Path of self discovery

I recently finished listening to the Bible. For a while now, I've been listening more than reading — time flows more gently that way, and I don't have to stare at a screen that strains my eyes. Still, paper books remain a delicacy for me, one I always return to if there's a chance. Just not any books — I have a bag full of ones that no longer interest me. But Jonah from the Bible... Jonah stuck with me. Not for holiness. For the story.
Everything was taken from him: family, connections, position, safety. He was left as no one's, nothing's, nowhere. Completely thrown out of what people call a "decent life" — so much so that even the devil couldn't tempt him. He couldn't catch Jonah with excess, bottom, fears, or promises. Jonah knelt, raged, rebelled, argued with God... and still didn't break. It sounds like a person who went through the hell of disorganization and held onto their inner axis. And here, my favorite metaphor emerged:

🟥 **The disorganized type sometimes creates the game themselves to escape reality...
and then participates in it to destroy its meaning.**
Like the "Squid Game" creator who builds the game to control chaos, but steps into it to deny the chaos, and thus becomes the director of their own trauma theater.
This is a person who:
→ flees reality into a structure that destroys them,
→ flees pain into chaos that amplifies it,
→ flees from themselves — and returns to themselves only through destruction.
That's the signature of disorganization:
create a system to protect yourself — and demolish it so you don't go mad.
So there you can find both the game owner and the first eliminated player. Both have the same inner rhythm:
"There is no safety — only safety breaths and longing."

🟦 Why Did Jonah End Up on the Same Shelf as the Squid Game Creator?
At first, it seemed to me that this reflection should go in part 5 (about attachment). But this thought was too alive, too bodily, too human, and now I see why.
Jonah and the Squid Game creator are the same archetype.
One stayed in hell, the other returned from it.
In the story, Jonah experiences absolute polarities:
chaos → emptiness,
emptiness → pain,
pain → control,
control → rebellion,
rebellion → faith.
He was thrown into darkness so deep, as children from dysfunctional families are thrown — where safety is just a mirage, where even love has a price.
That's why Jonah resonates so precisely with disorganization:
when you grow up in hell, even heaven seems like a deception.

Litvinova Julia “Fallen angels with bound wings”, 2016
Children from dysfunctional families grow up in filth and vice. Their wings are bound from birth, there is no opportunity to break out of the vicious circle, and therefore no future. Beatings, chained to radiators to keep them out of the way. And when they grow up, the social bottom awaits them: drug addiction, prostitution and other plagues of modern society. They have never seen anything else and, unfortunately, will never see anything else.

I agree with every word drawn here.
Just not with the last thought.
I believe that even the most wounded part of a person can be accepted, but at the same time, precisely, courageously, calmly — not allowed to destroy the spaces that accept them. Not allowed to smash the doors they themselves want to enter.
​Such a person must learn that their self-made Squid Game won't be accepted where healing happens. Only efforts are accepted, and thus space is gained to breathe from inner cruelty. It's possible. ✊

🟩 And Here's What Jonah Really Teaches: The Hope of Return.
He returned.
And that's the reason this post is called HEALING:
✔ It's possible to return to safety even after total collapse;
✔ The brain can learn peace from chaos;
✔ Darkness can become a foundation, not a curse;
✔ Healing doesn't mean avoiding chaos — it means not repeating it.
Because some people, fleeing chaos, choose connections where there's only... emptiness.
Emptiness looks like peace from the outside. But it's not peace.
It's a mask. Another extreme.
Life ≠ Chaos.
Peace ≠ Emptiness.
​As one movie character said:
"Life always finds a way."
Let's add:
"Peace does too."

🟪 So, Here's What I Leave in This Post
Even if a Squid Game creator lives inside you, and life keeps putting you in the "first eliminated player's" spot, you can still be Jonah.
Not the one who avoided darkness.
But the one who lived through it.
Not the one who was "perfect."
But the one who couldn't be caught by excess or poverty.
And that's the essence of HEALING.
This post is not an addition.
t's a more mature stop.

Yesterday, my body went through a little hell of survival mode — thanks to a work app whose algorithms sometimes decide that a driver's boundaries and safety are secondary concerns.
Right before the evening bonus, I was sent to a dark, unlit loft settlement where residents wander like NPCs with an alcohol buff. Finding the recipient in those conditions is often like passing one of the "Squid Game" stages.
And, of course, the body switches to "crisis mode" after such an experience: in the evening, I started devouring everything in reach. No brakes, no shame — just primitive survival.
Although I usually fast and strictly limit calories, because my body — maybe due to hormone therapy, genetics, or age — immediately kicks into "store, store, store" mode otherwise.
That evening, the whole regime was just turned off, some piggy moment.
​But it was precisely in this mini agony that one very clear realization happened — about attachment types and "Squid Game" logic. And another insight emerged, but that is for the next blog's post.

The Boredom of the Secure Ones
​No matter if you're into attachment styles or not — the only one that functions healthily is secure attachment. 
All the others, no matter how hard they try to create impressions, horizons, future visions... they eventually hit reality.
To some, they seem like the main "Squid Game" prize — and everyone else is just caterpillars doomed to crawl.
Others demonstrate the ability to connect with every possible person... just not with themselves.
The third ones demolish the system, but when the system doesn't react — they start demolishing themselves.
People burn out, relationships collapse, catastrophes begin, "wow effects" happen, but without inner support.
And the secure ones... they're boring. Peaceful. Simple. Yes, those who got married around their 27-35 and never divorced out of satisfaction, not duty.
Not the cosmic mushrooms, not tundra gods, not golden standards.
Just normal people — like everyone, and completely unique and exceptional like every one, who is walking this Earth. 
​Such the luxury of boring stability. And that's why they win.

"Squid Game" Metaphor for Attachment
⏺️ Avoidant – the game organizers, overseers, those sitting on golden toilets.
Everyone else seems lower to them, because otherwise they'd have to face their own inner world.
They won't let anyone win the game. Including themselves.
🔼 Anxious – the bulk of the players.
Quiet, compliant, fighting to the last drop of blood.
They think they're not worthy of winning — and that's more than enough to never win.
​⏹️ Disorganized -- pure chaos.
From outliers to the invisible.
Sometimes with golden toilets, sometimes — with bloody knees.
They neither demolish the game nor continue it; insecurity never approaches zero.
Here you can find both the game creator (I'll write about him in the next entry too) and the first eliminated player you can't even remember.

The Exit Still Exists
​Each of those badges — ⏺️🔼⏹️ — can become a simple, earthly, normal person who agrees with themselves and others.
The start is always the same:

• Notice what game you're playing in.
• Whether you're dragging someone else into it.
• Or do you just flow with an inner rhythm that repeats because that's what you're used to: neither playing the game yourself nor forcing others to play, but randomly smashing the system or yourself.
  

Noticing is the first sign of healing.
And when you notice, choice appears:

• Don't stay in the game,
• No longer lead the game for others,
• No longer worship the game as opposition to reality.

Then you start to understand that connection — with another or with yourself — is not a danger. It's just connection.
Just intimacy.
​Just being.

Finally: You Realize Everyone Is Talking About Themselves
A person who pushes you away — is telling about themselves.
A person who can't be OK alone — is telling about themselves.
A person who does both: pushes away and fears loneliness — is telling about their inner chaos. Then you start to see how you're destroying your own life out of habit — and that becomes the turning point.

Fourth post in the series, this time about roles and another movie as promised :)
When "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" are no longer three people, but three of your own states – on drama and creative triangles.
Once you've gotten the hang of choosing direction in life and it feels like 2+2, you have your map, you're learning to understand your dreams, you can take a look at what roles you take on in your daily life. Are you like a Western wild gunman on the loose :D or a somewhat more civilized version. It doesn't matter at all if you're good one day, bad or ugly another... the important thing is whether those roles are that childish or a bit more mature.
Right now, I just remembered that Chat GPT, since no AI is moral—they're just programmed to be used, which isn't always moral—knew I was doing another post related to a movie, so it wrote it for me right away instead of me... Which it absolutely shouldn't have done. Sometimes less is more, but... The essence of this is probably that I need to step back from AI suggestions and remember how these triangles really work in my life and how I manage to recall that the "good guys vs bad guys" game is so appealing... and so lame at the same time... And in its finale, you end up hiding behind the "ugly guy's" mask, at least that's how it turns out for me... And everything sinks into the swamps. So over time, I noticed that no matter how hard it is sometimes, and energy drained to hell knows where... it's possible to just stay in the Creative Triangle dynamic, then the whole mess subsides and becomes not so big or not that relevant.

Why did I choose this movie? No clue at all... but echoes from watching this movie in the past came back to me with those good and bad characters... and then ugly fit perfectly into its place... Where he no longer have those questioning eyes, who's to blame for my situation? when will SOMEONE rescue me, well, I don't understand?, but instead asks: what can I create?
The good guy's character no longer needs to save anyone or clash with someone to stop their evil plans :D Well, and the bad guy, protagonist no longer needs to carry out endless horrific plans or attack, hurt, and so on.
The victim becomes a creator, a student; the rescuer – a trainer, therapist; the persecutor – a growth provocateur, a challenger.

I really don't know what I'm writing, or for whom, or why... But... since I touched on goals again, I dive into values too now. This time not seriously, but in game form, because I'm starting to annoy myself with all those spiritual matrices, so now maybe we can swing to a playful format, so it doesn't look like I know too little – because only then everything has that Brussels Parliament seriousness... The more you know, the more you play ;D maybe someone will come and hammer you with the "you're an idiot" phrase while you at play and remind you of the Dunning-Kruger effect :D And then you can't stop staring at a person's completely exhibitionistic draw of self-portrait just before your eyes... I don't quite grasp why such episodes freeze me so much... But they stun me to the point of jaw-dropping :) Roughly it seems to me like... "woooooow, I got a pet and it's even a human" (and though my mind boils: "don't you have enough of them already??"), I just shout: "what a truly wonderful day!!!" (just the other day 🤦‍♂️)

Let's get back to the matrix, well, values... Why as a matrix?? Because there are endless values, endless and they all always point in one and the same direction, in my opinion, - the Absolute, the phenomenon embodying all virtues completely, and people call it God... God is good (aka virtuous) ALL THE TIME :)) isn't that the code among believers?? God is good... (finish the sentence, and they'll accept you ALL THE TIME). But... since we're still just humans, we can choose which of those virtues to follow as directions toward Him – the Source, the Absolute.. like road signs so we don't veer off somewhere else. And the problem is that choosing values is incredibly complicated... because there are millions of them, from love and truth to?? aesthetics and diplomacy, for example... So it boils down to a matrix... the entire code is just His reflection... and that digital rain is this world should reflect His world, but really is just a pretty crooked copy... Because only He can be influenced by all possible virtues and values at once. Something like that.. let's get back to the matrix, I created this mini word game, like those on spiritual guru pages :D So, if it's too hard to choose, just glance at this word puzzle and jot down the first 3 words you see and stick to them. That's the start of life guided by certain values that should lead you to yourself, improvement, and there is happiness on a way and so on, you know.

But really, everything is a bit different... Because distilling your own values is more complicated. You have to "wait for them" until they pop out of that letter and word rain swirling inside you day in and day out, and you realize that right now you have to stick to exactly these. That's the authentic way to select, but, I repeat, if it's too complicated, no time, no mood, no nothing at all, you can pull a few from any text and if they stick, then stick to them like signs.
​
Example: In this word game I created, I found – romanticism, kindness, strength. OK So right now, I'll try to act so that my actions are romantic, kind, and strong, or so that I myself am – romantic, kind, and strong. That doesn't mean I have to align perfectly in every step, always... but I'll keep them in mind until it gradually becomes a way of life. And that's it.

P.S.: if you're afraid of getting stuck and need variety (it happens), don't need to worry. Those values "burn out", especially if they're not quite yours or don't fit the current life phase... then replace them with more aligned ones and you're done. The important thing is to stick to a few, not always choose new ones. There you go.
Everything is simpler than you think, buddy 🐝🐝🐝 And don't stop laughing, even if the neighbors upstairs start stomping with their dissatisfied little feet. 🤣🤣🤣 Grumpily..

Connection to Attachment Styles: FA vs SA
Dreams and moral material naturally overlap with attachment typology: disorganized attachment (FA) lives in constant threat and lacks an integrated "point" from which to calmly step between openness and withdrawal. Its mantra often sounds like: 
"If I'm open – I'll be punished; if I'm closed – I'll be left." 
So, a FA person constantly balances between hot activity and cold passivity, never experiencing safe being in either pole.

In contrast, a securely attached person (SA) can live in both poles' worlds: they feel loved and respected in closeness and distance alike. Their inner Super-Ego is not a voice controlling with a punishing tone, but a structuring and supportive force—one that:
allows being both "I'm open" and "I'm quiet" without panic.

My dreams showed me both paths: at first, I was in the FA image (persecuted, without defense), then—a magical step into SA meaning (a defender appears, Natalia appears). This is not magic, but a consistent process: conscious work on oneself, boundary reconstruction, building inner security.

The Map – Compass in the Chaos 
Such a storm as my dream cycle shows why a map is needed—an inner compass. The map I use connects two axes: happiness goals (inner, feminine: connection, being, caring) and success goals (outer, masculine: structure, action, achievements). When both poles balance, Super-Ego begins to lead safely: it protects but doesn't punish; it creates boundaries but doesn't enslave. Your map acts as an orientation here: when the world—or inner self—turns chaotic, it reminds which way to go. It doesn't block the storm, but helps not get lost in it.

Inner Goals Map (the inner control and evaluation voice) is greatly helped by visually seeing the balance between:

• happiness goals (feminine, inner, nurturing aspect) and
• success goals (masculine, outer, structuring aspect).

This map—prepared based on Arthur C. Brooks' teaching—shows how these two dimensions intertwine through key areas of human life represented as a feminine force:
🜂 Faith – the world of meaning, contemplation, and creativity.
🜄 Family – the realm of legacy, transitions, and material well-being.
🜁 Job – Serving – the field of contribution, responsibility, and reputation.
🜃 Deep Friendship – the foundation of emotional nourishment and physical care.

🟦Blue lines mark goals that bring happiness – connection, being, contemplation (feminine line).
🟨Golden lines – goals that bring success – achievements, structure, growth (masculine line). The balance of these two poles reflects not only the unity of feminine and masculine energy, but also mature Super-Ego – inner authority that no longer punishes, but leads and accepts.

A Bit of Continuity
This map idea isn't new in my journey—I started first attempts to create it during Richard Grannon's course on codependency back in 2020. Codependency is typical for anxious attached people; at that time, I worked specifically with that side of my personality, which was dominant – AP attachment. The map helped me even see where I was, and this new version, based on Arthur C. Brooks' model, is much clearer, more structured, more spiritual. It helps not only orient but also maintain the inner thread when you get lost again between feelings and events. The first maps appeared in my blog back in March 2022. And this updated version I naturally link to this autumn—it again became that same inner compass when everything around is changing. Last autumn, during an emotional storm in my group's chats, people's reactions became like a mirror—they helped me intuitively sense where the safe Super-Ego voice is still lacking (although last year we didn't consciously work on it in my therapy). Thanks to them - chat people 👍
​By the way, I started sharing this updated map for the first time last winter, when my communication with close people was more open.

(Warning: This text mentions experiences of sexual and physical violence.)
This time, I'm sharing not a translation, but purely my own writing—well, and run through ChatGPT for polish. Since Grok is spouting nonsense again, I'll stick to GPT for now.

Conscience Compasses: On Morality, Dreams, and Healing the Super-Ego
This topic isn't foreign to me: how our inner compass forms—for what society calls morality, and what I personally call conscience. I've contemplated these things for a very long time: what society is and who I am, why being an outsider is essential for me. Hiding away in isolation or blending into a crowd that can't connect with you anyway... Just because of the sheer numbers. It's crucial in my life: finding that balance between staying true to myself and true to my calling, which seems tied to working with people.
One of the oldest attempts to define a universal boundary for behavior is the Non-Aggression Principle (NAP): do not initiate or threaten violence against another's life, autonomy, property, or freedom. There are authors who have laid out this principle very systematically—their ideas come with both praise and controversy. It's not the people's names that matter here—but the ideas: without certain frameworks, morality becomes just words. Plus, some authors have been hit so hard by Cancel Culture that not only their channels and reputations, but even Wikipedia articles about them feel like trips through a funhouse mirror of lost minds. It's unimaginable how much the "me too" tribal mindset has captured hearts, rejecting timeless human values like "truth" and "conscience." There is a thought I once heard from one philosopher—that even Christ died on the cross not to maintain divisions—no, His sacrifice was for ALL. For all of us, not some more, others less. Like an absolute force pulsing with devotion, a gesture to erase tribal thinking. And what do we do?? We keep dividing... because that's modern morality: us vs. them. I'm not saying this to justify, but to remind—that even truth loses power when measured by tribes.

One thing I want to emphasize: when physical crimes—murder, rape, theft, slavery—are seen as obviously immoral acts, that's much clearer than their "mental" counterparts. And these inner equivalents—psychological violence done more subtly or insidiously against oneself—often go unnamed, but they can destroy just as deeply, fundamentally, and most importantly—with your own hands against yourself...

And that's where my dreams come in. They've become guides—prayers, visions, sequences of events repeating those four motifs, directed either outward or inward. Below are those dream guides. I write them as they came: visions, sometimes even in the form of prayers.

Dreams as Guides

1. August. The First Vision The light was warm, the air summery. There were a few people, and I was a woman standing alone against aggression. The violence here wasn't just a dangerous moment—it felt like a dark force trying to take my body and my will. I fought back. Around me appeared those who defended the rapist, not me. My defense felt very lonely and powerless. The dream ended in pain and humiliation, and I woke with a sense of helplessness. Even if the dream's motifs weren't unfamiliar, they still hit hard.
2. September. A Smaller Vision A few weeks later, in the dream I became a child. Rape episodes repeated: closeness turned into danger. An older person appeared, trying to defend, but his protection was like a flag late against the storm. I felt the aggression almost crossing the line—it was nearing something that would destroy. The dream had fear, and upon waking, a residue remained—a realization that protection can come too late. I held that help as another moment of violence, when it's useless, but somehow you have to acknowledge that someone defended.

In early October, I performed a personal rebaptism ritual. It wasn't religion, but an inner act of purification—like returning to the Source. A sense of bridge between helplessness and power. Between victim state and the ability to defend oneself. I don't believe in coincidences. (More on this ritual at the end of the post.)

1. October. The Theft Vision Later—a scene whose expression was simple and brutal: someone was pulling me from a car, wanting to take life to seize property. It was a big, burly man. In the dream, I reacted swiftly and lethally—a fair fight, I grab a small, handy knife and stab him in the neck. It wasn't heroic; it was horrific, necessity-driven protection. I woke knowing that boundaries are sometimes drawn TOO HARSHLY.
2. Liberation Scene with a Friend Another dream—like a continuation: I was a fairly young man, 20+. On the bed lay a louder, seductive figure (a music world image from before), somehow trying to seduce to subjugate to her will, her desires, her life, not ours. I started to pull away. And then—without warning—she appeared, Natalia. She stood against that seduction and dealt with it; I didn't even see how, she was as swift as I was with that brute. After that dream, I couldn't sleep deeply for a long time. There was something off... I wanted to lower those defenses, but yes, help came not as a rational plan, but as a phoenix from somewhere straight to the target.

The Meaning of Dreams and UPB's Four Poles – Coincidences
The dreams showed me the same pattern from four moral poles—rape, murder, theft, slavery, —but often directed not just outward, but inward: the specter of violence that forces overreach, raping oneself, degrading, selling out, undervaluing, have you ever felt the whip behind your back as soon as you start resting?; the murderous urge that sometimes rises as a desire to end one's life or let it empty until it becomes unbearably meaningless; theft that takes away the chance to decide, you lose your moral spine, start slicing the sky like a kite tossed by random winds, without an inner engine; deception of the mind within us that grinds and blurs clarity, pushing into mists where you'll find nothing or nothing good. The dreams acted as meditation: they showed where my inner vulnerabilities are most exposed.

Another important thing for me: these dreams were a blend of external experience and some response. At first, I was helpless, then a weak defender appeared, later—I created my own defense, and even later—Natalia appeared, forming a true support. That's steps from trauma to protection, from chaos to center.

Helplessness → weak protection → self-defense → shared defense field with another (union).

​Epilogue:
I want to talk a bit more about returning to the Source.
Whether you call it the Absolute, God, nature, or just truth—doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter if you're religious or rely on morality without divinity—it was important to me.
Returning to those absolute things after being detached for so long from imposed roles is true rebirth.
We once talked with a colleague about the Parable of the Prodigal Son. I think getting lost is meaningful if you really want to leave where you don't belong.
Returning to Him—or Her—with gentle help, switching channels so you reconnect to the all-encompassing energy that feeds this hollow walnut we call the Universe. 🌰😄
Let's try connecting.
If not to the Absolute, then at least to each other.
Because completely disconnected entities—whether people or systems—eventually demonize self.
People who go long without love, closeness, respect, acceptance, care, protection, support, empowerment... they simply dehumanize self.
And by connecting, we relearn to connect within ourselves too.
And if you see someone disconnected—remind. Show. Or if needed, plug them back in—remind them the mushrooms. 🍄‍🟫😄
Because, as one teacher who calls herself a spiritual catalyst said, those mushrooms, are connected through their mycelium much stronger than we humans.
The main thing is that we don't have to experience tragedies just because of disconnection or not knowing (never learned) how to reconnect.
​That's it. 🌿

🔴 ​**The People We Choose**
Lately, I've been reflecting more and more on the people around me. In the past, I thought anyone would do: a thief, a jerk, or a liar – after all, life turned out that way, parents raised them like that, and the soul needs its lessons. I still get that, but now I want a completely different level of people around me. Those for whom, for example, honor, dignity, and conscience mean everything.

Women often don't think about these values because it's assumed they have nothing to do with femininity, don't help find a partner, and only get in the way of a career. That's a misconception. Any relationships – friendship, love, or work – can be long-term and quality only in one case: if people's values align, i.e., their inner "compasses" point in the same direction.

It worries me a lot when a man can't explain what conscience or keeping one's word means to him. If he sees conscience as "I try not to lie, and if pushed I just stay silent," then as a personality, he seems pretty sad. Conscience is so much more. If a person can't define morality for themselves, control themselves, and evaluate their actions, that's really unfortunate 🧭

🟠 **Value Differences Between Genders**

• Men often value clarity, consistency, and responsibility. Conscience shows in keeping commitments and consistent actions.
• Women tend to value the inner moral compass, empathy, and relationship harmony more. Conscience is not just behavior, but also care for others.

A man will value the woman herself and her behavior, which is really an indirect outcome of health of her Super-Ego. And for a man, it's important to teach his Super-Ego safer attachment, because a woman will value his inner world and relationships directly and obviously :D
Of course, wwe can't forget that each of us has both a man and a woman inside :) 🌈

🟡 **Psychology and Responsibility**
Psychology can explain any behavior: countless sexual relationships, manipulations, avoiding responsibility? It's all due to childhood traumas, relationships with mom, or attachment disorders. That's convenient if you want to justify yourself. But if you're already an adult, raise yourself! Seek self-awareness! You can always find an excuse for the pain you cause others, but most of the time, you see what you're doing – at least from the reaction. If your mind is healthy (without organic damage), you have to be able to analyze. Even if an inexplicable force pushes you to steal or use someone else, you can understand, feel that you're harming. And you do understand! But you'd rather shove the doubts deep and justify yourself.

Low values rule a person – money at any cost, pleasures at any cost, indulging whims – he turns into a dirty, low-level creature.
In psychological terms, according to Freud:

• **Id (Instincts)** = desires, instincts, pursuit of pleasure.
• **Ego (I)** = mediator, reality negotiator.
• **Super-Ego (True Self)** = inner moral guardian, conscience.

Ego recognizes and satisfies Id's desires according to Super-Ego's norms and laws. Super-Ego is our inner moral guardian, conscience, which should not be a punishing judge, but a secure attachment guide: supportive, empathetic, helping to grow without chains of guilt. When there's no balance between these three, a person remains unfinished, as if fake, fragmented – with such a one, it's impossible to create anything real 🧠

🟢 **High Values and Inner Purity**
Neither intellect, nor intelligence, nor education create high values on their own. They are born from inner purity and fullness, from constant work on oneself – especially healing Super-Ego so that it gains secure attachment traits: not suppressing, but encouraging to be authentic self. High values turn a person not just into a living being, but into a true Human. Values such as:

• dignity
• respect
• self-respect
• strength of will and spirit
• conscience

– raise high soul vibrations and make a person pure and bright ⚖️

🔵 **Safe Environment**
Such people cannot live, be friends, or work with dirty types. They will never understand. They will always try to suppress and destroy. The unconscious is much stronger and more powerful than the conscious.

Choose people who match your level of values, and you will be happy!
This not only protects your inner harmony, but also helps Super-Ego become a true ally, not an enemy 🛡️
Adapted from Antonina Egorova. Translation and adaptation: Laurynas Sadzevičius

Translation of the text with my personal experience at the end.

Mental health is becoming less taboo in Eastern Europe—books, articles, and support groups are popping up. Still, many hesitate to seek help or don’t know where to start. Here’s a guide to light the way.

Do I Need a Therapist?

What’s the difference between a psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychotherapist?

• Psychologist: Holds a psychology degree and helps with specific issues (e.g., family conflicts or career challenges). They can’t prescribe medication or treat mental disorders unless they’re a clinical psychologist, who can recognize symptoms and refer you to specialists.
• Psychiatrist: Diagnoses, prescribes medication, and treats severe conditions (e.g., major depression, hallucinations, or suicidal tendencies). They focus less on emotional depth but are essential for “heavy-duty” cases.
• Psychotherapist: Often medically trained (e.g., former psychiatrists), they specialize in deeper issues like low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or trauma. Therapy can last months to years and may include medication. Some licensed psychologists also become psychotherapists after additional training.

​When to choose whom? Start with a psychotherapist for mild symptoms (e.g., anxiety or sadness). For intense mood swings or dangerous impulses, see a psychiatrist.

How Does Psychotherapy Work?

Psychotherapy isn’t a pill you can measure with a thermometer. Its success depends on the “alliance”—whether you and your therapist are on the same wavelength. Key points:

• Be clear about your goals. Do you want empathy or a structured plan? To explore the past or change the present?
• Feel comfortable with your therapist. Their voice, humor, or approach should click with you. If there’s no connection after 2–3 sessions, find another.
• Expectations for results. Therapy isn’t a magic fix, but with conscious effort, it can improve your well-being. For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers quicker results by targeting specific issues (e.g., managing anxiety).

​Main Schools of Psychotherapy

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Shortest (4–6 months), evidence-based. Helps change negative thoughts (e.g., “I’m worthless”) and learn new behaviors. Ideal for anxiety, depression, or perfectionism.
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A CBT offshoot for mood swings, self-harm, or addictions. Combines mindfulness and emotional acceptance.
• Psychoanalysis: Long-term, dives into the subconscious through free associations. Suits those seeking to understand deep inner conflicts but takes years.
• Gestalt Therapy: Focuses on the “here and now,” balancing emotions and rationality. Lasts up to 2 years.
• Existential Therapy: For those seeking life’s meaning or fearing change. Encourages honesty with yourself and responsibility for choices.

Adapted from “Psychological Journal” by Daria Varlamova
Translation and adaptation: Laurynas Sadzevičius

Another translation again for maneuvering between humor and lyricism :)

The profession of psychologist and therapist is still shrouded in a romantic mystery, despite all efforts to debunk or ridicule it. People continue to believe that psychologists casually earn lots of money without doing anything for it. A psychologist is both insightful and stupid. Stupid because he utters trueisms. Insightful because I figured out how to make money on it. Psychologist causes envy and admiration, and is therefore irritating. Many want to become psychologists precisely in order to evoke all these strong contradictory feelings in other people. Want to know why you shouldn't do it?
1. If a client complains that he has difficulty expressing his anger, the first person he will express everything he has accumulated over 40 years to will be you. Rather be a salesperson! You would answer.
2. They won’t tell their friends about you: they are shy. Being a cosmetologist is much more convenient.
3. If they are not pleased with life, they will not be pleased with therapy either. Who will be to blame? You.
4. One day, a very rich client will certainly offer you money for therapy for three years in advance. So, if you don't want to lose your reputation forever, you can't accept it. Y'all better be building houses than this.
5. You cannot ask an accountant client to lead your finances, a massage client to stretch your neck, a gynecologist client to perform an ultrasound for you or your wife, a police client to make the neighbors smile. If you do this, you are no longer a psychologist. You'd rather not be one!
6. Don't assume that your customers love you. Actually, it's a transfer, you just remind them of their moms. If they love you, it means their moms were quite a thing. The better you work, the quicker they will figure it out and leave.
7. If their moms were not so cool, instead of their moms they start pissing you off. The thought of having nothing to do with all of that is a bit comforting, but other times, dodging the pillows (well, if not chairs) flying around your head, you think, I wish I were a boxing coach.
8. Y'all on point all the time. If after visiting an insurance company you write in your blog "God, I'm so tired of being stupid", all clients will be offended, and others will even get angry. Next week you will be discussing with everyone that you didn't mean it. It would be better if you worked for an insurance company.
9. They don't care about you. Did u get married? They don't know it. Do you have love drama? They don't even blink about it. They only care about how you feel about them personally. It's easier for a massage therapist!
10. You can't sleep with them, no matter how much you want to. Keep in mind that you will be offered it more than once! You'd rather be an orthopedic doctor.
11. If you're really upset by this, you can report it to your supervisor. Keep in mind that you can't sleep with him either. Otherwise, your supervisor is no longer a supervisor.
12. All of this is not worth that much. If you only give advice all your life, you will be driving a Ford Focus. If you want a "lexus", you have to be a supervisor or a teacher. Many bad therapists do this.
P.S. This text is written as a joke only for the purpose of relieving the tension of the author and the readers. The author did not mean anyone in particular. The author infinitely respects his colleagues, clients, and most importantly - his therapist and supervisor!
Pauline Gaverdovskaya