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In a previous blog entry, I wrote about ways to work on your relationships. One of my most preferable way to do it is to study and understand Attachment Theory. I found a few groups on Facebook for it, and also a few friends, who are more advance in this topic, and with time, laughing at memes and reading people's discussions I slowly got into some attachment quizzes. How do you know, what type are you in connecting with others, and how to recognize it in you/your behavior. I never could define it for myself without tests and quizzes, so I recommend just stepping on it and try these:
And again, after you will get your results, let’s keep playful, shall we? I want to talk about Land of Oz now :D And how watching the 1939 movie about it reminded me exactly about attachment styles and how the kind of every main character a represents each of the styles: Dorothy – Secure attachment style SA Tin-man – Dismissive avoidant style DA Scarecrow – Anxious preoccupied style AA Lion – Fearful avoidant type FA (Initially, I watched that movie to understand, where psychology term 'Flying Monkeys' came from) Here it’s some easy memes on it  And let’s talk about this comparison. Dorothy even though, she is not herself atm and is hallucinating some fantasy land, seems to bond easily, is soft in talking about her needs and boundaries, knows her autonomy, and can feel just fine depending on others. Maybe a bit boring and not so interesting and especially exclusive, she really seems OK there. All in place, a bit boring, no big surprises - just as securely attached folks, can't say, why they just easy to talk to, although not invasive, almost invisible but you come back to them anyway. There are no movies about these because it would be too boring, too quiet, easy, and simple :D By statistics, about 50% of people in the Western world have a secure attachment style. Tin-man is exclusive… He’s rusty and can’t feel it. Seems like his body and soul are… either not accessible or hardly translated to himself. He seems calm and stable but not flexible and secure. His body sensation and feeling are unknown/too far for him. No heart. Just as dismissive avoidants are very much dependent on their intelligence and can’t get into the emotional sector in intimacy, it scares them. Is it like platonic or business alike love with some long, ongoing discussions here and there? About 25% of people are dismissively attached in the West. Scarecrow is special too, you can tell. He’s like spineless, boundary-less… not trustworthy, insane a bit? Seems like he can’t think is chaotic, even his body can’t listen to him. He is friendly and easy to bond with, but no trust or stability is in this creature. His not conscious much and cannot be OK with his body. No brain. Just as anxious preoccupation depends on the most emotional side of the connection, can’t get into the mental sector in intimacy, it makes them anxious. Simply put an Italian family with a lot of drama on and on or just a romantic comedy nonstop. Anxiously attached in the West - about 20% of the population. Lion – super special… animal king with no courage to be that. Completely insecure with a super strong facade though for covering it up. He seems to be a mixture of both – tin-man and scarecrow in one… neither he’s OK with his feelings or thoughts… no capacity to deal with sensation whatsoever and can’t be gentle with his royal body too. He needs to be cared for but can’t deal with it since it seems too insecure too. No heart/brain <–> No courage. Just like fearful avoidants are mostly depending on their own safety and can't get into intimacy or very shortly, with great distance or a clear promise to end it. Here you can remember extremely romantic stories with super tragic endings or generous, heroic withdrawals from relationships for “higher reasons” or "higher good"? Or maybe can be similar to action movies with some love intrigue? Extremely charming bad guys/girls with the ability to shine briefly and brightly, when disaster strikes or they meet even more badass people around. We have about 5% of disorganized attached in the Western world. According to statistics at least in the USA counts about 50% of marriages end up with divorce... This does not necessarily directly correlate with the statistics of attachment styles spread... Anyway :) nobody gets hurt by better and more conscious relationships, where warmth prevails, well, sometimes maybe some more heated sparkle appears :D Good luck  push the rainbows Don’t forget to not get discouraged :) by your quiz's results, it’s way better to know things than to live in denial of self-righteousness. It’s not your skin tone, you can change your attachments if needed.
Best luck and... you will find your way over the rainbow :) promise Blog posts are edited and some additional info is put in over time not to be very surprised about changes in texts while reviewing older posts.
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This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes. Archives
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