Self-Regulation ABC: How to Come Out of Emotional Overwhelm/Survival State

I’ve noticed that many people sometimes experience panic or anxiety attacks — complete confusion and tension, almost like a survival mode — or fall into stressful loops where a strong emotion, a mix of emotions, or just a hard-to-name feeling takes over, and they become trapped in it. In other words, I see people who get flooded by emotional storms. Sometimes a person seems to lose their backbone and becomes rubbery — no longer knowing what they want, what they think, what to hold on to, or what to do next. It’s quite strange to observe from the outside, but I’ve been there myself. You’ve probably known that state too — when the ground simply slips out from under your feet and you no longer know what to hold on to, or when you get stuck even though there’s no real external reason for it. Nothing is happening. You don’t know why it’s not happening, but it’s not happening.
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That’s why I wanted to gather some basic tools in one place — simple exercises that can be used when a person is heavily flooded and first needs to reclaim themselves.

​1. Returning to Yourself
This post is for those moments when you experience a panic or strong anxiety/terror attack, intense emotional flooding, or another state in which you seem to lose your usual orientation. These exercises will not solve the situation that put you into this state. They will not suddenly move you from an emergency situation into a completely safe environment. If a loved one has rejected you, they will not suddenly start accepting you again. If you have a real problem, it will not disappear on its own after a few breathing exercises. However, they can help you return to yourself — to the part of you that can think, orient, evaluate the situation, and make decisions.
Critical moments sometimes seem to switch us off and pull us into emotional whirlpools where only fear, anxiety, or another strong signal remains — just like any animal trying to survive. So the first goal is not to solve your whole life. The first goal is to return to the here and now. For that I have four simple steps: breathing → body → senses → mind.

🫁 **Breathing.**
Pay attention to your breathing. Is it constricted, very rapid, or does it feel like you can’t inhale properly? Try to return to a calmer, more rhythmic breath.

• Inhale,
• exhale,
• again, and again.

Nothing complicated is needed — just notice your breathing and allow it to become calmer.

🧍 **Body.**
Now pay attention to your body. Is your neck tense, are your shoulders raised, are your hands clenched, is your jaw tight, or is your tongue pressed against the roof of your mouth? Notice the tension and release it:

• drop your shoulders,
• unclench your hands,
• relax your jaw,
• let go of your neck.

Simply relax yourself physically.

**Senses.**
Now return to your surroundings.

• 👀 Look at what you see — what colours are the objects around you? Name them to yourself or out loud (“I see a table. I see a blue cup. I see a window.”). There is no need to analyse anything, just look.
• 👂 Then listen to what you hear — a car, people’s voices, the wind, the fridge, your own breathing — and name those sounds.
• 👃👅 You can smell something with a stronger scent (for example, perfume) or taste something with a more distinct flavour.
• ✋ Finally, touch your nose, ear, hand, clothing, chair or table, or simply hug yourself and feel that your body is here.
  
  

🧠 **Mind.**
Finally, return to the present with your mind.

• Remember your name — your full name and surname.
• Remember your age and the fact that you are an adult who can take care of yourself and seek support.
• Remember where you are and assess: how safe do I feel in this place right now? If it is safe — simply remind yourself of that. If it is not safe — look for a safer environment.

And that’s it. This is not a magical ritual. It is simply a way to bring your attention back from the emotional whirlpool into your body, your surroundings, the present moment, and yourself.

In the next post I’ll share a few simple ways to respond to strong, easily recognisable emotions. Because that is already a somewhat different topic.