Why people can fear to admit, they're transgender. Long- and short-term prospects. (resume)

Raising a child from the birth with this belief, that gender must comply with sex, leads to fragmentation of personality, when you have to play someone you are not until the degree, when you believe this is who you are or just have to be. You don't have to avoid to assume your child's gender but rather listen, if he/she says it is not so. All men can play women, can behave feminine just as women – to behave masculine. But if you are forced to live in this state constantly: to play a role constantly and live your life while doing that, to live like everyone around does - solve various real life problems, etc., that causes exhaustion not understandable for others, cause they usually don't have it. Beside forced personality fragmentation you have an additional fatigue and you usually see people around you, who can express them-selves more as well, and that creates an impression, that you are doomed and defected. This injustice enables only one thing - self-hatred, grieving because of such behaviour with you, self-isolation and so on. All these are psychological problems, which leads to less efficient human behaviour in society, so not only transgender person suffers but also people around him/her. And all - because of wrong parenting. But those wounds can heal and person can change and he/she can find understanding and courage to take off this armour and finally be, who he/she is, was and will be, to become someone, you always thought you can be.
Absence of comprehensive, science-based, unified, clear classified results indicating knowledge/research on this case in society makes it difficult to be certain of your personal understanding/insights/knowledge. Moreover when traditions can't hardly recognise the diverse nature of human sexuality.
Society in general doesn't accept people, who know them-selves on a deeper level, who know more about their inner worlds and thoughts. Because this learning leads to "evil", "wrong" behaviour, behaviour that actually reflects more our-selves and our inside rather than needs and customs of the surroundings, and for such behaviour we all were punished for a long part of our life until we internalised it. However, this doesn't mean that the knowledge and learning, which frees, doesn't bring fruits of it, and I wish to each and everyone to find a way out of your cells or furnish them lavishly for times, when you would have a need to disconnect from people :)
Of course, you can choose not to change the body, to live a life of false gender, false self and so on. But most of people I met, who are living such a life consciously and (mostly) unconsciously, usually have variety of problems. And of course, who doesn’t have them, right? But I would say, that maybe most important is the degree of happiness and the understanding, understanding that after finally opening way to the truth – naming your true-self as your-self and false self and not your-self, it is possible to take care of more fundamental things for us, to get more inner peace.
In recognition of who you are you free yourself from significant part of an unnecessary load. Of course, there is a different load fast finding it's place for your attention, but then you can weight, when you are happier – with old loads or new ones. I would never push agenda, that everyone should and must open up right now and be brave right now, and must never fall and so on. But simply, there is a limit to everything and everything has it's own value, and we can afford to choose more comfortable and pleasant limits and values, even if people around us will be struggling to get and accept them.. Ironically, through discovery of something really important you will know, how many people remained blind and sleeping, so it is difficult to walk alone and lonely… But then you are finding other groups, other hearts that will confirm your significantly growth and your need for a relevant company. Of course this requires time, that may seem endless :) you can feel like climbing walls and so on.
Aaand final wish of best luck in your discoveries.


Laurynas Sadzevičius


P.S.: there is lot of research related to human sexuality done, but they didn't give unified results.

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