5 Languages of Apology to Become Real Multilingual :D

I want to try to write about things we need to say to the people that we hurt. Often we even hurt others accidentally out of forgetfulness, out of inertia, out arrogance, ignorance, wish to remain in our comfort zone, never experience pain or suffer, never changing our lives, never even thinking to ask for forgiveness, nor taking responsibility... Many reasons, one outcome: hurt, tiredness, misunderstandings so on. So.... I think until we can go and just live our lives further, letting those in power cut each-others throats f***ing finally, let's apologise one another in the way that the other part would hear us out and understand our sorrow :) so they could find resources to forgive and open their heart to us again. To us and them-selves.

That is why it is so important to know these languages as well. If you know love languages already a bit and can speak your love language just as well as you can get along with language of your partner, so in same way you can learn, what is your and your partner's language of apology. 
I am not sure, if it is possible to reach those, who already have fallen in this enormously crazy way of chess game over the world, as if these territories would mean business rather than people, their lives and stories. I am not sure, if that can be forgiven or after how long time it would be possible... Still, best attempt we could make first is to make a step and say SORRY. For whatever reason, it works not less powerful than saying "I LOVE YOU" in the way another person could understand you :D

As you can see this is languages of apologies by dr Gary Chapman, same author as for love languages, so there can be many other ways of looking at things for sure but this one is still working and it shows. Although I am encouraging to try different angles, if you have time and energy for it. ALWAYS

Once again, these 5 languages are different and if you only apologise in your own language, your loved one or close friend or a parent, child might not notice it, not pay attention and still feel hurt by you and this is biggest misunderstanding just like, when you express your love and your loved one just can not get you, your message, she or he doesn't even notice you.... Same here. So I put another image with same 5 ways to say sorry down bellow, it might give some more clarity on how they differ:

1. Saying "I am sorry" usually needs a list of, what was done wrong by you. Analytical one.
2. Accepting responsibility is reminder that you are adult and can handle yourself even after mistakes. Need a list, and especially hearing a person out, accepting their truth and feelings without any doubt and unsureness.
3. What can I do to make it right? - It's a cry to fix thing, one by one, just to repay the hurt. This is more on actions, not words.
4. It is about changing self, behaviour and so to not repeat the same situation again. Active approach, aiming for a longer time, future.
5. Will you forgive me? - This one I see as most risky one, since you completely give yourself to the person you hurt and they and not you will decide, you can or can not be forgiven. 

There is a book about these 5 languages of apologies by Gary Chapman. You can read short version of it - here.

And one of the most important thing in close relationships is, of course:

• the VULNERABILITY,
• talking about shame,
• without these we can't really have an empathy to one another. 

Best, entertaining and really insightful speaker on these issues for me is Rene Brown :) and here you can experience worth of her research and ability to engage with her audience :) 

(This YouTube video has options for subtitles in Lithuanian, Russian, German and other languages ​​in the settings)