I want to try to write about things we need to say to the people that we hurt. Often we even hurt others accidentally out of forgetfulness, out of inertia, out arrogance, ignorance, wish to remain in our comfort zone, never experience pain or suffer, never changing our lives, never even thinking to ask for forgiveness, nor taking responsibility... Many reasons, one outcome: hurt, tiredness, misunderstandings so on. So.... I think until we can go and just live our lives further, letting those in power cut each-others throats f***ing finally, let's apologise one another in the way that the other part would hear us out and understand our sorrow :) so they could find resources to forgive and open their heart to us again. To us and them-selves. That is why it is so important to know these languages as well. If you know love languages already a bit and can speak your love language just as well as you can get along with language of your partner, so in same way you can learn, what is your and your partner's language of apology. I am not sure, if it is possible to reach those, who already have fallen in this enormously crazy way of chess game over the world, as if these territories would mean business rather than people, their lives and stories. I am not sure, if that can be forgiven or after how long time it would be possible... Still, best attempt we could make first is to make a step and say SORRY. For whatever reason, it works not less powerful than saying "I LOVE YOU" in the way another person could understand you :D As you can see this is languages of apologies by dr Gary Chapman, same author as for love languages, so there can be many other ways of looking at things for sure but this one is still working and it shows. Although I am encouraging to try different angles, if you have time and energy for it. ALWAYS Once again, these 5 languages are different and if you only apologise in your own language, your loved one or close friend or a parent, child might not notice it, not pay attention and still feel hurt by you and this is biggest misunderstanding just like, when you express your love and your loved one just can not get you, your message, she or he doesn't even notice you.... Same here. So I put another image with same 5 ways to say sorry down bellow, it might give some more clarity on how they differ:
There is a book about these 5 languages of apologies by Gary Chapman. You can read short version of it - here. And one of the most important thing in close relationships is, of course:
(This YouTube video has options for subtitles in Lithuanian, Russian, German and other languages in the settings)
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
This is my blog about self-knowledge, self-work, emotional healing, growth, psychology, philosophy in general and other related themes. Archives
April 2022
Categories
All
|