Path of self discovery

Connection to Attachment Styles: FA vs SA
Dreams and moral material naturally overlap with attachment typology: disorganized attachment (FA) lives in constant threat and lacks an integrated "point" from which to calmly step between openness and withdrawal. Its mantra often sounds like: 
"If I'm open – I'll be punished; if I'm closed – I'll be left." 
So, a FA person constantly balances between hot activity and cold passivity, never experiencing safe being in either pole.

In contrast, a securely attached person (SA) can live in both poles' worlds: they feel loved and respected in closeness and distance alike. Their inner Super-Ego is not a voice controlling with a punishing tone, but a structuring and supportive force—one that:
allows being both "I'm open" and "I'm quiet" without panic.

My dreams showed me both paths: at first, I was in the FA image (persecuted, without defense), then—a magical step into SA meaning (a defender appears, Natalia appears). This is not magic, but a consistent process: conscious work on oneself, boundary reconstruction, building inner security.

The Map – Compass in the Chaos 
Such a storm as my dream cycle shows why a map is needed—an inner compass. The map I use connects two axes: happiness goals (inner, feminine: connection, being, caring) and success goals (outer, masculine: structure, action, achievements). When both poles balance, Super-Ego begins to lead safely: it protects but doesn't punish; it creates boundaries but doesn't enslave. Your map acts as an orientation here: when the world—or inner self—turns chaotic, it reminds which way to go. It doesn't block the storm, but helps not get lost in it.

Inner Goals Map (the inner control and evaluation voice) is greatly helped by visually seeing the balance between:

• happiness goals (feminine, inner, nurturing aspect) and
• success goals (masculine, outer, structuring aspect).

This map—prepared based on Arthur C. Brooks' teaching—shows how these two dimensions intertwine through key areas of human life represented as a feminine force:
🜂 Faith – the world of meaning, contemplation, and creativity.
🜄 Family – the realm of legacy, transitions, and material well-being.
🜁 Job – Serving – the field of contribution, responsibility, and reputation.
🜃 Deep Friendship – the foundation of emotional nourishment and physical care.

🟦Blue lines mark goals that bring happiness – connection, being, contemplation (feminine line).
🟨Golden lines – goals that bring success – achievements, structure, growth (masculine line). The balance of these two poles reflects not only the unity of feminine and masculine energy, but also mature Super-Ego – inner authority that no longer punishes, but leads and accepts.

A Bit of Continuity
This map idea isn't new in my journey—I started first attempts to create it during Richard Grannon's course on codependency back in 2020. Codependency is typical for anxious attached people; at that time, I worked specifically with that side of my personality, which was dominant – AP attachment. The map helped me even see where I was, and this new version, based on Arthur C. Brooks' model, is much clearer, more structured, more spiritual. It helps not only orient but also maintain the inner thread when you get lost again between feelings and events. The first maps appeared in my blog back in March 2022. And this updated version I naturally link to this autumn—it again became that same inner compass when everything around is changing. Last autumn, during an emotional storm in my group's chats, people's reactions became like a mirror—they helped me intuitively sense where the safe Super-Ego voice is still lacking (although last year we didn't consciously work on it in my therapy). Thanks to them - chat people 👍
​By the way, I started sharing this updated map for the first time last winter, when my communication with close people was more open.

(Warning: This text mentions experiences of sexual and physical violence.)
This time, I'm sharing not a translation, but purely my own writing—well, and run through ChatGPT for polish. Since Grok is spouting nonsense again, I'll stick to GPT for now.

Conscience Compasses: On Morality, Dreams, and Healing the Super-Ego
This topic isn't foreign to me: how our inner compass forms—for what society calls morality, and what I personally call conscience. I've contemplated these things for a very long time: what society is and who I am, why being an outsider is essential for me. Hiding away in isolation or blending into a crowd that can't connect with you anyway... Just because of the sheer numbers. It's crucial in my life: finding that balance between staying true to myself and true to my calling, which seems tied to working with people.
One of the oldest attempts to define a universal boundary for behavior is the Non-Aggression Principle (NAP): do not initiate or threaten violence against another's life, autonomy, property, or freedom. There are authors who have laid out this principle very systematically—their ideas come with both praise and controversy. It's not the people's names that matter here—but the ideas: without certain frameworks, morality becomes just words. Plus, some authors have been hit so hard by Cancel Culture that not only their channels and reputations, but even Wikipedia articles about them feel like trips through a funhouse mirror of lost minds. It's unimaginable how much the "me too" tribal mindset has captured hearts, rejecting timeless human values like "truth" and "conscience." There is a thought I once heard from one philosopher—that even Christ died on the cross not to maintain divisions—no, His sacrifice was for ALL. For all of us, not some more, others less. Like an absolute force pulsing with devotion, a gesture to erase tribal thinking. And what do we do?? We keep dividing... because that's modern morality: us vs. them. I'm not saying this to justify, but to remind—that even truth loses power when measured by tribes.

One thing I want to emphasize: when physical crimes—murder, rape, theft, slavery—are seen as obviously immoral acts, that's much clearer than their "mental" counterparts. And these inner equivalents—psychological violence done more subtly or insidiously against oneself—often go unnamed, but they can destroy just as deeply, fundamentally, and most importantly—with your own hands against yourself...

And that's where my dreams come in. They've become guides—prayers, visions, sequences of events repeating those four motifs, directed either outward or inward. Below are those dream guides. I write them as they came: visions, sometimes even in the form of prayers.

Dreams as Guides

1. August. The First Vision The light was warm, the air summery. There were a few people, and I was a woman standing alone against aggression. The violence here wasn't just a dangerous moment—it felt like a dark force trying to take my body and my will. I fought back. Around me appeared those who defended the rapist, not me. My defense felt very lonely and powerless. The dream ended in pain and humiliation, and I woke with a sense of helplessness. Even if the dream's motifs weren't unfamiliar, they still hit hard.
2. September. A Smaller Vision A few weeks later, in the dream I became a child. Rape episodes repeated: closeness turned into danger. An older person appeared, trying to defend, but his protection was like a flag late against the storm. I felt the aggression almost crossing the line—it was nearing something that would destroy. The dream had fear, and upon waking, a residue remained—a realization that protection can come too late. I held that help as another moment of violence, when it's useless, but somehow you have to acknowledge that someone defended.

In early October, I performed a personal rebaptism ritual. It wasn't religion, but an inner act of purification—like returning to the Source. A sense of bridge between helplessness and power. Between victim state and the ability to defend oneself. I don't believe in coincidences. (More on this ritual at the end of the post.)

1. October. The Theft Vision Later—a scene whose expression was simple and brutal: someone was pulling me from a car, wanting to take life to seize property. It was a big, burly man. In the dream, I reacted swiftly and lethally—a fair fight, I grab a small, handy knife and stab him in the neck. It wasn't heroic; it was horrific, necessity-driven protection. I woke knowing that boundaries are sometimes drawn TOO HARSHLY.
2. Liberation Scene with a Friend Another dream—like a continuation: I was a fairly young man, 20+. On the bed lay a louder, seductive figure (a music world image from before), somehow trying to seduce to subjugate to her will, her desires, her life, not ours. I started to pull away. And then—without warning—she appeared, Natalia. She stood against that seduction and dealt with it; I didn't even see how, she was as swift as I was with that brute. After that dream, I couldn't sleep deeply for a long time. There was something off... I wanted to lower those defenses, but yes, help came not as a rational plan, but as a phoenix from somewhere straight to the target.

The Meaning of Dreams and UPB's Four Poles – Coincidences
The dreams showed me the same pattern from four moral poles—rape, murder, theft, slavery, —but often directed not just outward, but inward: the specter of violence that forces overreach, raping oneself, degrading, selling out, undervaluing, have you ever felt the whip behind your back as soon as you start resting?; the murderous urge that sometimes rises as a desire to end one's life or let it empty until it becomes unbearably meaningless; theft that takes away the chance to decide, you lose your moral spine, start slicing the sky like a kite tossed by random winds, without an inner engine; deception of the mind within us that grinds and blurs clarity, pushing into mists where you'll find nothing or nothing good. The dreams acted as meditation: they showed where my inner vulnerabilities are most exposed.

Another important thing for me: these dreams were a blend of external experience and some response. At first, I was helpless, then a weak defender appeared, later—I created my own defense, and even later—Natalia appeared, forming a true support. That's steps from trauma to protection, from chaos to center.

Helplessness → weak protection → self-defense → shared defense field with another (union).

​Epilogue:
I want to talk a bit more about returning to the Source.
Whether you call it the Absolute, God, nature, or just truth—doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter if you're religious or rely on morality without divinity—it was important to me.
Returning to those absolute things after being detached for so long from imposed roles is true rebirth.
We once talked with a colleague about the Parable of the Prodigal Son. I think getting lost is meaningful if you really want to leave where you don't belong.
Returning to Him—or Her—with gentle help, switching channels so you reconnect to the all-encompassing energy that feeds this hollow walnut we call the Universe. 🌰😄
Let's try connecting.
If not to the Absolute, then at least to each other.
Because completely disconnected entities—whether people or systems—eventually demonize self.
People who go long without love, closeness, respect, acceptance, care, protection, support, empowerment... they simply dehumanize self.
And by connecting, we relearn to connect within ourselves too.
And if you see someone disconnected—remind. Show. Or if needed, plug them back in—remind them the mushrooms. 🍄‍🟫😄
Because, as one teacher who calls herself a spiritual catalyst said, those mushrooms, are connected through their mycelium much stronger than we humans.
The main thing is that we don't have to experience tragedies just because of disconnection or not knowing (never learned) how to reconnect.
​That's it. 🌿

🔴 ​**The People We Choose**
Lately, I've been reflecting more and more on the people around me. In the past, I thought anyone would do: a thief, a jerk, or a liar – after all, life turned out that way, parents raised them like that, and the soul needs its lessons. I still get that, but now I want a completely different level of people around me. Those for whom, for example, honor, dignity, and conscience mean everything.

Women often don't think about these values because it's assumed they have nothing to do with femininity, don't help find a partner, and only get in the way of a career. That's a misconception. Any relationships – friendship, love, or work – can be long-term and quality only in one case: if people's values align, i.e., their inner "compasses" point in the same direction.

It worries me a lot when a man can't explain what conscience or keeping one's word means to him. If he sees conscience as "I try not to lie, and if pushed I just stay silent," then as a personality, he seems pretty sad. Conscience is so much more. If a person can't define morality for themselves, control themselves, and evaluate their actions, that's really unfortunate 🧭

🟠 **Value Differences Between Genders**

• Men often value clarity, consistency, and responsibility. Conscience shows in keeping commitments and consistent actions.
• Women tend to value the inner moral compass, empathy, and relationship harmony more. Conscience is not just behavior, but also care for others.

A man will value the woman herself and her behavior, which is really an indirect outcome of health of her Super-Ego. And for a man, it's important to teach his Super-Ego safer attachment, because a woman will value his inner world and relationships directly and obviously :D
Of course, wwe can't forget that each of us has both a man and a woman inside :) 🌈

🟡 **Psychology and Responsibility**
Psychology can explain any behavior: countless sexual relationships, manipulations, avoiding responsibility? It's all due to childhood traumas, relationships with mom, or attachment disorders. That's convenient if you want to justify yourself. But if you're already an adult, raise yourself! Seek self-awareness! You can always find an excuse for the pain you cause others, but most of the time, you see what you're doing – at least from the reaction. If your mind is healthy (without organic damage), you have to be able to analyze. Even if an inexplicable force pushes you to steal or use someone else, you can understand, feel that you're harming. And you do understand! But you'd rather shove the doubts deep and justify yourself.

Low values rule a person – money at any cost, pleasures at any cost, indulging whims – he turns into a dirty, low-level creature.
In psychological terms, according to Freud:

• **Id (Instincts)** = desires, instincts, pursuit of pleasure.
• **Ego (I)** = mediator, reality negotiator.
• **Super-Ego (True Self)** = inner moral guardian, conscience.

Ego recognizes and satisfies Id's desires according to Super-Ego's norms and laws. Super-Ego is our inner moral guardian, conscience, which should not be a punishing judge, but a secure attachment guide: supportive, empathetic, helping to grow without chains of guilt. When there's no balance between these three, a person remains unfinished, as if fake, fragmented – with such a one, it's impossible to create anything real 🧠

🟢 **High Values and Inner Purity**
Neither intellect, nor intelligence, nor education create high values on their own. They are born from inner purity and fullness, from constant work on oneself – especially healing Super-Ego so that it gains secure attachment traits: not suppressing, but encouraging to be authentic self. High values turn a person not just into a living being, but into a true Human. Values such as:

• dignity
• respect
• self-respect
• strength of will and spirit
• conscience

– raise high soul vibrations and make a person pure and bright ⚖️

🔵 **Safe Environment**
Such people cannot live, be friends, or work with dirty types. They will never understand. They will always try to suppress and destroy. The unconscious is much stronger and more powerful than the conscious.

Choose people who match your level of values, and you will be happy!
This not only protects your inner harmony, but also helps Super-Ego become a true ally, not an enemy 🛡️
Adapted from Antonina Egorova. Translation and adaptation: Laurynas Sadzevičius

Translation of the text with my personal experience at the end.

Mental health is becoming less taboo in Eastern Europe—books, articles, and support groups are popping up. Still, many hesitate to seek help or don’t know where to start. Here’s a guide to light the way.

Do I Need a Therapist?

What’s the difference between a psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychotherapist?

• Psychologist: Holds a psychology degree and helps with specific issues (e.g., family conflicts or career challenges). They can’t prescribe medication or treat mental disorders unless they’re a clinical psychologist, who can recognize symptoms and refer you to specialists.
• Psychiatrist: Diagnoses, prescribes medication, and treats severe conditions (e.g., major depression, hallucinations, or suicidal tendencies). They focus less on emotional depth but are essential for “heavy-duty” cases.
• Psychotherapist: Often medically trained (e.g., former psychiatrists), they specialize in deeper issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or trauma. Therapy can last months to years and may include medication. Some licensed psychologists also become psychotherapists after additional training.

​When to choose whom? Start with a psychotherapist for mild symptoms (e.g., anxiety or sadness). For intense mood swings or dangerous impulses, see a psychiatrist.

How Does Psychotherapy Work?

Psychotherapy isn’t a pill you can measure with a thermometer. Its success depends on the “alliance”—whether you and your therapist are on the same wavelength. Key points:

• Be clear about your goals. Do you want empathy or a structured plan? To explore the past or change the present?
• Feel comfortable with your therapist. Their voice, humor, or approach should click with you. If there’s no connection after 2–3 sessions, find another.
• Expectations for results. Therapy isn’t a magic fix, but with conscious effort, it can improve your well-being. For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers quicker results by targeting specific issues (e.g., managing anxiety).

​Main Schools of Psychotherapy

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Shortest (4–6 months), evidence-based. Helps change negative thoughts (e.g., “I’m worthless”) and learn new behaviors. Ideal for anxiety, depression, or perfectionism.
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A CBT offshoot for mood swings, self-harm, or addictions. Combines mindfulness and emotional acceptance.
• Psychoanalysis: Long-term, dives into the subconscious through free associations. Suits those seeking to understand deep inner conflicts but takes years.
• Gestalt Therapy: Focuses on the “here and now,” balancing emotions and rationality. Lasts up to 2 years.
• Existential Therapy: For those seeking life’s meaning or fearing change. Encourages honesty with yourself and responsibility for choices.

Adapted from “Psychological Journal” by Daria Varlamova
Translation and adaptation: Laurynas Sadzevičius

Another translation again for maneuvering between humor and lyricism :)

The profession of psychologist and therapist is still shrouded in a romantic mystery, despite all efforts to debunk or ridicule it. People continue to believe that psychologists casually earn lots of money without doing anything for it. A psychologist is both insightful and stupid. Stupid because he utters trueisms. Insightful because I figured out how to make money on it. Psychologist causes envy and admiration, and is therefore irritating. Many want to become psychologists precisely in order to evoke all these strong contradictory feelings in other people. Want to know why you shouldn't do it?
1. If a client complains that he has difficulty expressing his anger, the first person he will express everything he has accumulated over 40 years to will be you. Rather be a salesperson! You would answer.
2. They won’t tell their friends about you: they are shy. Being a cosmetologist is much more convenient.
3. If they are not pleased with life, they will not be pleased with therapy either. Who will be to blame? You.
4. One day, a very rich client will certainly offer you money for therapy for three years in advance. So, if you don't want to lose your reputation forever, you can't accept it. Y'all better be building houses than this.
5. You cannot ask an accountant client to lead your finances, a massage client to stretch your neck, a gynecologist client to perform an ultrasound for you or your wife, a police client to make the neighbors smile. If you do this, you are no longer a psychologist. You'd rather not be one!
6. Don't assume that your customers love you. Actually, it's a transfer, you just remind them of their moms. If they love you, it means their moms were quite a thing. The better you work, the quicker they will figure it out and leave.
7. If their moms were not so cool, instead of their moms they start pissing you off. The thought of having nothing to do with all of that is a bit comforting, but other times, dodging the pillows (well, if not chairs) flying around your head, you think, I wish I were a boxing coach.
8. Y'all on point all the time. If after visiting an insurance company you write in your blog "God, I'm so tired of being stupid", all clients will be offended, and others will even get angry. Next week you will be discussing with everyone that you didn't mean it. It would be better if you worked for an insurance company.
9. They don't care about you. Did u get married? They don't know it. Do you have love drama? They don't even blink about it. They only care about how you feel about them personally. It's easier for a massage therapist!
10. You can't sleep with them, no matter how much you want to. Keep in mind that you will be offered it more than once! You'd rather be an orthopedic doctor.
11. If you're really upset by this, you can report it to your supervisor. Keep in mind that you can't sleep with him either. Otherwise, your supervisor is no longer a supervisor.
12. All of this is not worth that much. If you only give advice all your life, you will be driving a Ford Focus. If you want a "lexus", you have to be a supervisor or a teacher. Many bad therapists do this.
P.S. This text is written as a joke only for the purpose of relieving the tension of the author and the readers. The author did not mean anyone in particular. The author infinitely respects his colleagues, clients, and most importantly - his therapist and supervisor!
Pauline Gaverdovskaya

Another translation of a text. This one isn't pleasant at all to those, who need motivation. I don't believe either  motivation or discipline alone is an absolute answer, but here you will need to bow to the her majesty - DISCIPLINE :P

There are two main ways to get yourself to do something.

The first, most popular, and devastatingly wrong choice is to try to motivate yourself.

The second, less popular, and entirely correct choice is to develop discipline.

This is one of those situations where adopting a different approach immediately leads to better results. It’s not often you hear the phrase “paradigm shift” used correctly, but this is one of those. The moment when a light bulb goes on over your head.

What’s the difference?

Motivation, in general, is based on the mistaken assumption that a particular mental or emotional state is necessary to complete a task.

This is a completely false perception.

Discipline, on the other hand, separates activity from moods and feelings, thereby sidestepping the problem by continually improving them.

The consequences are staggering.

Successful completion of tasks leads to internal states that chronic procrastinators feel are necessary to get started on the task.

To put it simply, you don’t wait until you’re in Olympic shape to start training. You train to get there.

When action is driven by feelings, waiting for the right mindset is a particularly insidious form of procrastination. I know this all too well, and I wish someone had pointed it out to me twenty, fifteen, or ten years before I felt the difference.

If you wait until you feel ready to do something, you’re screwed. This is how the dreaded procrastinator loops arise.

At its core, chasing motivation is insisting on the infantile fantasy that we should only do what we feel like doing. The problem is framed as, “How do I get myself to do what I’ve already decided in my mind of doing?” This is bad.

The real question is, "How do I recognize my feelings as irrelevant and start doing the things I consciously want to do without being a whiny?"

The trick is to cut the connection between feelings and actions, and do what needs to be done anyway. You will feel good and energized afterward.

Motivation is the wrong way. I am 100% sure that this false limitation is the main reason why many people in developed countries just sit in their underwear, play Xbox and masturbate instead of doing something useful.

Believing in motivation is a consequence of psychological problems.

Since real life in the real world sometimes requires people to do things that no one in their right mind can enthusiastically accept, "motivation" runs into an insurmountable obstacle in trying to generate enthusiasm for something that objectively does not deserve it. The only solution, other than fooling around, is to forget about this "right mind". This is a terrible, and fortunately, wrong dilemma.

Trying to maintain enthusiasm for fundamentally dull and deadly actions is a form of deliberate psychological self-harm, a voluntary madness: "I love these spreadsheets so much, I can't wait to finally fill out the formula for calculating my annual income, I love my job so much!"

I do not consider deliberate manifestations of hypomania to be the optimal stimulus for human activity. The human brain does not tolerate abuse over an infinite period, so the retribution is inevitable. The body has its own brakes and safety valves.

The worst that can happen is success in the wrong action - temporary. A much better scenario is to maintain your sanity, which unfortunately tends to be misconstrued as a moral failure: “I still don’t like my pointless paper-pushing job.” “I still prefer pie to broccoli and can’t lose weight, maybe I’m just a wimp.” “I need to buy another motivation book.” Bullsh*t. The critical mistake is to think of these cases in terms of motivation or lack thereof at all. The answer is discipline, not motivation.

There’s another, practical problem with motivation. It has a tiny shelf life and needs to be constantly refreshed.

Motivation is your hand on a crank to increase the pressure. At its best, it stores and converts energy for a specific purpose. There are times when this is the right approach – Olympic competition and prison breaks come to mind. But it’s a terrible basis for ordinary daily action, and unlikely to achieve long-term results.

Instead, discipline is like a motor that once started, continually supplies energy to the system.

Productivity has no necessary mental states. For consistent, long-term results, discipline trumps motivation (running circles around it, giving it a flick, and eating its lunch).

In the end, motivation is an attempt to achieve a state of readiness to do something. Discipline is when you do something even when you are not able to.

You feel good afterward.

Discipline, in short, is a system, while motivation is more like a goal. There is symmetry in this. Discipline is something more or less permanent, while motivation is fleeting.

How to develop discipline? By acquiring habits - starting with small, even microscopic ones, gaining momentum, using them to further change in everyday life, building a positive feedback loop.

Motivation is a counterproductive approach to productivity. What is important is discipline.


From page "Psychology, manipulation, influence"
Translation: Laurynas Sadzevicius

Another translation of a text, another list. This one is more pleasant and I hope you'll find quite a bit of yourself in it, enjoy :)

1. A more adequate perception of reality, free from the influence of current needs, stereotypes, prejudices; interest in the unknown.

2. Acceptance of oneself and others as they are, the absence of artificial, predatory forms of behavior and rejection of such behavior on the part of others.

3. Spontaneity of manifestations, simplicity and naturalness. Compliance with established rituals, traditions and ceremonies, but an attitude towards them with a proper sense of humor. This is not automatic, but conscious conformism at the level of external behavior.

4. Business orientation. Such people are usually not busy with themselves, but with their life's task. Usually they correlate their activities with universal values ​​and tend to consider it from the point of view of eternity, and not the current moment. Therefore, they are all philosophers to some extent.

5. A position of detachment in relation to many events. This helps them to endure troubles relatively calmly and be less susceptible to external influences. They are often prone to loneliness.

6. Autonomy and independence from the environment; resistance under the influence of frustrating factors.

7. Freshness of perception: finding something new every time in the already known.

8. Extreme experiences, characterized by a feeling of the disappearance of one's own Self.

9. A sense of community with humanity as a whole.

10. Friendship with other self-actualizing people: a narrow circle of people with whom the relationships are very deep. No manifestations of hostility in interpersonal interactions.

11. Democratic in relationships. Willingness to learn from others.

12. Stable internal moral standards. They have a keen sense of good and evil: they are focused on goals, and the means are always subordinate to them.

13. A "philosophical" sense of humor. A humorous attitude towards life in general and towards oneself, but one's shortcomings or misfortunes are never considered funny.

14. Creativity that does not depend on what a person does and is evident in all of their actions.

15. A critical attitude towards the culture to which they belong: the good is chosen and the bad is rejected. They feel more like representatives of humanity as a whole than of one culture.

​From "Psychological Journal" page, author unknown
Translation: Laurynas Sadzevicius

Another translation of a text with some bitter sarcasm, where it truthfully belongs, since some parents still have no idea. Very short one but very important one as well!!, enjoy :)

1.🧏‍♀️ The child doesn't listen. But then let your child hit you too, when you refuse to buy him ice cream.

2. 🤏He is younger and should respect you. In that case, give him the right to spank his younger sister or brother, kitten or hamster if these are not respectful enough.

3. 😕He doesn't understand otherwise. Just be consistent: also spank foreign tourists, and, of course, aquarium fish (rare blockheads).

4. 😟The child made you worry. At the same time, give it to your sick mother who missed her medicine so that she doesn't forget next time.

5. 🤬He makes you angry on purpose. By the way, don't forget to give your colleague who is always drinking tea from your cup and leaving it dirty a slap on the back of the head.

6. 😤It is harmful to hold in anger. That's right, and don't hold back with your boss or the traffic cop who fined you either. It's harmful.

7. 💢A sincere slap is better than a false forgiveness. Therefore, if you quarrel with relatives or friends, don't compromise, but start a friendly brawl.

These examples clearly show how illogical and harmful the use of physical force is. Being an adult and strong does not mean suppressing the weak. Strength is in the ability to find a common language with a child and educate with words, not with a fist.

From "Psychological Journal" page, author unknown
Translation: Laurynas Sadzevicius

Another translation of a text about apathy, stagnation:

1. Apathy is the absence of desires and emotions.
With apathy, the body has no energy for "deeds." Even if there is a need to move and "solve problems," there is no energy for this, specifically the energy of desires and emotions.

If a car runs out of gas but the need to move on does not disappear, the simplest and most accessible way since ancient times is to push it further with muscle power. After pushing the car for a couple of kilometers, a person usually gets tired, apathy occurs, and the desire to push as before eats him up. You need to find another way out.

2. Apathy is a painkiller for too strong feelings.
Strong and prolonged load on the muscles leads to overstrain and painful sensations. If a person himself is unable to refuse to continue such a load by an effort of will, the "apathy" safeguard is turned on.

3. Apathy is an opportunity to think about a problem without feeling.
After sitting powerlessly near the car, a person can get distracted and stretch tired muscles, thinking about how else to take care of himself. Where to find gasoline, get to a populated area, get some sleep, and call for help.

4. Apathy goes away on its own if you don’t interfere with it.
Medium fatigue goes away on its own if you remove the load. After which you can again freely use the methods that last time led to overstretch and pain. In extreme cases you can push the car if no other way out is found during this time.

5. Apathy is a natural reaction to a hopeless situation.
Apathy takes away unrealistic, harmful desires and demands from a person, and also shifts attention to the need to recover from the stress load. If there is no gasoline and 100 km of the way ahead, pushing the car the whole way is pointless ... and it would be better to understand this.

6. Apathy is the 3rd part of the process of adaptation to the inevitable.
Apathy naturally occurs after overexertion (pushing a car), i.e. manifestation of aggression. Aggression usually occurs after a short disagreement ("It can't be that I forgot to fill up the car with gas") with the fact that everything happened the way it did. But after apathy and restoration of internal mental strength ("to hell with the car, I'm more important than a piece of metal"), a period of restoring connections with the outside world begins, i.e. progress ("I'll look for a village and buy a can of gasoline there"). Together, all 4 parts create the process of experiencing grief or loss. This process can be observed most clearly for a long time in people who have experienced the death of loved ones.

7. Apathy is unfinished grief.
If you feel apathetic, something in your life has been lost (you were late for a meeting, or wasted time looking for gasoline). And now there is emptyness in that place.

8. Apathy is easier and faster to endure when it is safe and warm.
You can restore your strength and allow yourself to feel powerless when it is safe around you. When there are reliable people nearby who will deal with external problems for you and maintain a warm attitude towards you without demanding anything in return (thinking about going to the village for a can of gasoline is definitely easier if being late does not entail serious punishment).

9. Fighting apathy only increases apathy in general.
Spending your last strength on creating the illusion that you have a lot of strength is an activity doomed to failure in the long term, like trying to push a car when you are stuck high in the mountains.

10. Apathy can become chronic if it is too painful or scary to remember the event at all.
Sometimes events in life bring so much pain that it is impossible to cope with it, and there is no time for a full recovery either. Then the only way out may be “pushing this problem away for later or maybe forever.” Only after that, you may have the strength to get out of bed at least. If you apply this to an example with the car without gasoline, then at night in the mountains at minus 20°C it is better to be distracted by what will happen to the car if there is nothing to warm up with and a blizzard slowly turns it into a large snowdrift.

11. Chronic apathy leads to a feeling of painful emptiness.
Yes, unpleasant feelings arise when, six months later, in the summer, you find the keys to that car stuck in the mountains in your jacket pocket. And if the loss is not related to a thing, but to a person, then it is even more difficult. "Maybe I will remember it some other time ... but for now, I will habitually pretend that the car is just waiting for me in the garage and when I need it, I will be able to use it".

12. In between bouts of chronic apathy, "ghosts" of those feelings that caused apathy appear. "I urgently need a car... I have it in the garage... I run there... here are the keys, I open it... aaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! It's not here again. Again I'm late, all my plans are collapsing at the last moment, and everything is empty and meaningless. I don't want anything. I can't do anything."

13. Chronic apathy can be overcome by returning to the pain consciously and with the desire to help yourself.

“I can still do something. Throw away the keys, don’t renew the car insurance, sell the garage, and think about other ways to travel around the planet. Maybe the train would be more convenient? I wonder what’s left of my car in the mountains… maybe they threw it off a cliff… maybe the boys from the neighboring village set up a hub in it… maybe they broke it for spare parts. But there are more important things now.”

14. The process of getting out of chronic apathy can be multi-step.
"Oh, damn. In the glove compartment of that car, there was my favorite pen and the last photo with my close friend… I feel sorry for those."


From page "Psychology, manipulation, influence" by Alexander Steshin
Translation: Laurynas Sadzevicius