Teal Swan Adaptation: ANGER II

Based on Teal Swan's work and my personal experience

1️⃣ Anger Arises from Powerlessness and Hides Vulnerability
Teal Swan fragment (translation):
“Anger is protection for our vulnerable part. All that vulnerability — fear, pain, and perceived powerlessness — hides behind anger, which erupts as its defense.”
My reflection:
I discovered Jaden’s story in the spring of 2023, after yet another painful block from a loved one. At the same time, conflicts arose in the psychological LGBT group I was running over the war topic, once again. One member expressed increasingly aggressive extreme positions, and I felt tension building inside me. When I finally had to remove her from the group, an explosion happened within me. From the outside, it might have looked like anger or even rage. But inside, it was fear. Fear of losing a space I had created over years. Fear that everything could be destroyed just like that, due to momentary chaos. Fear of being powerless to stop it. Only later did I understand: that anger was protecting something that was deeply vulnerable and precious to me.
Takeaway:
Anger often hides not a desire to destroy, but fear of losing what is vitally important to you.

​2️⃣ Anger Can Be Tied to Loyalty to Yourself
Teal Swan fragment (translation):
“When we unconsciously see anger as loyalty to ourselves, we use it to defend boundaries and our interests, needs in a world that, in our belief, doesn’t care about our boundaries or needs.”
My reflection:
Removing that member, I felt anger, but at the same time I felt I was doing it because I had to protect the space. It was important not only to me, but to people who were vulnerable in it and trying to find a space to grow. At that moment, I understood how much what I create means to me. And that my anger arose not from a desire to hurt someone, to win, to prove something, but from a desire to stay loyal to what matters to me. The same happens in personal relationships. Even if it doesn’t matter to the other person, it matters to me. My life matters to me. My connections matter to me. And a part of me is ready to defend that.
Takeaway:
Sometimes anger is an exaggerated but sincere effort to remain loyal to yourself and to what is important to you.

3️⃣ The Effective Path – Caring for What Anger Protects
Teal Swan fragment (translation):
“When you notice anger, slow down and care for the vulnerability, pain, fear, and powerlessness underneath it. This is actually a more self-loyal action than an automatic anger reaction.”
My reflection:
After that incident, I returned to Teal Swan’s video and Jaden’s story. And for the first time, I clearly saw what was happening inside me. I understood that my anger is not the enemy. It shows where it hurts. It shows what I’m afraid of losing. When I understood that, I could speak about it openly. I could say that I was scared. That I cared. That I wanted to preserve what we had created together. As soon as I was ready, I did exactly that among the group members. And then anger became not a destructive force, but a signal helping me understand myself.
Takeaway:
When you hear what your anger is protecting, it stops controlling you and starts helping you.

In Closing:
Anger is not a mistake.
It is the place where your inner part still believes that you are worthy of being protected. And perhaps the real work is not to stop being angry.
Perhaps the real work is to finally become the one who will not betray you.

​This post is my reflection, inspired by Teal Swan’s work on anger.
​Article: The Hidden Link Between Anger and Self-Loyalty