How to Find the Right Therapist?

Translation of the text with my personal experience at the end.

Mental health is becoming less taboo in Eastern Europe—books, articles, and support groups are popping up. Still, many hesitate to seek help or don’t know where to start. Here’s a guide to light the way.

Do I Need a Therapist?

What’s the difference between a psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychotherapist?

• Psychologist: Holds a psychology degree and helps with specific issues (e.g., family conflicts or career challenges). They can’t prescribe medication or treat mental disorders unless they’re a clinical psychologist, who can recognize symptoms and refer you to specialists.
• Psychiatrist: Diagnoses, prescribes medication, and treats severe conditions (e.g., major depression, hallucinations, or suicidal tendencies). They focus less on emotional depth but are essential for “heavy-duty” cases.
• Psychotherapist: Often medically trained (e.g., former psychiatrists), they specialize in deeper issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or trauma. Therapy can last months to years and may include medication. Some licensed psychologists also become psychotherapists after additional training.

​When to choose whom? Start with a psychotherapist for mild symptoms (e.g., anxiety or sadness). For intense mood swings or dangerous impulses, see a psychiatrist.

How Does Psychotherapy Work?

Psychotherapy isn’t a pill you can measure with a thermometer. Its success depends on the “alliance”—whether you and your therapist are on the same wavelength. Key points:

• Be clear about your goals. Do you want empathy or a structured plan? To explore the past or change the present?
• Feel comfortable with your therapist. Their voice, humor, or approach should click with you. If there’s no connection after 2–3 sessions, find another.
• Expectations for results. Therapy isn’t a magic fix, but with conscious effort, it can improve your well-being. For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers quicker results by targeting specific issues (e.g., managing anxiety).

​Main Schools of Psychotherapy

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Shortest (4–6 months), evidence-based. Helps change negative thoughts (e.g., “I’m worthless”) and learn new behaviors. Ideal for anxiety, depression, or perfectionism.
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A CBT offshoot for mood swings, self-harm, or addictions. Combines mindfulness and emotional acceptance.
• Psychoanalysis: Long-term, dives into the subconscious through free associations. Suits those seeking to understand deep inner conflicts but takes years.
• Gestalt Therapy: Focuses on the “here and now,” balancing emotions and rationality. Lasts up to 2 years.
• Existential Therapy: For those seeking life’s meaning or fearing change. Encourages honesty with yourself and responsibility for choices.

Adapted from “Psychological Journal” by Daria Varlamova
Translation and adaptation: Laurynas Sadzevičius

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From Personal Experience:
My Path with Psychotherapy

When choosing a therapist, I don’t care much about diplomas, quirks, or age. Five universities? Great, but not necessary. A little eccentric or overly emotional? Fine by me, as long as there’s a “click.” Younger than me? Why not--both of my therapists were younger Lithuanians, and the therapeutic bond still worked, though with a smile. Religion, politics, or upbringing? Honestly, irrelevant. What matters more is whether the person knows their values and lives by them. For me, that’s essential.

What matters to me?

• Long-term therapy. Above all, therapy that requires patient work with old, deep-rooted traumas. I like the slow excavation: emotion after emotion, through old basements filled with “monstrositos” (childhood fears) and treasures. Cognitive therapy felt like a waste of time to me, while person-centered therapy? Not for me--I already lead too often. I need a guide who is patient, but with a touch of teacher, even guru, energy.
• Intellectual and emotional connection. A must. I need someone who really catches me, because my mind and heart tend to overshadow everything. Few people can handle that—even close friends, let alone specialists. I need an independent, courageous thinker who isn’t afraid to be controversial.
• The right timing. The healing connection happens when everything collapses. After failed relationships, when you can’t get up, when you crave unconditional support—even if you’re paying for it. That’s when such a bond appears, when in some session you suddenly break down in streams of tears. It’s painful, but incredibly alive. Decisive moments change everything if there’s someone beside you who can hold them.
• Strength of character. Finally, I need strong character. A therapist must be like a rock—able to stop me, speak up, even laugh at my storms with love. Sometimes that takes brazen courage or creative chaos, which might feel “harsh” but is just right. Facing the darkness requires uncompromising honesty—we all have our moments of standing like the shooter in Mikalojus Čiurlionis’ painting (below), bow stretched, pointing into the dark fomation in the sky. For me, that symbolizes our starkest inner battles: solitary, heroic, almost mythic struggles that demand raw truth.

​We are alive, woo ))​

⬅️⬅️⬅️ The Sun in Sagittarius
XI of the 12-painting cycle „Zodiac“
by M.K.Ciurlionis (Lithuania)