I want to try to write about things we need to say to the people that we hurt. Often we even hurt others accidentally out of forgetfulness, inertia, arrogance, ignorance, wish to remain in our comfort zone, never experiencing pain or suffering, never changing our lives, and never even thinking to ask for forgiveness, or taking responsibility... Many reasons, and one outcome: hurt, tiredness, misunderstandings so on. So... I think until we can go and just live our lives further, letting those in power cut each-others throats f***ing finally, let's apologize to one another in a way that the other party would hear us out and understand our sorrow :) so they could find resources to forgive and open their heart to us again. To us and themselves.
That is why it is so important to know these languages as well. If you know love languages already a bit and can speak your love language just as well as you can get along with the language of your partner, in the same way, you can learn, what is your and your partner's language of apology.
I am not sure if it is possible to reach those, who already have fallen into this enormously crazy way of chess games over the world as if these territories would mean business rather than people, their lives, and stories. I am not sure, if that can be forgiven or after how long time it would be possible... Still, the best attempt we could make first is to make a step and say SORRY. For whatever reason, it works not less powerfully than saying "I LOVE YOU" in a way another person could understand :D
As you can see this is languages of apologies by dr Gary Chapman, the same author as for love languages, so there can be many other ways of looking at things for sure but this one is still working and it shows. Although I am encouraging you to try different angles if you have time and energy for it. ALWAYS
Once again, these 5 languages are different and if you only apologize in your own language, your loved one or a close friend, or a parent, a child might not notice it, not pay attention, and still feel hurt by you and this is biggest misunderstanding just like when you express your love and your loved one just can not get you, your message, she or he doesn't even notice you... Same here. So I put another image with the same 5 ways to say sorry down below, it might give some more clarity on how they differ:
There is a book about these 5 languages of apologies by Gary Chapman. You can read short version of it - here.
And one of the most important things in close relationships is, of course:
(This YouTube video has options for subtitles in Lithuanian, Russian, German, and other languages in the settings)
Leave a Reply.
This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes.