How love and compatibility isn't the same thing or how to build your Life Mountain
So how love and compatibility are different things? I think it's super simple: one is more unconscious and there can't be a clear way to explain it (well, maybe only by poets), while the other is more conscious and possible to be explained.
I recently (2021 September) made my list to reach people, I would be compatible with not only on an unconscious level, well, you know that level, where MAGIC - love, friendship, attraction, and other wonders suddenly happens… and sadly, but when only that happens then people end up slowly wasting that magic/regaining it, going into various type of relational hell/heaven, it is difficult to endure or it might even look like if you were doomed to eternal failure and then experience bliss again, so on, followed by repeating break-ups out of the blue, and then getting together again, - all of which leads to complete confusion, chaos, and despair, it's "IMPOSSIBLE".. So, what I did, I made some conscious list to not get dragged to the magical places only.
There are many ways to get more aware and educated in the reality of bonding with someone, it can include Attachment Style Theory, it can include Love Languages, working on your CO-dependency/COUNTER-dependency, and other types of healing, and building up your psyche. Attachment Style Theory – that is a very complex, super effective, and layered method of (re)building bonding within you first of all and then creating better connections around you as well, I would highly recommend these guys: Personal Development School, also this group. Love Languages and how to understand them in you and your partner/friend/co-worker, recommendations for books. CO-dependency/COUNTER-dependency – there are various courses paid and free to discover your type of attachment with people and get to the point, where one or another learned dependency or both wouldn’t bother you or be almost not appearing anymore to the level of no bother, recommending spartan life coach courses.
So, back to the list, I created, this is, what it is at this moment (you can find a similar example here):
How much do you cover?
+ As mentioned in the beginning, there is also unconscious compatibility in bonding... I’m not sure, how to catch that... It’s just is or isn't or partially or in waves... Or in 'portions'. Don’t know, hard to describe, I guess. Well, you know it, it's almost in every second song on Youtube... no news.
Also yes, it’s how much of the space and opportunities you give for people, who want to get to you/ what space and all is given for you as well, I love to give and receive this part, pleasant. Or you try to get closer to them and reach your goals on a go until you're done and satisfied. I think it’s an awesome part of bonding - exactly how much they enjoy reaching out to get closer and getting to their goals too. I enjoy it as well, challenging.
To give an illustration on it: there is a tale for kids in Lithuania about 2 angels by V.V. Landsbergis... one is Gabriel and he thinks that forgiveness is a BIG thing and it’s better to give stuff to those, who don't have stuff... since others already have it, so no point for giving here.
And there is Michael.. he thinks that everyone supposes to earn things. And only by earning alone in this exact process do people already get, what they need... so you basically don’t need to give but challenge people to go earn stuff. That is your giving. I remembered this tale in 2021 October
Also, I would put this picture I just maid for to comply with my list of percentages (the image is made in 2021 November, this autumn was simply amazing):
Source of the image: here
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This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes.