Here I present mostly just a summary of one course I attended that was provided for co-dependent people. What I took from there is somewhat of the map of where I want to go in my life (or art of life, if that's your way of looking at it), what directions to hold... what daily tasks to do, how to manage emotional ok state, how to enable these things all in general and so on. Course is repeatedly provided by Richard Grannon and they are moving their website to new address or similar, so atm you can find him on YouTube or Telegram, if interested.
Ok, so why it is important to sort a know, what you're up in life and why?? - meaning, what directions - values, virtues in you are moving you towards creating your goals, wishes, visions, dreams, you life style? Well... because there are too many lost people... too many people that are worshiping someone just because they can't have their own selves built-up.. It's a mess, people envy, people blame, people get blinded by emotions... people get totally dead by rationalisation, you see that type of people think, if you're not acceptably ethical, you must be a thug by default... That's their value :D "behave or I'll put you in your place"... no vision, no direction, just pompastic, blown up ME - childish ego. Also there are plenty of virtue signalling - that is, when people laugh about virtues, portraying them as archaic something that no one ever can or should hold on to... Yeah, I get it, you're young, you don't care, you know all and that "all" is everything that's most trendy AT THIS DAY, like no history was made before and as, if no history will come after TODAY.. and there can't be much of the blame here, I think. It's just that inability to actually clarify your own, crystallized virtues and have some sort a system or matrix of it makes you signal them.... To follow a virtue makes anyone seem as more moral and good or smthing, it makes them to be clear, straight and disciplined and that on the outside seems like good and moral thing to be for others... therefor people, who can't or don't want to work out their own values, they signal them: here I support equality, here I support freedom of speech, here I support spider men, here I support logic. Whatever comes, where ever wind blows. And again even, if you have strong basis, you might seem just as populistic as I described now... why? Cause you don't really care much about virtue fashion, it changes but so does your own system, so why not to align a bit, right? Like, if you already know yours, why not to be curious about, what system of virtues is ongoing in today's world in general.... Don't get fooled: one person is blown by wind, since he/she doesn't have their own matrix, the other person rides wind of changes out of curiosity, since they have their own system... it's more of the fun to ride it :D it's not populistic, people pleasing stuff. Why not to gain some experience from outside world, being stuck isn't very refreshing, isn't it?... just like not having own roots isn't very fun ride at all, more of kamikaze - in action.
So how the virtue looks like? There are plenty ok, good lists of those online or in books, in our heads in our every day conversations too. You can find some here or here or here too, so on.
So these might be your directions in life, you can see, how your life decisions or everyday tasks and behaviour is really driven by these :D amazing discoveries, when you see it in action and actually recognise how it all is aligned in harmony. That's the way out of matrix you hate so much, that outside matrix that tells you about, what you need to do, why... what you can't do and why.. No, this is you, your own choices and realisations, your own way, own Your-self, not the self of the others they need you to be, so.. no one else controls you just as you can't control them, not really.
After finding directions you can build up some sort of areas that are important for you: relationships, carer, finances, leisure, physical health, mental health, hobbies, spiritual health, education, world views, so on. Then you can attach your main goals onto those main areas, that you are active in. Example: CAREER - I want to get my first job by my profession or I want to get better position at my job; RELATIONSHIPS - I want to go with my spouse to relationship council and/or on vacation trip; my goal in HEALTH is to reach my optimal weight or/and to build up biceps, so on. Something like this:
In the second image (2) you can also find some other aspects than directions - virtues, these aspects are about:
- How reaching each of these goals would make you feel,
- How your body sensations would be, when reaching your goals,
- What obstacles and personal blockages you need to overcome in mowing towards your goals.
You can also build another type of visualisation about how it would feel or sense after reaching them - goals (image 3). These tasks helps you to not only understand but feel, transfer you into that time, when you already reached your destination, and that creates greater motivation, proof of your attempts being realistic.
After building that greater picture and directions and all, you can start to turn back to your everyday. Then you can build up small tasks for each day to hit that would slowly but steady lead to your goals, and minimum tasks you allow your-self to be ok with (not to get scared, overwhelmed and then paralyzed by bigger stuff) :) An example:
And I'm not sure, but it might be enough for this time, I would go for more details and/or for emotional health maintaining exercise in another entry. These I mentioned above, were mostly about building up the big picture to hold on too and to refresh, when time comes or by a need. You don't have to put self into an "army forces" everyday, but sometimes that is exactly, what's best... Up to you; your style of maintaining your ways to go for your life, to chase it and to let it create your personality are the best choices to make, just as Your-self - is best choice you make in every second. Don't give up the path and go through the challenges you meet, world would be a boredom without these. :) Let's fcking build it - our lifes!! 🧱
kisses and all 💋
Ou.. maybe this video too about how to maaaaagically turn from the abusive situations, - so called drama (or Karpman) triangle, into empowerment situations: MAGIC IN ACTION 🪄🪄🪄
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This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes.