Dorothy or Secure Attachment Style

Ok, going back to attachment styles among adults.... First in a row:
Secure attachment style (acronym - SA):
I am not sure, what to tell much about this attachment style:

• this is most spread style, half of the west population is securely attached.
• this is most transparent, clear, comfortable, easy, agreeable style.
• people can vary in social, financial, emotional, intellectual, success life style in here.
• this style seems most boring and least adventurous.
• this style seems most stable and continuous, safe.
• this style, if learned in the family of origin, makes people to meet their partner at their ~30 and stay in the relationship for long.
• films about that kind of romance isn't very tempting to create or to watch :D

Ok... so that's a short spoiler of this style. Also☝it is very important to mention: people can change their attachment style they learned from their parents. 

​Not sure, what else to ad here:

• secure people can be serious and also very humorous.
• they will know their boundaries and they will know, you have them too.
• they will have preferences and they will be curious about yours.
• they know, they aren't perfect and they are keen to grow and learn.
• they will experience consequences of their bad decisions and they will not take your responsibilities away from you, just as not to ad theirs on to you.
• collaborative and aware.
• pretty much, they are just normal.

​I am not sure, why it's always 'they' in this text :D ?? But everyone can become secure, if they want to. 

In the land of Oz :) for me Secure Attachment Icon is Dorothy: this person has heart, has brains, can be vulnerable (has courage) and she is secure (person feels like home)... so... I just found this meme and then, let us pray🙏(and don't even think on push on the Dorothy pic, you sacrilegious person! :D) for to become and stay within this frame of saint and cosy security :D but to be honest and bit more serious.... This - attachment style theory, - really might be one of the keys to your ok bonding with the partner and other people, you love. Even with you! Yourself... within, since it's much more effective and fair to work on it and build it from within than wait until someone will "make you whole"... try it :} it's worth it. (Other securely attached people might help, especially attachments therapists)

I would like to mention Esther Perel and her work about exactly desire in the couples. Secure people don't have a pink dreams about not hurting/not being hurt... And sticking together forever, never let go holding hands or being in very distant, very busy bond, where you spend one romantic evening each week and that's all.... 
I mean, at least for me hurt and abandonment, also not being free and uniquely me are big topics and balancing and surfing in these opposites is crucial thing to do. I really appreciate Esther's work.

​

There are lot of resources on attachment styles in English. You can find some in my blog too, like here for example.

Take Me to Church 💒