I want to work on myself, but I'm not sure which consultant, therapist, coach, or counselor (hereafter called helper) to choose. What do I do?
It's important to think about what you want from your potential helper. You can ask for an introductory conversation, and find out whether a person meets your criteria. Some helpers even offer such a conversation free of charge or at a reduced price.
What questions should I ask a potential helper?
You can ask whatever you want. You have the right to ask a helper any question that you feel is important, including personal questions. Sometimes it may be appropriate for a helper not to answer, as boundaries are a vital part of a professional healing- and growth-oriented relationship, but how a helper handles your questions can inform you of his or her quality.
How do I know whether a helper is the right one for me?
Only you can know this for yourself. Sometimes you might fire your helper after one or two sessions. (This happens for various reasons. You might be too afraid to do self-work; the helper might not be the right match, etc.) Sometimes people start working together without any introductory conversations, and they're able to do some great work together. Try to be aware of your emotions. If you feel that a helper will be good for you, hire them and see how it goes. If you feel that they will not be good for you, fire them and find someone else; or, if you feel safe enough, try to express your doubts and fears and see how they respond. Personally, I always welcome potential clients to talk to me and try me out. Also, I have created a pretty detailed About Me section.
How do I know if my therapy is working for me?
This is an extremely common question, I have an article about that, which you can read here.
What is the purpose of working on myself with a helper?
It depends on your needs and goals. Generally speaking, the goal is to resolve your inner emotional conflicts and solve specific problems. This is best achieved in a safe environment with a mature, empathic, introspective, and respectful guide who has done a huge amount of self-work. Such people are very rare, but they exist.
How long can I expect my self-work with a helper to last?
It varies. Self-archeology is an unfolding process, and its length depends upon your individual situation. Sometimes self-work with a helper can be surprisingly brief, whereas in other cases it can last much longer. I work with my clients to the point where they feel self-sufficient enough that they don't need me anymore. Getting to that point is one of my (the helper's) main goals.
I really want to work with you, but I can't afford any of your listed rates. Can we work something out?
There are many people in the world who need help. That's one of the main reasons my rates are flexible. If you really are in a bad spot financially, feel free to contact me and perhaps we'll be able to arrange something. I can't promise anything, but I always try to be flexible and open to suggestions.
How can I quicken my self-archeology/healing/growing process? Are there any additional ways to speed or ease up this process?
In self-work, emotional healing, and growing, sadly, there are no shortcuts, and everyone who says it's simple or easy is either lying or have never done it seriously themselves. However, there are some ways to make this process easier. I've written an article about it called Tools for Self-Archeology, in which I talk about numerous ways to make your personal self-archeology process easier. A lot of people, myself included, find these methods useful and helpful. I hope you will, too.
All rights reserved. Darius Cikanavicius, 2012–2016.
It's important to think about what you want from your potential helper. You can ask for an introductory conversation, and find out whether a person meets your criteria. Some helpers even offer such a conversation free of charge or at a reduced price.
What questions should I ask a potential helper?
You can ask whatever you want. You have the right to ask a helper any question that you feel is important, including personal questions. Sometimes it may be appropriate for a helper not to answer, as boundaries are a vital part of a professional healing- and growth-oriented relationship, but how a helper handles your questions can inform you of his or her quality.
How do I know whether a helper is the right one for me?
Only you can know this for yourself. Sometimes you might fire your helper after one or two sessions. (This happens for various reasons. You might be too afraid to do self-work; the helper might not be the right match, etc.) Sometimes people start working together without any introductory conversations, and they're able to do some great work together. Try to be aware of your emotions. If you feel that a helper will be good for you, hire them and see how it goes. If you feel that they will not be good for you, fire them and find someone else; or, if you feel safe enough, try to express your doubts and fears and see how they respond. Personally, I always welcome potential clients to talk to me and try me out. Also, I have created a pretty detailed About Me section.
How do I know if my therapy is working for me?
This is an extremely common question, I have an article about that, which you can read here.
What is the purpose of working on myself with a helper?
It depends on your needs and goals. Generally speaking, the goal is to resolve your inner emotional conflicts and solve specific problems. This is best achieved in a safe environment with a mature, empathic, introspective, and respectful guide who has done a huge amount of self-work. Such people are very rare, but they exist.
How long can I expect my self-work with a helper to last?
It varies. Self-archeology is an unfolding process, and its length depends upon your individual situation. Sometimes self-work with a helper can be surprisingly brief, whereas in other cases it can last much longer. I work with my clients to the point where they feel self-sufficient enough that they don't need me anymore. Getting to that point is one of my (the helper's) main goals.
I really want to work with you, but I can't afford any of your listed rates. Can we work something out?
There are many people in the world who need help. That's one of the main reasons my rates are flexible. If you really are in a bad spot financially, feel free to contact me and perhaps we'll be able to arrange something. I can't promise anything, but I always try to be flexible and open to suggestions.
How can I quicken my self-archeology/healing/growing process? Are there any additional ways to speed or ease up this process?
In self-work, emotional healing, and growing, sadly, there are no shortcuts, and everyone who says it's simple or easy is either lying or have never done it seriously themselves. However, there are some ways to make this process easier. I've written an article about it called Tools for Self-Archeology, in which I talk about numerous ways to make your personal self-archeology process easier. A lot of people, myself included, find these methods useful and helpful. I hope you will, too.
All rights reserved. Darius Cikanavicius, 2012–2016.
