Ok... so on ecology in our lives. What you do about it? You recycle your home waste? Or you try not to use lot of stuff, re-use anything you can? What are your choices to not drawn your-self in the sea of things: furniture, clothing, shoes, bags, plants, dishes, food, anything? Do you like it to be as clean and empty as it is in minimalism style or even as for ascetics: only you, backpack, toothbrush and bottle of water? Or are you more of the creative, chaotic person, who needs to have bunch of useless things around him/her, wake up and sleep not by regime or discipline but rather by impulse or mood - in waves and still be fine and ok. What is your prerogative: chaotic creative style or clean orderly style. Both of them has their own charm and limits... Or maybe you are someone in between and then get 'eclectic' or 'shallow' labels because of it? Okey... So, about me, myself and I :D again.. I like XIX century ending XXc beginning, why? Because this was sort a crossroad from something, what was old and slow and constant into something that was suddenly blooming, growing in never seen speed before... everything just exploded: industry, medicine, population, art, all. So, I guess, that defines me as someone, who likes to hold on to, what is oldish and go on with something, what's new. That time has writers such as J.Verne, I can't tell, how much I liked to read him in middle school, telephones were invented and many other machines. It's something in between posh and rich of ornamental design and clear, clean, certain strictness of geometry, shapes, humbleness. I love it. Maybe generation X makes me chose things in "between", neither old style nor digital one.. I don't know, it just works for me. I enjoy recycling and emptiness just as I love to bring nature home: leaves, plants, tree branches, shells - stuff, "I might need" for this and that and all :D and it's very appreciated and valued. But yeah, windows must be big and lots of light and lightness too.
Hygiene and cosmetics - similar topic, looking, smelling, touching, hearing - body sensations and body mind, if you can name it so. Why it is important, I can't tell but it's funny, how clean and pleasant environment and your own body makes all things just better, lighter, easier... like after sitting in some cellar and small, dark place, you go into empty, open area, where only fresh air, wind and open space is present.. Not no mention, if you can observe all of it from some spot in good hight. It cleans your soul, you finally can breath and feel alive, you can say, who you are and not sit still and analyse your past, on and on. It's this need for space and freshness, empty head, open heart... only body: bones, muscles and blood - only those are your life, You, everything, every piece working in perfect harmony. Jesus, how I love this :D so yeah, mainly, hygiene and cosmetics are important... oh right, and some dirt and not being ONLY careful works as well... you know, potato needs fertilisers :) our body needs to fight something to stay awake and ready, also our body parts die every second, every second so many die in general and then.. so many are born, really, I wonder, if bonobos would have developed those brains that we posses now, would they populate whole planet just like we did? And yet again, if we fly into open space already, how long until immortality invention? And where all of us will fit... ? And then again, to have a child that is raised peacefully and with awareness can just make it work, not because "everybody does it", everybody does just the same nature programmed them to: fulfilling instincts and then die; but we can do more, I do believe, as we are nature and it always wins, we do go right way, way of the nature.
Ok, so next topic, that I truly simply pull out of nowhere, seemingly is aboooout... :D socialising and pets, shell we?
I talked about being alone and self-sustained because it's seriously interesting topic and needed skill entering adult's life (doesn't matter, you enter it at your 16 or your 56, it's never too late, and we all remain childish no matter what, unless we become healed 100% like Buddha or smthing), so... Yes, self-sustainability is a thing (at least for me) and then there is that part in us, who needs socialising and needs it highly. Not to mention, in a hierarchy of needs there is this section of social-belonging needs. We all are animals, never gone far from it, main brain capacity is still wired to surviving and motoric, really not to prefrontal part responsible for our conscious thoughts and being... That's little part, main part is about body and unconscious, and as an animals we are very social creatures, not to mention that this need is about surviving too: group is more effective in hunting and all than one individual. It's often said that introverts are quite new, just as eating meat or cook food is relatively new part of life of humanity, I am not sure about it (introvertive features) myself but I am sure, we developed not only cooking but morality to sort our lives and better surviving of the species. Morality isn't something pulled out of nowhere too, primary it helped to control and develop most preferred behaviour withing group, most effective behaviour. Anyone, who murders, rapes, assaults and steals isn't wrong in order to survive and have more offspring, it's just he (she?) usually ends up alone; or say, group where such a human would become a leader (because everyone would avoid and fear him), would be brutal and abusive, where creativity, peace, gathering and teaching-passing knowledge wouldn't be very much preferred or even existing... I mean, there isn't anything new, if you rob, murder, assault others in such group, unless you do even harder and!, even in this situation, you would be more effective in group than alone. Shortly put groups with brutal and destructive behaviour is hard to create and even harder to maintain, they aren't long living and stable. So, in this way common today's morals are those, where we mostly avoid murder, rape, assault, theft and embrace peacefulness, cooperation, creativity, flexibility; these principles slowly created more successful, prosperous and greater groups and civilisations afterwards. Well, something like that, I'm not historian and this small description is about socialising and importance of it; we created unimaginable things because needed one another to get better and learn and so on.
So... shortly: don't forget your family or loved ones, friends, co-workers, everyday strangers - cashiers, drivers, electrics, postmen, waitresses, just people in a bus stop. One random smile can change your day, one accidentally met stranger - your life. Take conflicts for a challenges to learn solve problems, enemies for guidance to most important things, when we lose our ways; there is no body, who falls out, everything is simply connected in ways, it's impossible to fall out. So :) lets enjoy our days and, I hope, 2022 Easter amused and cheered everyone up :)
Aha, on pets :D well.... everyone that we sort a "save", funny enough, usually saves us more. There is a great idea in there telling that only losing self with another one gets you to find yourself, paradoxically (is it from Depeche Mode song?).
Also, speaking about pets, lot of people can learn for parenting simply by having some pets and watching self, how you do with them, you like it? Can you be ok with them and care enough, do they have everything? Do you spend some time with them, do you understand do's and don'ts? Can you say they are ok with you and are appreciating you, even if in quite ambiguous ways :)? Are you ok with your daily life and travelling and not getting too busy because of them, you find free time and connecting with people as well? So on. If you are ok with your pets and still having quite fine life, you might be ok with kids too. Again... not to mention that it's good exercise to learn empathy to kids too - to care about a pet, to understand needs and emotional state of another one, of course, at proper age for it.
Some people, who were abused and abandoned by their family of origin in quite sever ways prefer to bond with animals more than people. Might be also just an outcome of copying behaviour of their guardians in early childhood.
Let them stay happy, those paws and all :)
So... last entry was on mental stretching and having somewhat wider world view and bigger picture in tact. This one will be on physical part: exercising, moving, doing.
Anything: walking, running, swimming, yoga, jogging, climbing, boxing, lifting... What you do, what is your favourite? Do you do it separately or just combine in your daily activities, like - walking your dog longer, maybe your work requires run or walk, constant moving? Is it your profession: sports or you just go to swim in local water place doesn't matter it's cold or warm outside? What best results you hit yet? What is it you want to achieve? Myself I just love to move, if I don't move, it seems like I'm dying, brain doesn't get enough of oxygen, no endorphins, mood get's waaaay to low. Do you over-work, over-exercise often? How many lazy days you have in a week? All this is sooo exciting :D
I love swimming BTW, what is you fav sports? Someone uses smart bracelets?
Maybe you play competitive sports: football, baseball, rugby. Martial arts? On martial arts I think it's important tool for self competence in a manner not to fight but knowing that you actually can do it: fight, it means your tension in bit, say, awkward situations might be lower or not existing. BTW, just a thought, but some guys are really good in verbalise them-selves out of trouble, that's good protection as well. Team sports also bring some communication in the place, which is always healthy day exercise as well + in warmer season it might bring you out into the sun - important too.
And shortly on diet: I am not exactly sure about younger people, since I ate drunk and used all sorts of sh***t, so is it interesting to them, I am not sure. Still.. the younger you start to build up your biological system we call body, the longer and happier it will last. Again, in dieting I never met anyone, who has it sorted completely, diets that people I met used: vegan, vegetarian, keto, Mediterranean, fasting, intermediate fasting, raw food, fruitarian, raw vegan, water diet-detox days in intervals, tea diet-detox in intervals, gluten-free diet and I guess, that is it. Usually people, who are more aware and conscious about, what they eat and how much, are counting calories a bit, eating less fatty and sugary food and trying to exercise. There are many indicators on, what is ok and not so much on the products labels as well: red, yellow, green colouring of fat, sugar, salt in the product can tell you, what to pick best, especially knowing this limit for kcal/day for adult - 2500. For some hours for eating doesn't matter, for others eating in the evening is slow torture sentence in fast evolving obesity. Some mix stuff: eating some particular diet, not exceeding particular number of kcal/day, doing some fasting too. I think like in exercising here is anything adjusted to a person. Never mind that, if too strict, you can end up losing your healthy style constantly because natural ways of our psyche needs freedom and constant restriction that can't vary and have days off seems like a prison, I wouldn't suggest that.
And few words on addictive substances like nicotine, alcohol, caffeine. Not long ago even doctors claimed that nicotine is healthy in small amounts (well not so long ago Sun was turning around Earth, so no surprises), so now it's still believed alcohol and especially caffeine is healthy in considerate portions too... Again, I'm not telling to be perfect but if you use something, never judge anyone self medicating on heroin, since the point is the same everywhere: if you can't calm down and stay uplifted without your "small sins", the other person can't too... although judging in general is hard thing to handle. Stay healthy, stay clean and let your energy brighten your and your friend's day. Whoop whoop!!! fella or a gal, whoop whoop :P
Reading, ok, let's do reading and exercises, since I can't understand any mental stretching without some boxing bag or good swimming... It doesn't go this way, you need to move in order to rest up your brains and you need to exercise your brain to let your body to levitate in it's own galaxy or something...
Reading, again, myself I prefer paper books, it's so much easier to separate them + I simply like to detach from pc, phone and anything, to have a cuppa with some green (decaf) tea or coffee (decaf, you guest right) and.... just disconnect from fast, racing, competing, eating itself up world... with wars, epidemics, protests, masks, prices, noises, mess... all of it. That is best for me, but anyway, other people prefer another stuff: audio books is the thing, you can also get into group book readings, so on. You can write books :) and also there is an internet... This wonder of the world needs another to write about it.
So... Internet and streaming created this way of people without writing and reading simply streaming their knowledge and also following to get some kind of knowledge. I know, classical, academical approach dismantles and belittles this way of sharing: giving-receiving knowledge, since it's messy, random, filled with actual bull***t and not many can disagree with those arguments... as they cant disagree that mostly new, fresh and intact information really is concentrated in internet, not in books or newspapers. It's just so much faster that other ways of info streaming... that technically it's just impossible to get faster that this. So to belittle importance of internet is completely wrong choice. So... I would like to mention podcasts and conferences, films and all you can find in this reality of internet which is actually not very real, it's virtual, yet, it creates actual reality so so strongly... already.
And then home-schooling. what it is and why you need to know it :D home-schooling was one of the best options to escape from world's madness, when Covid just hit and it always is a most preferable option for escaping mad education system that we have. Yes, there are better schools, alternatives places, where teachers and their students are choosing objects to learn by voting and never need to ask permission for visit toilets and never need to sit for hours in one place while being a children filled with high levels of energy... Where teachers and students are in one level, not a in higher-lower hierarchy. And then those places are few and very fresh and usually expensive or not stable enough to trust it for longer time. So.... home-schooling is where parents (or other guardians - grandparents, step-parents, so on) can do their best to avoid pushing their children through the mince grater to made them into "another brick in the wall". It needs some preparation, some bravery but most of all it needs people, who prepared for parenting and have some excess time to spend it in quality way with their children, in playing, in resting, in learning and in other activities. That is most required - having recourses: a giant wish for your child to get the best out of learning and saved spare time to actually do learning together. And that's it basically.
If you don't believe me, try to re-educate your own self without attending academy world. There are plenty famous, successful people, who never went there following their diplomas but rather following their life mission, not the carer but a call (not graduated or ere drop-outs: Coco Chanel, George Orwell, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Claude Monet and more). What else?? dunno, maybe Billie Eilish example of being home-schooled in their childhood and so on. It's not about staying uneducated, it's about staying with your passion rather than with your paper.
Well... Let's talk about guys and gals, who are capable to do three things at once and then to do nothing for hours or even a day :D since something else is happening in their body or unconsciousness, so they are incapable to even move a lot then... But!! If their body is up for action is usually not only driving, going for shopping in the 10min break, cooking, cleaning a flat, pumping your muscles, choosing music, planning future :D and only god knows, what else going on, fact is - there is a lot going on and at once. This being said I just want to illustrate it in visual way and then put few words on how and why it is useful, what are it's flaws and how I manage this trait I have myself.
Pros: You can manage lot of things by yourself and master to be self sustainable in your household and building up your life, so no one else is really needed... You see, problem with getting together with someone isn't about them doing things, you can't manage to do, it's about being ok by yourself and meeting someone, who is ok by them-selves too. In other way put: if you think someone will help you with your stuff, you will certainly meet someone, who will think you can handle some of their stuff and... well, calculate your-self, but it means you will never escape of working your a** out anyway even, if someone will do part of your duties.. unless you have a unrealistic thought that your new duties for your partner will be miraculously amazing and never boring to do :D Best luck with that... So I think, best trait of being multitasker is a promise to yourself and your close ones that you are able to handle it all by yourself: cleaning, shopping, food, car (or a bike or any transport), bills, body hygiene, washing, looks, health care, so on.
Cons: If you managing all by yourself, you know, how uneasy is to have something additional, how uneasy is to move to another flat, city, country... how difficult is to invite another person in your life and how hard is to comfort those, who are already in, and BTW their life changes too, so its a roller-coaster. You may be not focused, seem ignorant, forgot to check in with world's news so on.
How I am managing it? I let myself to do nothing, if I just can't do anything that day... It's scary, strange and uncomfortable but ok and somewhat shamanic. And I let me be 6 handed god thing :D who does everything at once, if I seem to have enough of energy and will for it that day... It's seriously messy, not accurate, overwhelming but it's freakin magical too. I try to have my schedule in tact (eating, sleeping, cleaning times) but not forgetting more major tasks and their space in my life (to call family, to write blog, to plan journeys, to check in with world's news, therapy, car fix so on)
Yes, that is as simple as that, - just let it flow as a river and you'll be fine or somewhat alike fine :)
BTW some people are very big on meditating or praying or both. TBH I pray and I pray either because I have heavenly connection moments and I try to remind me about concept of gods and anything divine being metaphorically our parent figures, while we were babies and having ok connection with that brings us appreciate life and accept it's gifts more easily... Also I do that in moments of great struggle.. and accidents, it re-creates same bond with "divine" and safes us from belief that we are incapable of withholding and pushing through the hardship. Although I prefer talking mantras so much more, mantra is long lasting rhythmic repeating of some phrases or words that are important and effective to you.
what about meditating.. I hardly do it consciously as well but it happens to get me more grounded and centred, not to be blown by the wind to any direction. And mostly I do it "on a go", it happens, when I cant focus but need to... or simply before falling asleep or just before being awake... Those purely insightful, crossing conscious/unconscious line moments, where you know and get more than usual, no drugs needed, right? those moments are naturally hypnotic and visionary. And again... I prefer being in nature and just watching it so much more and simply getting grounded, reconnected and refreshed by it.
If you have something to share about prayers and meditations, please, write in the comments, I would enjoy reading it :) Sharing is caring
This time I write a bit of how to organise your finances and also your time. Everyone heard that thing about money<=>time, time is money, money is time... So have you ever organised your own finances and time by your-self to become your own boss and not to build up something for someone else's business? no? Why not to try to do so now, right? Well, or at least to have that crazy thought in your head for a while about becoming a master of your finances and time... Clarity and ability to actually seeing things, - numbers, figures, order, transparency before your eyes isn't so big of a task but really great benefit. It keeps you away from bigger anxiety issues, you fear less... if you lose your count and completely drop off your schedule, you can go back to those, when time is right again... and count again, right all on paper, when you want to see, how you actually are doing.
You can count your finances for a months, can be for a week too. It can be everyday schedule or you can divide it in working days and days off. Anyway you prefer, it's working, if you really think it and live it.
Another way to put this message through: it is not about doing it my way or anything but doing it in general, meaning - creating sheets about most important areas in your lives about things that are essential for you also including things that are temporary as, say, to look at your progress in particular project or activity. Reason for doing it is this: you might evaluate things completely differently than the way they actually are and it's no body's business to prove to you that you're wrong... You know guys, who can go for years in one and same place like stuck or circling. One of them know, they go in stages (like a spiral) not circles (like 2D circles), others can't see that because all they know is to trust the intuition... And to trust your guts (intuition) is awesome and needed, those are your natural instincts talking sense to you. But!! There is always this -but- :D I'm so sorry, so the life's "butt" is that intuition sometimes fails and only facts naked, cruel or not, just simple facts can lead you to a better solutions than you used before and lead you out of your 2D circling problems... That's how so called "blind spots" are crashed, of course!!! before crushing them, you have to notice them, they have to be revealed straight in to your face and, when you start to see them, - that's already half way done before getting free of them. So... please write those things: achievements, downfalls, spending, income, hours for work, hours to rest up, feelings you feel, places you want to go mentally, reminders, of who you are, doubts, insanities, confusions so on... please, write them.
Myself, I use office sheets for this but whatever is working for you, just keep on doing it :)
Ok and another area that is needed to mention is exactly about mental/emotional development and building up the awareness of one's own self is journaling. Writing, recording audio or even video - all possible formats are just as good. You can paint, you can dance, you can sculpt so on.. whatever works for you to get to actualise and understand, what is going on within you - that's the point of any form of journaling. To see yourself and to know you better, who you are, what you feel, how it looks like, what you see around. Believe me, you don't know most of info you contain within... it's hard to know another person, so it's hard to know yourself too.... + think what kind of capacity would you develop to understand another person, if you would really be good trained to do that for you. I think benefits are enormous and still.... no one will get you as you are able to get yourself. ;) So all the best in the most sexy and exciting journey you can ever find :) oh, and endless :D it can only end with yourself in the set, so even this crucial point is covered here.
P.s.: rereading, re-listening your older journal entries is super exercise too, you can also go to public some of your creations and testimonies, this way you can get opportunity to view it several times as well.
I want to try to write about things we need to say to the people that we hurt. Often we even hurt others accidentally out of forgetfulness, out of inertia, out arrogance, ignorance, wish to remain in our comfort zone, never experience pain or suffer, never changing our lives, never even thinking to ask for forgiveness, nor taking responsibility... Many reasons, one outcome: hurt, tiredness, misunderstandings so on. So.... I think until we can go and just live our lives further, letting those in power cut each-others throats f***ing finally, let's apologise one another in the way that the other part would hear us out and understand our sorrow :) so they could find resources to forgive and open their heart to us again. To us and them-selves.
That is why it is so important to know these languages as well. If you know love languages already a bit and can speak your love language just as well as you can get along with language of your partner, so in same way you can learn, what is your and your partner's language of apology.
I am not sure, if it is possible to reach those, who already have fallen in this enormously crazy way of chess game over the world, as if these territories would mean business rather than people, their lives and stories. I am not sure, if that can be forgiven or after how long time it would be possible... Still, best attempt we could make first is to make a step and say SORRY. For whatever reason, it works not less powerful than saying "I LOVE YOU" in the way another person could understand you :D
As you can see this is languages of apologies by dr Gary Chapman, same author as for love languages, so there can be many other ways of looking at things for sure but this one is still working and it shows. Although I am encouraging to try different angles, if you have time and energy for it. ALWAYS
Once again, these 5 languages are different and if you only apologise in your own language, your loved one or close friend or a parent, child might not notice it, not pay attention and still feel hurt by you and this is biggest misunderstanding just like, when you express your love and your loved one just can not get you, your message, she or he doesn't even notice you.... Same here. So I put another image with same 5 ways to say sorry down bellow, it might give some more clarity on how they differ:
There is a book about these 5 languages of apologies by Gary Chapman. You can read short version of it - here.
And one of the most important thing in close relationships is, of course:
(This YouTube video has options for subtitles in Lithuanian, Russian, German and other languages in the settings)
Ok, considered latest events in the world (war in Ukraine) and still being in the search of my perfect lion image for FA attachment style, this entry will have bit another but related topic. We still need to go on even, if in lower amounts of the deal that we swore to keep caring for in this way we CERTAINLY will conquer this deadly⚔️horsemen AGAIN and again and again✌️
Usually insecure relationship feels like a trap, as if you would be tricked into some net you can't go out from... And you might blame one another for this or think some theories, although it is simply known as an Anxious/Avoidant trap in attachment style theory.
This trap exist between avoidants (dismissive avoidants DA - tinman people and fearful avoidants FA - lion people) and anxious attachment style AA (scarecrow people). Avoidants have a tendency to close up and withdraw, ghost, block, leave the bond asap, anxious attachments have tendency to run after someone, convince and try to fight them back no matter what. As you can see in the picture bellow the trap activates, when there is a treat for surviving, realistic or not, those triggers from before - from the childhood are alive...
So... because some people wanted to see some same sex couples :D and we have here a possibility to play that scenario, let's take a Tinman (DA)🤖and a Scarecrow (AA)🎃for this instance. What would happened between these two is somewhat like going in waves of:
Honeymoon - Comfort zone & Stormy time - Danger zone in the diagram
When the Tinman and a Scarecrow have a good, honey times all is ok and splendid, even most probably somewhat too good to be truth and simply over the sky :P But then something might trigger one or the other they start a time of conflicts. These two phases never ends and repeats on and on, and it is exhausting and also addictive, so people might stay in it but will eventually be unhappy or they might end it sooner or later. Examples of conflict times triggers:
Result in SCENARIO 2: Tinman because of fear and despair of seeing very hard future would be acting very capricious and push unrealistic blame and demands on the Scarecrow in this way creating the image for a Scarecrow to help them to see, they are disappointed and seriously upset. Scarecrow on the other hand would feel they won't ever reach those demands and never understand egoistic capriciousness of the Tinman and that would tell them they will be left, abandoned. If you can't satisfy your partner, they would just leave and find someone, who can, right? So Scarecrow most probably will find somebody instead first as an affair to find relief to not feel this threat anymore, since they wasn't doing anything wrong to a Tinman and just wished their participation in his/her new adventure/excitement, so they would not understand this toxic, manipulative behaviour of their Tinman partner. Tinman would see this all and will be convinced he will be damaged in the unimaginable ways and will withdraw, block, just end it and never come back to it (because their relationship trauma looks exactly like this). Leaving a Scarecrow to be completely broken in their new adventure and wishing the Tinman to come back for the rest of their life... well, for long :) really long time.
You can see that kind of story in the short sci-fi movie ROBOT & SCARECROW 🎥, where is exactly shown, how people mistreated the robot and how scarecrow is totally abandoned by them at the start and how it all ends up, no matter how both - scarecrow and a robot (aka tinman) are trying to be ok. Just an another reminder to know that you can get your attachments with people to be more secure.
And that is the illustration of these scenarios with no comments 🕊️🕊️🕊️
Here I present mostly just a summary of one course I attended that was provided for co-dependent people. What I took from there is somewhat of the map of where I want to go in my life (or art of life, if that's your way of looking at it), what directions to hold... what daily tasks to do, how to manage emotional ok state, how to enable these things all in general and so on. Course is repeatedly provided by Richard Grannon and they are moving their website to new address or similar, so atm you can find him on YouTube or Telegram, if interested.
Ok, so why it is important to sort a know, what you're up in life and why?? - meaning, what directions - values, virtues in you are moving you towards creating your goals, wishes, visions, dreams, you life style? Well... because there are too many lost people... too many people that are worshiping someone just because they can't have their own selves built-up.. It's a mess, people envy, people blame, people get blinded by emotions... people get totally dead by rationalisation, you see that type of people think, if you're not acceptably ethical, you must be a thug by default... That's their value :D "behave or I'll put you in your place"... no vision, no direction, just pompastic, blown up ME - childish ego. Also there are plenty of virtue signalling - that is, when people laugh about virtues, portraying them as archaic something that no one ever can or should hold on to... Yeah, I get it, you're young, you don't care, you know all and that "all" is everything that's most trendy AT THIS DAY, like no history was made before and as, if no history will come after TODAY.. and there can't be much of the blame here, I think. It's just that inability to actually clarify your own, crystallized virtues and have some sort a system or matrix of it makes you signal them.... To follow a virtue makes anyone seem as more moral and good or smthing, it makes them to be clear, straight and disciplined and that on the outside seems like good and moral thing to be for others... therefor people, who can't or don't want to work out their own values, they signal them: here I support equality, here I support freedom of speech, here I support spider men, here I support logic. Whatever comes, where ever wind blows. And again even, if you have strong basis, you might seem just as populistic as I described now... why? Cause you don't really care much about virtue fashion, it changes but so does your own system, so why not to align a bit, right? Like, if you already know yours, why not to be curious about, what system of virtues is ongoing in today's world in general.... Don't get fooled: one person is blown by wind, since he/she doesn't have their own matrix, the other person rides wind of changes out of curiosity, since they have their own system... it's more of the fun to ride it :D it's not populistic, people pleasing stuff. Why not to gain some experience from outside world, being stuck isn't very refreshing, isn't it?... just like not having own roots isn't very fun ride at all, more of kamikaze - in action.
So how the virtue looks like? There are plenty ok, good lists of those online or in books, in our heads in our every day conversations too. You can find some here or here or here too, so on.
So these might be your directions in life, you can see, how your life decisions or everyday tasks and behaviour is really driven by these :D amazing discoveries, when you see it in action and actually recognise how it all is aligned in harmony. That's the way out of matrix you hate so much, that outside matrix that tells you about, what you need to do, why... what you can't do and why.. No, this is you, your own choices and realisations, your own way, own Your-self, not the self of the others they need you to be, so.. no one else controls you just as you can't control them, not really.
After finding directions you can build up some sort of areas that are important for you: relationships, carer, finances, leisure, physical health, mental health, hobbies, spiritual health, education, world views, so on. Then you can attach your main goals onto those main areas, that you are active in. Example: CAREER - I want to get my first job by my profession or I want to get better position at my job; RELATIONSHIPS - I want to go with my spouse to relationship council and/or on vacation trip; my goal in HEALTH is to reach my optimal weight or/and to build up biceps, so on. Something like this:
In the second image (2) you can also find some other aspects than directions - virtues, these aspects are about:
- How reaching each of these goals would make you feel,
- How your body sensations would be, when reaching your goals,
- What obstacles and personal blockages you need to overcome in mowing towards your goals.
You can also build another type of visualisation about how it would feel or sense after reaching them - goals (image 3). These tasks helps you to not only understand but feel, transfer you into that time, when you already reached your destination, and that creates greater motivation, proof of your attempts being realistic.
After building that greater picture and directions and all, you can start to turn back to your everyday. Then you can build up small tasks for each day to hit that would slowly but steady lead to your goals, and minimum tasks you allow your-self to be ok with (not to get scared, overwhelmed and then paralyzed by bigger stuff) :) An example:
And I'm not sure, but it might be enough for this time, I would go for more details and/or for emotional health maintaining exercise in another entry. These I mentioned above, were mostly about building up the big picture to hold on too and to refresh, when time comes or by a need. You don't have to put self into an "army forces" everyday, but sometimes that is exactly, what's best... Up to you; your style of maintaining your ways to go for your life, to chase it and to let it create your personality are the best choices to make, just as Your-self - is best choice you make in every second. Don't give up the path and go through the challenges you meet, world would be a boredom without these. :) Let's fcking build it - our lifes!! 🧱
kisses and all 💋
Ou.. maybe this video too about how to maaaaagically turn from the abusive situations, - so called drama (or Karpman) triangle, into empowerment situations: MAGIC IN ACTION 🪄🪄🪄
So.... after finishing adventures of black sheep and a scapegoat (or at least it's some shorter or longer time pause for now)... I want to talk about boundaries. Previously in first (after few year pause) spontaneous blog's entry about relationships I wrote on needs and preferences in bonding, everyone could have their preferences verbalised just to be more clear, what they are looking for and what would be surely a way to good connection. So now... I have strong need to go for boundaries... This is somewhat, maybe an opposite thing but mostly is about same... Needs are about, what you want and boundaries are about, what you don't want. Because some things, if they are crossed, people can be hurt in ways that are either not repairable or it would take super long time and super heavy efforts, so sometimes it's just better to let go... And most of all it is also better to be aware, you have those boundaries and even more better 🙌 - to verbalise them. Just my opinion but I think these things could ease so much of burden and missunderstandings that relationships bare within... They evoke our bond with our parents: every tiny traumatic experience will let you know, how fcked up you and your wounds are... not to mention, that your partner/friend will have that precious opening and hurt all the way too... so you can't turn somewhere much, this all is your to care and to heal and to verbalise it. So.... less of fog (even, if it's pink and rosy :D) and confusion - at the start, the better outcome - in the longer run. That's the recipe I try to write down here, take it or not - up to you.
Here are my own rough, raw put boundaries... I'm fully aware we all meet wonderful people and it's no end to it until we are alive. Still... if connection with my partner is real and mature enough, meeting walking wonders ✨ can make some temporary soul wondering, maybe even body rush but... it's never serious or not serious enough and eventually it becomes something else: a lesson, a friendship, a working project, a joy of meeting someone great. And personally, I wouldn't accept breaking these below, or at least not 3-4 times in a row without any signs of change:
There are also love, acceptance, respect and empathy... these must be (in every bond actually, can't imagine anything without). I'm still learning them... It is hard art.. patience and courage helps, maybe.. I'm not sure but let's find out on the way :)
And this is how you look and think, when your boundaries are in tact and your preferences aren't shattered... :D almost like Frank Sinatra... just more open, well, another times - another fashion.
I would also recommend very very very much this channel on YouTube: Psych2Go - super easy understandable content, cutest ever drawings - like sprouted plants 🌱, important topics (love, life and s**t), many videos to choose from... mmm... one of my favourites next to the morning cup or on a short break.
This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes.