - metacognition & - metanoia Both words have their option with the prefix para-, accordingly, one would be spelled paracognition and the other paranoia. A little bit more about both. Metacognition - seems like this one means literally thinking about thinking, some sorta observation from of your own thinking process aside, not from inside. In this way, you could catch some patterns that aren't correct and later work on them. And dear reader, I hope you know, that we are most effective and fulfilled and happy so when we understand things in a way that is most near their objective reality. In this way we make fewer mistakes, we get up faster after a fall, and we are more flexible and gentle and strong and beautiful :) so on. So this tool - going out to observe your own mind's processes and patterns seems solid and valuable to have in your pocket and use from time to time. I made a few images for myself to better understand it.  I haven't dug into this any deeper yet but you can also look up this document if you want some more expanded info: Google doc Paracognition has mostly to do with telepathy if I understood correctly. And then there is Metanoia... It was fascinating to understand, what this word means and holds within. First time I heard it on A.Arestovich's video, where he was answering questions from his followers. You can find some descriptions here or here. As a person, who had to deal with my own leaning to cluster A mess, I instantly recognized that this was the exact correct name for some experiences that I had after starting my first proper coaching process back in 2012. Mostly it was a strange experience because it was not only hard and messy but is scary and it really seemed like temporary insanity... What I found even stranger was that it always, and I mean ALWAYS had a positive outcome and I really felt like a new human being after it. Why this is important? I think it is important not to fear this... when you are in a proper genuine healing, growing process you will hit periods like metanoia and it is a very good idea to go through it. Especially if you were facing something really opposite before in your life and now hesitate to experience it again... You basically need to go through that barrier or stay stuck in life... "happy", "safe" and seriously stuck. In fewer words - you have to love the meta- prefix... seems like a really optimistic one. :) Well, paranoia means a feeling of persistent attention by others. In general, what importance there is in the words that we use :) I don't know if there is a lot to tell about the power of words, and how we use them with others and ourselves.
No one knows when language appeared among us...Might be it appeared with the first anatomically modern humans.. so it is earlier than fire or anything... Words can kill, and words can resurrect people from fatal illnesses, that's basically what psychotherapy is for... We share feelings and knowledge through our words, it might inspire and shame, it might lift or shatter your mood, it might brainwash or enlighten you so on... I am a speaker of words of affirmation as my primal love language, so believe me... I know the power of the word, the way you tell it, the worth and message it holds... the presents and parasites it may hold... it's magic and it's lead into a world of pure fantasy to create your future life to travel to... with a company or alone, if needed. You may not speak and be mysterious, you may speak everything like a radio and still be unreadable. You can do whatever with words and that is why it is so important. A few sentences can change your life without the ability to go back to who you were before knowing them. Please, be aware of what you bring with your words, and what magic you provide with them. Are your words harsh, powerful, and supporting your shattered backbone, are they humorous and tickling your numbed funny bone and later the heart :) or are they uplifting and crushing dark clouds upon you or within you just remind you of the existence of a wishbone to get back to your dreams again :)) After all: |
This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes. 
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