Universally Acceptable Behavior 2: MAPS

Connection to Attachment Styles: FA vs SA
Dreams and moral material naturally overlap with attachment typology: disorganized attachment (FA) lives in constant threat and lacks an integrated "point" from which to calmly step between openness and withdrawal. Its mantra often sounds like: 
"If I'm open – I'll be punished; if I'm closed – I'll be left." 
So, a FA person constantly balances between hot activity and cold passivity, never experiencing safe being in either pole.

In contrast, a securely attached person (SA) can live in both poles' worlds: they feel loved and respected in closeness and distance alike. Their inner Super-Ego is not a voice controlling with a punishing tone, but a structuring and supportive force—one that:
allows being both "I'm open" and "I'm quiet" without panic.

My dreams showed me both paths: at first, I was in the FA image (persecuted, without defense), then—a magical step into SA meaning (a defender appears, Natalia appears). This is not magic, but a consistent process: conscious work on oneself, boundary reconstruction, building inner security.

The Map – Compass in the Chaos 
Such a storm as my dream cycle shows why a map is needed—an inner compass. The map I use connects two axes: happiness goals (inner, feminine: connection, being, caring) and success goals (outer, masculine: structure, action, achievements). When both poles balance, Super-Ego begins to lead safely: it protects but doesn't punish; it creates boundaries but doesn't enslave. Your map acts as an orientation here: when the world—or inner self—turns chaotic, it reminds which way to go. It doesn't block the storm, but helps not get lost in it.

Inner Goals Map (the inner control and evaluation voice) is greatly helped by visually seeing the balance between:

• happiness goals (feminine, inner, nurturing aspect) and
• success goals (masculine, outer, structuring aspect).

This map—prepared based on Arthur C. Brooks' teaching—shows how these two dimensions intertwine through key areas of human life represented as a feminine force:
🜂 Faith – the world of meaning, contemplation, and creativity.
🜄 Family – the realm of legacy, transitions, and material well-being.
🜁 Job – Serving – the field of contribution, responsibility, and reputation.
🜃 Deep Friendship – the foundation of emotional nourishment and physical care.

🟦Blue lines mark goals that bring happiness – connection, being, contemplation (feminine line).
🟨Golden lines – goals that bring success – achievements, structure, growth (masculine line). The balance of these two poles reflects not only the unity of feminine and masculine energy, but also mature Super-Ego – inner authority that no longer punishes, but leads and accepts.

A Bit of Continuity
This map idea isn't new in my journey—I started first attempts to create it during Richard Grannon's course on codependency back in 2020. Codependency is typical for anxious attached people; at that time, I worked specifically with that side of my personality, which was dominant – AP attachment. The map helped me even see where I was, and this new version, based on Arthur C. Brooks' model, is much clearer, more structured, more spiritual. It helps not only orient but also maintain the inner thread when you get lost again between feelings and events. The first maps appeared in my blog back in March 2022. And this updated version I naturally link to this autumn—it again became that same inner compass when everything around is changing. Last autumn, during an emotional storm in my group's chats, people's reactions became like a mirror—they helped me intuitively sense where the safe Super-Ego voice is still lacking (although last year we didn't consciously work on it in my therapy). Thanks to them - chat people 👍
​By the way, I started sharing this updated map for the first time last winter, when my communication with close people was more open.

Ending – Invitation and Small Hope

Dreams are not just prophecy or grievance. They are guides. They show what to heal first: not only external wounds, but inner morality, the nature of the Super-Ego voice.
Healing begins by seeing what destroys us: rape, "murder" (or self-abandonment), theft, and enslavement. Next – quiet work: rebuilding boundaries, nurturing self-respect, learning to accept oneself without defenses.
And finally – hope: when a defender appears in the dream, it symbolizes that part of me that has already awakened.
​The one that no longer punishes, but protects.

Further – only direction.
Not a goal, but a feeling.
​Not a path, but being.

Disclaimer:
👉 You can read a short overview of attachment styles/types here – In the land of Oz or 4 main attachment styles
👉 You can read about goal maps here – Why is so important to know your personal values and built your life goals map?
👉 In the map: "🜂, 🜄" etc. – Alchemical symbols for each area
👉 You can get familiar with a small free Richard Grannon course on overcoming emotional flashbacks here – get-your-stop-emotional-flashback-course-here/